Where I’m at #21

*Birthday girl with Hubby’s new bounce house & 6ft bouncy ball* 😆

“Where I’m at” posts are just monthly updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.

planner : I’ve been loosely planning (& executing!) weekly adventures with the family since the weather has finally broke!! So far we’ve explored the local locks on the Erie Canal & paid a visit to Niagara Falls. Annual tie dye party next month, & I’m planning on making some rainbow pasta for an Italian pasta salad, so that’ll be fun hehe.
self : I’ve been pretty angry at my diet, so I’ve been rebelling a bit, not gonna lie. I haven’t completely abandoned it, but I’m definitely choosing not to be so strict about it because it’s just infuriating LOL. I finally got back to my fulllar exercise routine this past month, & I’ve been consistent with it (though also not so strict – I’ll substitute workouts if I feel the need to, but I’m still doing shit!) I’m trying to be a bit less irritable, but…that can be a struggle lol.
marriage : Always improving!

mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : BooBoo had a fun birthday – hubby blew up the bounce house & 6ft ball to celebrate, & we’ve been enjoying both as much as possible since (I think Bubby wants to move in to the bounce house LOL)! Both girls are getting too big – it’s kind of nauseating LOL 💚
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going pretty well. Bubby’s definitely had a mental growth spurt – suddenly, she’s showing minimal signs of dyslexia (I’m still keeping an eye out though 👀). Looking to “finish up” the school year this month – I gotta make myself a full year SOP / cheat sheet so I don’t stress myself out every fuckin’ year lol.
zenBLITZ : Happy with things around the blog – the series I’m working through right now is honestly a little tedious to write sometimes, but enjoyable at the same time lol whatever sense that makes… And I started getting back to leather working, & fucking shit up LOL (lots of learning curves with that craft, omg!). Started playing with some designs that I’m considering adding to Red bubble sometime (we’ll see!)
homemaker : It’s all good. Whatever. 😂
(step) gramma : She’s doing great – almost got a “hi!” out of her!! 🤩
HSR (resale) : Yup, back on my radar a little. Only because I have no much shit sitting around that I apparently refuse to just donate lol. So, I started listing a little bit when I can (which is the tedious part). Maybe I’ll add a page on my blog here for the better listings, if I can find time to figure out the best way to do that!

Currently

eating – salt & carbs. And some healthy stuff too…!

drinking – lime water

watching – One Piece. (Hubby’s in love hehe)

reading – The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern – it’s gonna take me a while, but I’m enjoying the journey so far!

playing – Nothing, really. I quit The Sims Freeplay. It’s evil 🤣 (I’ll undoubtedly be back at it in the fall)

buying – Too much stupid shit I don’t need. Accidentally got Booboo a go kart because it was just too cheap. Lol 🤦‍♀️ (& she’s discovered the joy of drifting lol)

listening to – Lofi, ska, rockabilly…nothing in particular. Oh! Lindsey Stirling a bit again

celebrating – Father’s Day. Tie Dye Party. Summer!

pinning – leather working, journaling, self care, pretty lotus pics

planning – adventures with the fam

feeling – pretty decent 😉👍

Bored, Lonely, & Looking for Something to Be Pissed Off About

zen

Why You’re Always Irritated When Nothing Is Actually Wrong

What’s left when you’re not actively drowning in grief, trauma, anxiety, or depression?

You find yourself still restless & uncomfortable, scrolling endlessly or binge watching The Office for the 436th time just to avoid staring at the wall.

Cranky. Mopey. Mentally busy, but just spinning in circles.

Nothing is wrong, but nothing feels right…

So you start looking for things to be pissed off about (did you see whatever political dumpster fire is trending this week?!?)

The funny look you got from your friend seemed more judgy than it really was.

Maybe you have no patience for the driver in front of you still sitting at the green light (”are you blind?! GO!”)

I do this shit too.

If your life doesn’t have a real problem, your brain will find one (or make one up out of nowhere).

Manufactured Problems

Beyond myself, I’ve watched this pattern in my favorite people…

My high school sweetie was passionately into politics, long before smartphones were a thing. Which would be fine if it didn’t make him so irate that he’d hardly talk about anything else.

My ex fiance used to troll the fuck out of anybody he could in every MMORPG he ever played. Ever.

My “old friend” used to yell at the entirety of Twitter on a routine basis.

My husband seems to love doom scrolling Google articles in search of things to be pissed off about (Musk > Hochul > Trump).

Doom scrolling war, politics, outrage…

Ragebait posts, comment sections swirling with turmoil…

Getting emotionally invested in things you can’t (or won’t) do anything about.

You find yourself with an “I can’t believe this is happening!” energy but no outlet.

Taking things too personally when you misunderstand the intent behind a loved one’s innocent comment.

Beating yourself up for not doing the dishes.

Everything becomes a trigger.

If your life is calm, your brain will outsource chaos.

Maybe you borrow it from the internet, maybe from the people you love.

Just to feel something.

The Mechanism

You’ve found yourself in an undeniable loop.

Bored? You crave stimulation.

Restless? You have too much mental energy floating around, looking for something to cling to.

Lonely? You feel a lack of genuine connection to other people.

Catalysts for internal chaos.

You get irritable, searching for targets.

You overreact or fixate to things that don’t ultimately matter.

And then you feel even worse.

Rinse & repeat.

You’re not reacting to reality – you’re reacting to the absence of meaning.

Why Your Mind Starts Turning On You

Loneliness

You can definitely be literally surrounded by people, even people you love, & still feel lonely as fuck.

It’s not just a matter of being alone.

It’s a matter of real connection – people who you can process life with, & enjoy intelligent conversations with.

Having clubbin’ friends in your twenties or a breakfast club in retirement really doesn’t automatically create connection.

Chit chat doesn’t equate support.

Most people aren’t afraid of being alone. They’re afraid of being alone with themselves.

So they fill their lives with surface interactions.

And when you’re disconnected, your mind gets louder.

And less accurate.

Boredom & Restlessness

No goals, no intentional direction.

You tell yourself you’re “relaxing”. But if you’re honest… you’re mostly just killing time.

But time isn’t neutral – it can shape your mental state.

An idle mind doesn’t stay idle – it’s always searching.

The Dopamine Junk Food You Keep Eating

Boredom leads us to chasing easy stimulation in the form of consuming trite bullshit on the internet, or scrolling for quick lols.

Loneliness does the same.

You’re not actually looking for happiness – you’re looking for something to break the monotony.

But those short term dopamine hits don’t create lasting meaning in your life.

Here’s the Ugly Truth

Nothing catastrophic is happening, but your internal state is deteriorating.

Give your mind nothing meaningful to do, and it will create something meaningless to obsess over.

You don’t need a crisis to feel miserable.

This is all very human, but it’s not random.

Even if nothing is wrong, you may not be building anything that feels right.

Your environment may be fine. But maybe your inputs aren’t.

Escape Routes

When we get bored & lonely, we cope.

We distract ourselves, numb out from the dullness, fantasize about a “better” reality…

So you find ways to escape it all. Most of us do.

And that’s where things start to get interesting…

This is part of an ongoing series. Part two gets into escape routes, for better & worse – not in a “have you tried gratitude journaling” way. Subscribe if you want it.

And tell me: what does your brain fixate on when life gets too quiet? Comments are open.

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻

No Such Thing as Resolved Grief

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Why Grief Doesn’t End (And What That Actually Means)

The Part That Doesn’t Stay Gone

You’re fine for a while. Sometimes, for years.

You hadn’t thought about the thing at all. Or, if you have, you’ve viewed it with the wisdom only time can serve.

You thought you were “over it” – Time heals all wounds…right?

Then it sneaks up and kicks your knees out…

The Way Grief Really Moves

Grief isn’t linear – it’s cyclical.

You never really “get over it”.

It comes in waves throughout your life.

It doesn’t always make sense, but sometimes it does…

Times of stress can set your mind into a whirlwind.

Even if you can rationally understand what’s going on, often it just doesn’t make sense emotionally.

It never seems to fully end.

Maybe the problem isn’t that you haven’t resolved it…

maybe grief isn’t something that fully resolves.

You’re Grieving More Than You Realize

I took a class called “Loss, Grief, & Coping” a million years ago because I wanted to evaluate my own process after my mom passed away – I wanted to know if I “grieved appropriately” with as little support as I had.

I learned a lot.

One major realization was that grief doesn’t come just from someone you love dying…

It comes from a sense of loss in general.

That can mean losing a job or a home, a relationship or even a friendship ending, people walking out of your life without closure, losing versions of yourself, or even missed opportunities.

Lately I’m realizing I can even grieve things that never got the chance to happen.

And it sucks just as much.

When It Doesn’t Fade

Sometimes that loss, and the grief that follows, can create trauma.

Though, of course, sometimes trauma can create grief.

Trauma is, simply put, an event that overwhelmed you when it happened.

For me, it’s been caused by sudden loss, abandonment, & emotional intensity with no closure.

It created a sense of loss in itself – of safety, or innocence, or stability.

It creates internal shifts, not just haunting memories…

Where This Hit Me

The past year or so, I’ve been dealing with a lot of things from my past jumping out of the closets I’d stuffed them in.

It started when I was randomly reminded of an old friend… and somehow that turned into memories of when my mom died.

And then it just didn’t stop.

It just kept going – pulling up other losses, other moments, other people.

Things I hadn’t thought about in years.

And somewhere in the middle of that, this thought started to settle in:

everyone leaves me.

Not always in the same way.

Not always all at once.

But eventually… they’re gone.

And most of the time, there’s no real resolution.

I remember thinking “What the fuck is going on – Why is all of this coming on right now?!?”

And the only answer I could land on was this:

I was still grieving.

Not just one thing.

A lot of things.

And the weirdest part is… it doesn’t feel like it has much to do with now.

It feels older than that.

Like I’m not just reacting to what’s in front of me…

I’m reacting to everything that never got finished.

Like I’m trying to comfort past versions of myself that never really got the closure I needed.

But…why now?!?

There’s a Reason It Keeps Returning

For me, it was spurred by stress.

And our brains tend to follow pathways they’ve learned naturally in the past, for the sake of preparing for or avoiding shitty situations.

It’s not weakness, or regression, or failure.

It’s a survival mechanism.

A painful one, but…

The Truth We Avoid

Some things don’t get tied up neatly.

There’s no perfect closure. No clean ending. No moment where you can say, “ok, moving on now.”

And that’s a bitch to accept.

Because we’re taught that healing means resolution.

That if you do the work, feel your feelings, give it enough time… eventually it will stop hurting.

But a lot of things don’t work like that.

Some things stay.

Not as sharp. Not as constant.

But still there.

You don’t get over it.

You learn to live with it.

And not just once – but over and over again, in different ways, at different stages of your life.

It doesn’t necessarily get easier, but it does change.

It evolves with you.

And somewhere in that process, it starts to shape you.

The way you see people.

The way you love.

The way you hold onto things that matter.

Maybe even the way you create.

Not because it was “worth it.” Not because it needed to happen.

But because it became part of you.

And you learned how to carry it differently.

Some things don’t leave you empty.

They leave something behind.

Not closure, but pieces of what mattered.

And sometimes, that’s what you carry forward.

So maybe healing isn’t about finishing it at all.

Maybe the healing never quite ends.

And Then There’s This…

What about when nothing is actively wrong, and the past is quietly relaxing in the background, but…something still feels off.

When you’re still feeling restless, on edge, or empty…

we’ll get to that next week. 💚

It’s not random. And it’s not just you.

There’s a reason it still lives in you.

If this hit something you don’t usually talk about… share it with someone who might need it too.

Or just sit with it for a while.

Either way, you’re not the only one carrying this.

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻

Functional Depression & Anxiety: Why You Feel Off But Keep Going

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Something is off (but hard to explain)

You know the feeling when something just feels…off?

Not dramatic, not urgent, just…not right.

You can still function – show up, get things done, carry on with life.

But it all feels heavier than it should.

Or you feel disconnected from…everything.

Nobody else can tell anything’s “not right”.

You’re doing what ya gotta do. You’re “fine”.

But it takes more out of you than it should.

You just go through the motions & routines of each day, not fully present, not really absorbing the moments.

Days blur together. Memories don’t quite stick.

Then you’ll have a good day, or a better day, and you think everything’s ok. You breathe the fresh air, go for a walk, hold a genuinely content smile…

And then it drops again.

So you start to question yourself – what’s really going on here?

And the cycle continues.

You end up feeling restless but stuck. Tired, but wired. Numb but overwhelmed.

Life becomes about just getting through the day. Or the hour. Or the moment…

There’s a reason this feels this way

This isn’t random. This isn’t you failing at life.

