Choosing a Different Path

The Turning Point Between Awareness and Action

Image created with ChatGPT

The past several weeks, Iโ€™ve been naming a bunch of the harder things we sometimes have to deal with :

If You Feel Stuck in Life, Start Hereโ€ฆ

Functional Depression & Anxiety: Why You Feel Off But Keep Going

No Such Thing as Resolved Grief

Bored, Lonely, & Looking for Something to Be Pissed Off About

How We Cope (And Sometimes Make It Worse)

All our shadows & demons.

We see each other. Whatever we’re going through at any point in time, we’re really not alone in dealing with it.

Now that the light has been castโ€ฆ


Where Do We Go From Here?

Awareness is just the beginning.

My next series of posts will explore various means to enjoy the journey without all the typical fluffy self-help bullshit.

Changing the patterns a bit so that we donโ€™t get stuck in them.

Reminding the demons whoโ€™s boss.


Life is About the Choices We Make

Itโ€™s good to acknowledge your shadows, whatever may plague you. But what to do with that knowledge?

Itโ€™s good to have some direction, however imperfect & fluid that direction may be.

We can choose to be stuck in unhelpful patterns, ideas, ways of thinking, ways of doing things.

We can also choose our own adventure.

โ€œLife without design is erratic.โ€ – Seneca

A very smart guy I once knew & will always adore posted this on Facebook a million years ago, & I wrote it down because it really hit me :

โ€œWe, as people, need to be who we are, not what we have been made into. We need to open our eyes and realize where we are and where we should be. Destructive behaviors lead to self destruction and not enlightenment. Life is about the choices we makeโ€ฆgood, bad or indifferent. We have the power to change anything.โ€

Personally, that blurb hit me right in my indifference, but it speaks to a lot of things we all deal with.

โ€œLife is about the choices we makeโ€, and the perspectives we choose to take.


Stop Feeding the Demons

A pot of tea when they come to visit isnโ€™t indulgentโ€ฆitโ€™s essential.

But at some point, you have to walk away from the table & get on with life.

There are no easy answers. Really, there are no concrete answers.

But ideas to contemplate.

All of the pathways in the brain are like trails in the woods.

If you follow the same trail constantly, the path stays clear & easy to follow, right?

But if the trail gets neglected, it becomes overgrown. Itโ€™s still there, but harder to find.

Thatโ€™s how our minds work, in regards to a lot of things – memories, lessons, ideas, emotions, and so on. Helpful or painful.

Sometimes we find ourselves on a long neglected trail,

and we have to decide whether or not itโ€™s worth it to clear the path,

and if soโ€ฆwhether or not itโ€™s worth it to continue clearing that path.

That โ€œvery smart guy I once knew & will always adoreโ€? Every pathway he ever made got overgrown for years – I was quite busy following other trails.

And while I still am quite busy, Iโ€™ve found myself on his trail quite a bit since it was illuminated a couple years ago.

Is it foolish to meander that trail like I do? I donโ€™t think so. Iโ€™m very consciously on it in search of lessons. And Iโ€™ve learned a lot, and grown a lot, in the clearing.

The point is that not every path is important.

Emotions arise, exist, and pass.

Stories & rumination feed emotions – Clearing a trail that may be better off overgrown.

Practicing mindfulness is a means of choosing which trails to run down, and which to turn back from.


Whose Trail Are You Even On?

Are you following your own paths, or a map you knew would be easy to follow?

You have to get honest about who you are and what you actually want out of your life – if anyone does it for you, youโ€™re not going to enjoy the outcome. Or the journey.

You can be labeled (or label yourself) as an addict, a depressive, an angry person, or whatever – labels can explain challenges we all face without becoming excuses.

Be mindful of your limitations, but mindful of your excuses just the same.


Gold In The Cracks

The goal is to learn how to grow from it.

How to become whole amidst it.

Integrating it instead of chasing the illusion of โ€œperfectionโ€. Or โ€œnormalโ€.

Taking the broken pieces & kintsugi-ing them back together – proudly displaying the gold in the cracks.


Build Your Own Damn Meaning

The idea that “if you can find meaning in life, youโ€™ll be happy” is vague & unhelpful.

Build your own damn meaning. Now, thatโ€™s agency at its finest.

Thatโ€™s human kintsugi.

Often, meaning can be found in helping others in some way,

and in the process you can pry yourself out of your own head.

Relationships matter, even if theyโ€™re minor or fleeting.

And often, if you look hard enough,

meaning can be found in all the little experiences you share with others.

Not in the hedonic pleasure of all the escape routes Iโ€™ve mentioned (though they can be a welcome temporary relief),

but in the eudaimonic, fulfilling sense of making the world a better place, even if ever so slightly.

Anger, sadness, anxietyโ€ฆall those things can be a signal for action, if you let them.

Get out of the soul sucking relationship. Call the friend you havenโ€™t talked to in decades. Fight against the injustices in the world.

Build your own damn meaning.


Blazing New Trails

This isnโ€™t about hustle culture or toxic positivity.

This isnโ€™t about shaming your demons, escape routes, or pain points.

This is about growth through experimentation, curiosity, & gentle iteration.

There are practices that help us map a different path in the woods.

Our own paths.

The following posts are the practices that have helped me create a more enjoyable trail.

Some of them may seem like โ€œfluffyโ€ bullshit, but they work for me.

No one can tell you what path to check out, because not everything works for everyone.

But everythingโ€™s worth a shot, eh? Challenge yourself to try something new, even if it sounds silly.


Awareness is just the beginning – now we learn how to blaze trails.

If you’re up for it: pick one trail – old or new – and just notice where it leads this week. No pressure to fix anything. Just notice.

And if you want to follow along as I share my experiences with some of these ‘fluffy bullshit’ practices, hit subscribe – the next few posts are going to get weird, and I’d love the company.

Stay real. Live vibrantly. And rock the fuck on. ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿป

If You Feel Stuck in Life, Start Hereโ€ฆ

Image created with Gemini

Youโ€™ve Probably Tried This Already

Iโ€™ve spent an awful lot of time consuming โ€œself-helpโ€ information throughout my life.

I even jumped headfirst into every psych-related class I could find the first time I went to college, and I loved every second of it.

One of my favorite books at the time was Bus 9 to Paradise (which is basically some guyโ€™s gratitude journal).

A lot of this stuff is interesting.

But a lot of it ultimately feels like bullshit.

Am I wrong?

The Loop (and Why It Doesnโ€™t Break)

So, a lot of people do this.

You read, you experiment, you feel no different. And the cycle continues.

You end up feeling run down, pissed off, depressed, anxious, hedonisticโ€ฆ And then you feel pretty good, confident, contentโ€ฆ And thenโ€ฆ the cycle continues.

We donโ€™t need more noise – we need direction.

What Weโ€™re Actually Doing Here

After my regularly scheduled โ€œWhere Iโ€™m Atโ€ post next week, Iโ€™m going to start digging into this.

Not surface-level fixes. Not pretty routines.

The real stuff.

Weโ€™re going to look at the darker corners – depression, anxiety, grief, trauma – and the ways we cope with them (not all helpful, not all harmless).

From having tea (or a beer) with your shadows & demons, to things like mindful (Epicurean) hedonism and tantric philosophyโ€ฆ

This is about figuring out what actually helps – and what just keeps you stuck.

I promise itโ€™ll be an interesting journey!

Start Here

If you feel stuck, stick around – I have a lot of thoughts ๐Ÿ˜œ

Pick a starting point. Donโ€™t stay stuck.


If you liked this post, please give it a โ€œlikeโ€, share it with friends, and subscribe if youโ€™re new.

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿป