Choosing a Different Path

The Turning Point Between Awareness and Action

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The past several weeks, Iโ€™ve been naming a bunch of the harder things we sometimes have to deal with :

If You Feel Stuck in Life, Start Hereโ€ฆ

Functional Depression & Anxiety: Why You Feel Off But Keep Going

No Such Thing as Resolved Grief

Bored, Lonely, & Looking for Something to Be Pissed Off About

How We Cope (And Sometimes Make It Worse)

All our shadows & demons.

We see each other. Whatever we’re going through at any point in time, we’re really not alone in dealing with it.

Now that the light has been castโ€ฆ


Where Do We Go From Here?

Awareness is just the beginning.

My next series of posts will explore various means to enjoy the journey without all the typical fluffy self-help bullshit.

Changing the patterns a bit so that we donโ€™t get stuck in them.

Reminding the demons whoโ€™s boss.


Life is About the Choices We Make

Itโ€™s good to acknowledge your shadows, whatever may plague you. But what to do with that knowledge?

Itโ€™s good to have some direction, however imperfect & fluid that direction may be.

We can choose to be stuck in unhelpful patterns, ideas, ways of thinking, ways of doing things.

We can also choose our own adventure.

โ€œLife without design is erratic.โ€ – Seneca

A very smart guy I once knew & will always adore posted this on Facebook a million years ago, & I wrote it down because it really hit me :

โ€œWe, as people, need to be who we are, not what we have been made into. We need to open our eyes and realize where we are and where we should be. Destructive behaviors lead to self destruction and not enlightenment. Life is about the choices we makeโ€ฆgood, bad or indifferent. We have the power to change anything.โ€

Personally, that blurb hit me right in my indifference, but it speaks to a lot of things we all deal with.

โ€œLife is about the choices we makeโ€, and the perspectives we choose to take.


Stop Feeding the Demons

A pot of tea when they come to visit isnโ€™t indulgentโ€ฆitโ€™s essential.

But at some point, you have to walk away from the table & get on with life.

There are no easy answers. Really, there are no concrete answers.

But ideas to contemplate.

All of the pathways in the brain are like trails in the woods.

If you follow the same trail constantly, the path stays clear & easy to follow, right?

But if the trail gets neglected, it becomes overgrown. Itโ€™s still there, but harder to find.

Thatโ€™s how our minds work, in regards to a lot of things – memories, lessons, ideas, emotions, and so on. Helpful or painful.

Sometimes we find ourselves on a long neglected trail,

and we have to decide whether or not itโ€™s worth it to clear the path,

and if soโ€ฆwhether or not itโ€™s worth it to continue clearing that path.

That โ€œvery smart guy I once knew & will always adoreโ€? Every pathway he ever made got overgrown for years – I was quite busy following other trails.

And while I still am quite busy, Iโ€™ve found myself on his trail quite a bit since it was illuminated a couple years ago.

Is it foolish to meander that trail like I do? I donโ€™t think so. Iโ€™m very consciously on it in search of lessons. And Iโ€™ve learned a lot, and grown a lot, in the clearing.

The point is that not every path is important.

Emotions arise, exist, and pass.

Stories & rumination feed emotions – Clearing a trail that may be better off overgrown.

Practicing mindfulness is a means of choosing which trails to run down, and which to turn back from.


Whose Trail Are You Even On?

Are you following your own paths, or a map you knew would be easy to follow?

You have to get honest about who you are and what you actually want out of your life – if anyone does it for you, youโ€™re not going to enjoy the outcome. Or the journey.

You can be labeled (or label yourself) as an addict, a depressive, an angry person, or whatever – labels can explain challenges we all face without becoming excuses.

Be mindful of your limitations, but mindful of your excuses just the same.


Gold In The Cracks

The goal is to learn how to grow from it.

How to become whole amidst it.

Integrating it instead of chasing the illusion of โ€œperfectionโ€. Or โ€œnormalโ€.

Taking the broken pieces & kintsugi-ing them back together – proudly displaying the gold in the cracks.


Build Your Own Damn Meaning

The idea that “if you can find meaning in life, youโ€™ll be happy” is vague & unhelpful.

Build your own damn meaning. Now, thatโ€™s agency at its finest.

Thatโ€™s human kintsugi.

Often, meaning can be found in helping others in some way,

and in the process you can pry yourself out of your own head.