I experience this in my own ways, and I’ve spent a long time trying to understand it.

Often, you’re “just” stressed the fuck out. And when you’re stressed the fuck out, your body releases a chemical called cortisol.

Cortisol is helpful in short bursts because it’s purpose is to protect you, but it’s not meant to stay elevated.

Sometimes your nervous system speeds up, causing restlessness & anxious energy.

Sometimes it slows down, causing a heavy & shut-down feeling.

One pushes, the other pulls back.

And they cycle. As much as they feel the need to.

Your mind can get to the point of prioritizing getting through the moment over thinking clearly – and survival over presence.

Relief Without Hype

You’re not broken – you’re overwhelmed.

Your brain is trying to protect you, not break you.

This is what many people experience as depression & anxiety. They’re two sides of the same coin in my experience – even when only one is more obvious, the other is lurking.

Not broken. Not failing.

Overwhelmed. Depleted. Stuck in a loop your brain learned.

Everyone experiences some version of this, to varying degrees – there’s a spectrum, just like anything in life. Nothing is ever truly black & white.

It becomes a problem when it starts interfering with your ability to live your life. But you don’t need to hit a breaking point to take it seriously.

Have compassion for yourself – Understanding can change how you see it; labeling it can soften it. When you can put a name to it, it starts to lose some of its power.

You don’t need to justify how you feel…

Patterns like this don’t come out of nowhere – your mind learned them for a reason, even if you can’t fully see why yet.

Some things stay with you—experiences, stress, grief.

Even when they fade into the background, they don’t disappear.

And sooner or later, they surface.

Not randomly. Not out of nowhere.

There’s always a reason.

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone – and you’re not broken.

It makes sense.

Stick around.

We’re going to keep making sense of it – one layer at a time.

If this hit something for you, I’d love to hear – what part of this felt the most familiar?

If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share, and subscribe if you’re new.

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻

Where I’m At #20

Where I'm At

*I couldn’t choose just one main pic* *for the month – You see why* ☺

“Where I’m at” posts are just monthly updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.

planner : I still just refuse to plan any gardening, or travel, or much of anything. I guess I’m just in that season of my life right now?
self : Stress > shoveling salty carbs in my face > 😭. I’m working on it…
marriage : Stress, but working through it – hubby’s ex wife decided to try to stir up some shit. She’s kind of a crazy asshole. We’ll survive lol
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : Two injuries to report this month LOL UGH. Booboo hurt herself pretty bad, but she healed well. And then she accidentally bashed Bubby in the bridge of the nose with a foam covered plastic baseball bat full force, so now she’s probably gonna have a scar (I guess that’s karma for Booboo’s scar from Bubs throwing her tablet at her?) THESE KIDS, MAN – OMFG!!! 😅
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well – I actually started Bubby in some Kindergarten classes, which she’s super excited about! I’m excited to take a week off for Booboo’s birthday! 😆(Since we school year round, we take an extended break around Xmas / Bubby’s bday, & then a short one for Booboo’s bday.) Booboo actually told me she’s disappointed to have a week off cuz she “loves school”, which makes me happy 😊
zenBLITZ : I’ve been working on a lot of posts lately, & having fun interacting with other writers when I have time 💚 And I finally started dipping my toes back in the waters of leatherworking! A little poetry here & there, and some fun over on Substack.
homemaker : 🤮😅🤣
(step) gramma : Oh, this kid is about to be killing me – she’ll be crawling before I know it! I never used a play pen with my own kids, so I’m sure I won’t be using one with her – I’ll just have to watch her like a hawk pretty soon here. She ate a whole packet of blueberry banana baby food the last time she was over – I couldn’t believe it! And then almost a whole bottle just a couple hours later 😳 I gotta come up with something special to do with her for my step daughter’s first Mother’s Day as a mom ☺️

Currently

eating – Salty carbs 😅

drinking – Water, mostly

watching – Lincoln Lawyer, The Traitors, The Floor

reading – “Aug 9 – Fog” by Kathryn Scanlan – I like it so far, but I can’t say I quite love it heh

playing – Sims Freeplay, Coin Master, Magic Sort

buying – birthday gifts for Booboo

listening to – SKA ☺️💚

celebrating – Booboo’s birthday, Mother’s Day soon

pinning – poetry, funny shit, self care, zines, sewing

planning – Booboo’s bday, Mother’s Day gift

feeling – Drained. And fat. 😅😭💚

If You Feel Stuck in Life, Start Here…

zen

You’ve Probably Tried This Already

I’ve spent an awful lot of time consuming “self-help” information throughout my life.

