Goal Setting Without the Bullshit: A Flexible 6-Step Guide (Any Time of Year)

“New year, new you!” You know that’s bullshit, on so many levels.

For one thing, pushing the reset button on the calendar year doesn’t change anything other than a number. People change over time — often quietly, unevenly, and without clean timelines – the dates don’t matter at all.

For another thing, there’s nothing wrong with you such that you need to completely “reinvent yourself” or whatever – Goals are intended for self respect, not self shaming or punishment for not being “good enough”. Everyone could benefit from improving their lives in certain ways, at certain times.

So, while I am writing this post for the new year, I’m going to share some reflections, practical steps, and a loving nudge for all of us to get our proverbial shits together whenever we need it, throughout the year.

Let’s be intentional about how we design our lives, shall we?

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Step 1: Reflect Like You Mean It

(You might want to spread these reflection prompts out over a few days. Or weeks, whatever you need to do. 😉)

A. Role Review

Make a list of all of your roles in your life – whatever applies to you.

For example, mine are : myself, wife, mom, homeschool teacher, creator, & household manager.

It might seem like some of those things overlap, and they do because they’re collectively my life, but they’re also separate responsibilities.

What roles in your life carry their own responsibilities – are you a student? A volunteer? And even if your kids are adults, they still count, now just as much as ever.

Once you have your list, go through each role individually & ask yourself the following :

• How do I feel about this area, as far as the associated responsibilities & the general vibe?
• Why?
• What, if anything, would I like to improve here?

No self judgment, just be honest.

If a role feels heavy or resentful, that’s information — not failure.

B. Define Your Ideal Life

Perfection isn’t reality.

Without that in mind, get wild with this one!

What, ideally, would make your life feel peak vibrant, authentic, & exhilarating? Spend a few minutes writing it out.

Make this personal: values-based, vision-based, aesthetic, emotional, or messy.

Dream big!

C. Optional Reflection Prompts

A few more things to ask yourself, if you’d like :

• Where in my life am I proud of myself?
• Where am I drained?
• What’s one thing I’d change immediately if I could?

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Step 2: Choose a Word of the Year

This doesn’t need to be too drawn out, and it doesn’t need to be for a whole calendar year.

Pick an anchor word to help you focus your efforts on for now – if it changes, change is good. Just pick one at a time, a truth to lean into for a while to serve as a compass & a reminder of the direction you’re going (which is forward 😉).

Examples I’ve used in the past : simplify, intent, & embody.

Write it somewhere you’ll see it regularly. Make a Canva design & hang it on your wall. Tattoo it on your arm if that’s your thing. Just don’t forget your reminder.

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Step 3: The Brain Dump

Set a timer for at least five minutes and free write a list of anything on your mind. And, while you’re at it, everything.

No filtering, no performing as though it’s intended for anyone but you. Just get it all out of your head & onto paper.

Some loose categories to consider : Life + Work + Health + Wealth + Relationships. Maybe even consider some things from your “Fuck Yeah list” or childhood hobbies.

If your brain dump feels overwhelming, that’s the point — you’re emptying the clutter.

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Step 4: Prioritize Intentionally

Go back through your brain dump and sort through it :

• Hell Yes (non-negotiables or deeply aligned)
• Maybe (park for later)
• Hell No (things you’re carrying out of guilt or habit) – cross these right out

Then sort through the “Hell Yes” again, as well as your previous reflections – what things take priority for you, right now? What’s important to your wellbeing & sense of self? You really want to minimize this list as much as possible (no more than 2 or 3 things).

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Step 5 : Identify the Why

For these priorities, ask yourself why those things matter to you.

Dig deep — the root motivation, the thing that will keep you going during slumps. Does it relate to your values, your identity, your direction in life?

Ask yourself – “If I lose motivation, what truth about this goal will get my ass in gear?”

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Step 6: Build the Plan (Projects + Systems)

There are two main ways to execute on most goals – systems & projects.

Projects are time bound, outcome based goals with a definitive ending point. For example, planning a vacation or launching a product.

Systems are repeated behaviors, such as habits, routines, & processes. For example, I have my morning & evening routines, and our homeschool routine – all of these things include habits that better my life (& my kids), which is always the goal.

Pick no more than 1–3 major projects to work on or systems to develop to focus on this quarter.

An Optional Perspective : Experiments

If you have a bit more of a scientific mind, it may be helpful to view these new projects & systems as experiments.

• Include:
  • Hypothesis
  • Test (action)
  • Evaluate
  • Implement or Pivot

“Experiments” remove failure-shame, because they’re just experiments. Try a thing, and if it doesn’t work, try something else.

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Keep Yourself Accountable (Gently)

Some people like to tell their loved ones or an online community about their goals to help keep them accountable – they can keep those people updated on their progress.

While I kind of do that here on my blog a little bit, I prefer the visuals of habit tracking in my planners and reflecting regularly in my journals.

Whatever you do, choose something that feels supportive, not punishing if you don’t (or can’t) follow through.

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Reflection + Adjustment

Reflection is key, especially if that’s your main accountability protocol.

Even if it’s not, you should definitely ask yourself regularly what’s working with your progress, what’s not working, and how you can make things better or easier for yourself.

For myself, I check off my habit tracker daily. Weekly, I review & see how the week went. And then monthly, I review my weekly reflections & see what I need to adjust.

Your timeframes & means of reflection may be different, but it’s essential to do if you want to see continuous improvements in life.

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Real-Life Examples From My Current Goals

For nearly a year now, I’ve been focusing on a few things – my physical health, my writing & creativity, homeschooling, & my marriage. All of these things are major priorities for me for their own reasons, and that hasn’t changed.

For my health goals, I have a daily health log on Notion where I keep myself accountable for the food I eat throughout the days (I can be a bit of an “emo eater” sometimes). I keep a separate analog journal to log my weights & what exercise I do on a daily basis. Weekly, I review these logs & reflect on how I did in my analog journal. (And it’s been pretty neat seeing how my weights have changed over the course of months!)

I track what writing I get done daily in another analog notebook, and reflect on that each week as well. I never feel like I’m getting anything done, but my notebook reminds me that I do get stuff done & encourages me to keep at it!

We follow curricula for most of the girls’ homeschooling, and I’m constantly asking myself if we’re moving along at a reasonable pace. I adjust accordingly, and I keep track of progress on Notion, which makes it super easy when it comes to writing up quarterly reports!

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Closing

You certainly don’t need a perfect plan to start, you just need to know where you want to go and what first steps to take on the journey.

One honest step is more powerful than a polished vision board.

Treat the coming year as an experiment in becoming more you, & let’s see where it takes us!

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If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.

If you’re comfortable, share your word of the season or one priority in the comments — I love seeing how people design their lives differently!

And if you’d like to watch a video I enjoyed that kind of plays in to what this article was about, check this out 👇

Rock on! 🤘💚