Relationships matter, even if theyโ€™re minor or fleeting.

And often, if you look hard enough,

meaning can be found in all the little experiences you share with others.

Not in the hedonic pleasure of all the escape routes Iโ€™ve mentioned (though they can be a welcome temporary relief),

but in the eudaimonic, fulfilling sense of making the world a better place, even if ever so slightly.

Anger, sadness, anxietyโ€ฆall those things can be a signal for action, if you let them.

Get out of the soul sucking relationship. Call the friend you havenโ€™t talked to in decades. Fight against the injustices in the world.

Build your own damn meaning.


Blazing New Trails

This isnโ€™t about hustle culture or toxic positivity.

This isnโ€™t about shaming your demons, escape routes, or pain points.

This is about growth through experimentation, curiosity, & gentle iteration.

There are practices that help us map a different path in the woods.

Our own paths.

The following posts are the practices that have helped me create a more enjoyable trail.

Some of them may seem like โ€œfluffyโ€ bullshit, but they work for me.

No one can tell you what path to check out, because not everything works for everyone.

But everythingโ€™s worth a shot, eh? Challenge yourself to try something new, even if it sounds silly.


Awareness is just the beginning – now we learn how to blaze trails.

If you’re up for it: pick one trail – old or new – and just notice where it leads this week. No pressure to fix anything. Just notice.

And if you want to follow along as I share my experiences with some of these ‘fluffy bullshit’ practices, hit subscribe – the next few posts are going to get weird, and I’d love the company.

Stay real. Live vibrantly. And rock the fuck on. ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿป

This Is Who I Am Now – Owning Every Version of Myself

Top = 2025, Bottom = 2010

I recently came across a selfie from about 15 years ago โ€” same hairstyle, same vibe as a selfie I took this summer. Around the same time, I heard the phrase โ€œthis is who I am now.โ€ And it got me thinking – who the fuck am I now? Turns out, Iโ€™m a lot of thingsโ€ฆ..


I am punk rock.

I do things my way, but humbly, without arrogance. I try not to judge, I try to approach difficult situations with loving kindness, and I revel in finding calm amidst chaos.

I am a wife.

I married the single coolest and most loving human being I’ve ever met, and we’ve been together for 8 years now. Through thick & thin. We’ve literally jumped through hell for each other.

I am a mom.

Of 2 beautiful, unique, intelligent, loving, creative, independent as hell little girls. They love climbing rocks, foraging for snacks in the yard, and catching toads all while wearing princess dresses & sparkly pink nail polish.

I am a homeschooler.

I love being able to cuddle my kids while helping them learn. I love figuring out their unique nuances, and interests, and seeing where these things take us on a daily basis. And I love creating space for adventures in our everyday life, to show them there’s always lessons to learn wherever you’re willing to look.

I am a creator.

A writer, a crocheter, a digital designer. A โ€œJill of many tradesโ€. I just wish I could find time to make money off this shit lol!

I am the household manager.

I handle meal planning, groceries, budgeting, bills, cleaning, travel plans, party plansโ€ฆjust about everything.

I am a โ€œchaos witchโ€.

I mostly practice hearthcraft, and protection & healing magick. My practice isโ€ฆvery much on the back burner to everything else in my life, but I do sneak in little bits of magick here & there.

I was a reseller for a few years.

I enjoyed the whole process, and I enjoyed providing fun things to people who got excited over the often silly things I’d offered. I just didn’t have the time or space to let it grow, and that’s fine.

I was a student a couple times.

I’ve studied psychology, neurology, business, and education. I even tutored psychology one semester (and my student did awesome!), and I was a โ€œpeer advisorโ€ a couple times! Never followed through for a degree though, and that’s fine.

I was a patient care assistant in an emergency department for a bit.

I loved the autonomy, the diversity of situations, and the sheer volume of unique patient interactions. And the patients & visitors loved meโ€ฆbecause I’m patient, smart, & I genuinely give a fuck. I just couldn’t stand 96% of my coworkers, and that’s fine.

I’ve been a caregiver for most of my life.

For grandparents, parents, friends, and loved ones; throughout illnesses, injuries, and psychological chaos. It’s part of how I was raised, and part of just who the fuck I am.


So thatโ€™s me โ€” messy, evolving, and unapologetically real.