I even jumped headfirst into every psych-related class I could find the first time I went to college, and I loved every second of it.

One of my favorite books at the time was Bus 9 to Paradise (which is basically some guy’s gratitude journal).

A lot of this stuff is interesting.

But a lot of it ultimately feels like bullshit.

Am I wrong?

The Loop (and Why It Doesn’t Break)

So, a lot of people do this.

You read, you experiment, you feel no different. And the cycle continues.

You end up feeling run down, pissed off, depressed, anxious, hedonistic… And then you feel pretty good, confident, content… And then… the cycle continues.

We don’t need more noise – we need direction.

What We’re Actually Doing Here

After my regularly scheduled “Where I’m At” post next week, I’m going to start digging into this.

Not surface-level fixes. Not pretty routines.

The real stuff.

We’re going to look at the darker corners – depression, anxiety, grief, trauma – and the ways we cope with them (not all helpful, not all harmless).

From having tea (or a beer) with your shadows & demons, to things like mindful (Epicurean) hedonism and tantric philosophy…

This is about figuring out what actually helps – and what just keeps you stuck.

I promise it’ll be an interesting journey!

Start Here

If you feel stuck, stick around – I have a lot of thoughts 😜

Pick a starting point. Don’t stay stuck.

If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻

How I Use AI as a Tool (Not a Crutch)

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So… AI Is Everywhere Now

Everyone uses AI these days – even if they don’t realize it. To some degree, it’s baked into everything, including our search bars.

I remember having to get up to change the channel on the TV… and adjusting the tin foil on the antenna.

Now the TV tells me what I should watch – and gets cranky when it has to fight the invisible airwaves of WiFi to gain priority over my kids playing Roblox on their tablets.

Some people love it. Some people hate it. Just like anything else.

Doesn’t matter – it’s not going anywhere.

May as well make use of it…

The Real Problems with AI

AI has issues. Real ones.

Environmental cost. Privacy concerns. Job disruption. Hallucinations.

It can absolutely feed into antisocial behavior – why ask people for advice when a bot is fast, available, and (sometimes) more helpful?

(Still… go talk to your people. Even the mildly useless ones. This is your sign to schedule a coffee date.)

It can make you lazy if you let it. But so could TV, and we survived that era (sort of).

There are real concerns about deepfakes, cybersecurity, and where all of this could lead long-term.

But… like anything powerful, it cuts both ways.

Where AI Actually Helps

It can save a lot of time and money. Especially for creators – having an “assistant” that helps you think, organize, and refine ideas is huge.

It can support creativity. When I was learning leatherworking, I asked it a million questions after doing my own research and experimentation. It didn’t just tell me what I was doing wrong, it helped me understand why on a deeper level.

It can act as a support tool for mental health – not a replacement for therapy, but something to help you process between sessions. No burnout, no bias, just space to think.

It’s already being used in professional settings – medical, legal, and beyond. Ideally with actual human oversight (please let there be oversight).

And honestly? It can just… explain things better sometimes. More patience, more clarity.

Used well, it’s not a crutch – it’s leverage.

The AI Tools I Actually Use

ChatGPT – Yep. I get the criticisms, and they’re fair. But I don’t pay for it, I don’t overshare, and it works well for what I need. So I use it.

Claude – I’ve been experimenting with it more lately. Different feel, interesting responses. Still exploring.

Rosebud – A reflection app powered by AI. I’ve used it on and off for over a year. It’s helpful but it gets repetitive, so I started building my own version elsewhere.

Perplexity – My go-to for quick, concise answers. Especially more current or factual stuff.

Gemini – Hard to avoid if you use Google. I mostly like it for image generation – it fits my style better than most.

NotebookLM – Very interested in this one. The ability to “talk to” your own information is incredibly useful, especially for things like manuals or research.

Copilot – It’s fine. I mostly use it for image generation options at this point.

How I Actually Use AI (Day-to-Day)

AI enhances what I do – it doesn’t replace it.

It isn’t something to rely on – it’s something to work with.

For me, it’s a tool. And tools are only as good as the person using them.

Learning

At one point, I had ChatGPT help me build a combined philosophy & psychology curriculum. We set parameters, and it mapped out topics, readings, and writing prompts. Honestly, it was a lot of fun.

Homeschooling

I don’t rely on it heavily, but it’s great for brainstorming unit studies and lesson ideas tailored to my kids’ interests and ages.

Reflection

I mentioned experimenting beyond Rosebud – building my own reflection systems using different bots. Still early, but promising. Might turn it into a post (or even an app… someday, maybe 😆).

Blogging

This is where it really shines for me.

I keep a Notion database full of topic ideas, and those pages can get messy fast. When they do, I’ll drop everything into ChatGPT and have it ask me clarifying questions, then organize it into a clean outline (using my actual notes & ideas) that I can actually work with.

After writing, I’ll have it review for clarity, grammar, and flow – not to rewrite, just to point things out.

Then I use it for titles, SEO ideas, social captions, and image brainstorming.

That’s it.

I ignore anything I disagree with. It knows that.

And it saves me hours of overthinking.

Your Move

AI isn’t going anywhere.

So the real question is –

are you going to let it make you passive…

or are you going to use it to become sharper, faster, and more intentional?

Your move.

What do you actually use AI for? I’d love to hear where you stand.

If you liked this post, feel free to like, share, & subscribe if you’re new 💚

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻

Capacities Finally Clicked for Me (Here’s What I Was Doing Wrong)

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Why Capacities Didn’t Click (At First)

I heard about Capacities a year or so ago – everyone on YouTube seemed to be comparing it to Notion and Obsidian.

I love Notion. Obsidian, honestly, looks like a clusterfuck waiting to happen with the way my brain works.

I liked the idea of it, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to make it work effectively. Until one day…

What Capacities Actually Is (Without the Buzzwords)

So, Capacities is a “PKM” (”personal knowledge management”) platform, available on the web & as an app.

What makes it different from most PKM platforms is that it uses “objects” in place of folder or topic hierarchies, which helps to tie things together more easily. They do offer an idea map like Obsidian does, which I think looks really cool, but I haven’t found a practical use for it yet 😅

It’s been available for public use for over 3 years now, and they’re always trying to make it more intuitive. They, of course, have AI integrated, but I don’t know anything about it (I think it requires a paid plan, but I’m not sure).

What Finally Made It Work for Me

I was watching a video on YouTube about using Apple Notes for daily logging, & it made something click in my head about how to use Capacities…

You don’t start with tags & pages, you build them off your daily notes!

The base of Capacities seems to be their “daily note”, which you can customize with a template if you’d like.

So, I started doing “interstitial journaling” (a Bullet Journal term) in my daily notes, and added pages & tags as I saw fit.

Those tags & pages become their own pages, where every related note is already connected and visible – no copying, no organizing gymnastics. (I must point out, though – “pages” have static space for notes to add to the “object”, while “tags” don’t. Just something to bear in mind)

For things like PKM, I feel like Capacities is much more flawless than Notion. It almost feels less organized – but it isn’t. It’s just organized in a way that actually matches how many peoples’ brains work.

I’ll obviously still use Notion for almost everything, but I’ve been enjoying playing with Capacities for about a month now. I like that I have pages for restaurants (so I know what to order next time I go there), shopping (so I know where to find unique items I’ve discovered), & I even have a “lawyer” page to keep track of some current bullshit (lol 😭) – being able to see everything connected in one place, without copying & pasting or forcing it into a system, is honestly kind of a relief.

Final Thoughts (Is It Worth It?)

Now that I actually understand how to use it, I really like Capacities. It’s simple, intuitive, and unexpectedly kind of fun.

If you’ve tried it and bounced off, try giving it another shot – I’d love to hear how you use it!

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻

I Started a Substack: (Almost) Daily Thoughts, Real Life, No Filter

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Just about every morning, I spend a few minutes writing in my journal.

Nothing fancy – just thoughts I want to explore more when I have the time. Sometimes it’s a quote. Sometimes it’s a random idea. Sometimes it’s something I’m actively working through in my own life.

Lately, I started thinking… what if I shared some of it?

So I did.

I’ve started posting these “Thinking On Paper” entries over on Substack – raw, real, and written as they come. No overthinking. No polishing. Just honest thoughts, as they happen.

If that sounds like your kind of thing, you can check it out here: 👉 Adeline on Substack

It’s free to subscribe, and I’d love to hear your thoughts if something resonates.

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻

Where I’m at #19

Where I'm At

*Costumes for our Asian*–*themed dinner party* 😆

“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.

planner : Yeahhh. Mostly planning to not lose my shit as warmer weather approaches & life gets busy. 🤪 I gotta figure out a tea party for April, & then BooBoo’s birthday is at the beginning of May (she wants to invite her cute gymnastics coach, which I’m almost not opposed to LOL). And we’re late on bowling.
self (body & mind) : Well, the household got a second (though less intense) round of sickness, so…that sucked. Still working on getting back into my diet & exercise routines. Had my annual PCP visit, & she commended me on my 20lb weight loss since last year, so that’s cool hehe. My mind’s been a bit chaotic, but… I’m trying. I realized the other day that I’ve been confusing the word nihilism with hedonism (I knew nihilism wasn’t the right word, I just couldn’t think of the right one lol), so now I’m doing some research & formulating a possible future blog post lol – that might be fun 😆
marriage : Doing pretty good. We’re both sick of being sick. We’ve been enjoying Panera dates lately hehe 😋 Green Goddess salad & pomegranate hibiscus tea are personal faves right now!

mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good. I actually am taking BooBoo out alone for a mini date today, to get her hair trimmed & I think she wants to go to Five Below & then get a Happy Meal. We’ll see lol. These kids are obsessed with Roblox (I would be too if I were their age lol) & roller skating around the house. We’ve been having fun playing with dolls & makeup – I taught them how to put lipstick kisses on paper hehe. Oh, BooBoo’s got glasses now; she says they make her smart lol 😊

homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well. Bubby’s starting to get better with writing & letter recognition, & she can even “sight read” some words, which is great! BooBoo hates reading for no apparent reason, but her reading comprehension is definitely improving!
zenBLITZ : I’ve gotten SO behind on my posts, UGH! I haven’t had the time or energy to create much of anything lately, to be honest. Blargh. I’ll get back ahead of things pretty soon here. I hope.
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, travel) : Yup. It’s fine. Whatever. 😂
(step) gramma : Chiquita Banana’s doing great! She’s such a happy, inquisitive little booger – it’s always a pleasure to see babies evolve, especially when you’re not seeing it all day every day because it’s easier to acknowledge from some perspective. She’s got 2 teeth now, she stands beautifully with minimal assistance, and she still loves the gingerbread man toy I got for her lol. She gets elated to see her Aunties BooBoo & Bubby, and they both love playing with her & feeding her. Too cute.

Currently

eating – Blueberry yogurt, at the moment lol. It’s officially salad season, now that it’s spring – so I think mushroom salad is in the plan for the week (pan fried mushrooms with a homemade balsamic vinaigrette)

drinking – Lotsa lime water. I quit drinking coffee & wine when I was sick, so now when I do drink them, they actually do their jobs LOL (kinda)

watching – Doom Patrol. Masked Singer. Suddenly Amish. I dunno…I can’t hardly pay attention to TV (so movies are definitely not my thing) – I always find myself too tired to be able to focus on shows. OH! The Scrubs reboot has really been rocking my socks though!! 🤩

reading – When You Read This by Mary Adkins – very interesting format, kind of enjoyable story so far

playing – The Sims Freeplay, mostly. I don’t know why I get so sucked in to this game, but it’s been an obsession on & off for like 15 years lol

buying – Too much, apparently. Well…I’ve behaved fairly well. Hubby, on the other hand, insisted we get a full size bounce house – he’s always wanted one, & we can afford to get it so…fuck it lol. He’s also trying to buy back “the Roger Rabbit car” he tried to buy when we were first together, but his friend ended up buying it (it’s a Bugatti-style golf cart that was actually used in the movie “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”) Funny.

listening to – The Interrupters, at the moment

celebrating – SPRING! I can’t wait to be able to open & doors & windows & get some fresh air in the house, OMFG

pinning – leatherworking, sewing, “free spirit” images, journaling, & crochet

planning – Tea Party, BooBoo Bday party, bowling, sanity…

feeling – Ehhh. Hangin’ in there 😆