Now itโ€™s your turn: Who the fuck are you today? Drop a comment or share this post with someone finding themselves again.

If my words made you smile, nod, or roll your eyes in recognition โ€” hit โ€œlike,โ€ share it, or subscribe for more real talk on life, growth, and chaos.

Keep it raw, keep it real. And rock the fuck on. ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿ’š

Where I’m At #5

โ€œWhere Iโ€™m atโ€ posts are just random updates about whatโ€™s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals Iโ€™m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what Iโ€™m actively working on improving. Leave a comment & give me ideas for things youโ€™d like to see me write individual posts about!

  • planner : I have a lot of projects planned for February! Iโ€™m finishing up my digital audit as Iโ€™m writing this, which is always quite a relief – I must have deleted a zillion things I didnโ€™t even know I had! I still have to audit 10 years of Google Photos, but thatโ€™s another project all its own. (ETA : I realized I should add auditing my PKM to the list too, because the chaos Iโ€™ve created there is stressing me out – โ€œactionability โ€ฆ only save things that contribute to current projects & areas โ€ฆ itโ€™s not a museum of knowledge if you donโ€™t absorb or utilize the information!โ€) Next monthโ€™s projects include a โ€œWhat a Crock-Potluck Revival Partyโ€ (we havenโ€™t had a crockpot party in a while, so I thought weโ€™d get back on that wagon), I want to make an โ€œOh Shit!โ€ notebook (in case I get hit by a dump truck & my husband needs to know things he doesnโ€™t normally care about), as well as planning for fun stuff in warmer weather (travel, tattoos, concerts, etc)
  • self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Forever working on my eating habits – I’ve been focusing on eating more consistently throughout the day because I have a bad habit of barely eating until dinnertime, and then going a little too crazy (cuz I love my dinner recipes! ๐Ÿ˜‹) I’ve been sleeping kind of crappy because I really like my quiet time in the mornings, and I should probably get back to my exercise routine, butโ€ฆnot right now ๐Ÿ˜† My brain’s been doing pretty good lol – Lots of fun ideas abound, feeling pretty chill (albeit a little cabin fever), and learning all kinds of interesting things about blogging!
  • marriage (relationship & libido) : Not doing too bad here, actually! Humor keeps things interesting lol
  • mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are doing pretty good, though I’m sure they can’t wait til it’s warm enough to go outside every day! They’ve been keeping busy drawing, painting, & playing with their dolls mostly. And enjoying a little bit of Legs Marvel Superheroes on Xbox hehe
  • teacher (K & PK) : They’ve been doing really well with school, though it was hard getting back into the rhythm after the holidays. BooBoo surprises us (& herself!) every day with how well she can read already, and Bubby is getting really good at tracing lines
  • zB : Having a lot of fun (& driving myself absolutely crazy!) trying to choose which direction to go with everything related to the blog & products to create & everything. I know I’m overcomplicating everything though lol! I’ve been learning a lot about SEO, optimization tools (like Buffer for automating social media posts), and everything in between. (My brain hurts. ๐Ÿคช)
  • homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Everything’s fine & dandy here! I need to rebalance our general finances, which I keep putting off. Been maintaining the cleaning, but not really making any progress (no time!) And I’m looking forward to travel & garden planning soon!

Currently

eating : crockpot dinners

drinking : hot lime water, & hot grapefruit water (way better than lemon water!)

watching : Hubby keeps trying to make me watch movies. I don’t generally have the attention span for movies. Blink Twice was pretty good. Back to Action was pretty terrible. The show Younger hasn’t been too bad. And surprisingly, the series Maxton Hall has been pretty interesting. And Ripley, omg, that was actually pretty good lol!

reading – Nothing. I haven’t really had much interest in any particular books lately. But I’ve kept up with my Daily Stoic Journal every day!

playing : Board games with the girls, especially Candy Land hehe โ˜บ๏ธ

buying : Not much. Went a little crazy on Temu because I really needed a new winter coat. I also ended up with a couple gifts for hubby, gloves, some new eyebrow rings, and a bunch of other things I’ll be surprised to see when they come ๐Ÿ˜…

listening to : My โ€œTunesโ€ playlist on YouTube – lots of Green Day & Foxboro Hot Tubs, Reverend Horton Heat, & โ€œWish I Knew Youโ€ by the Revivalists (me & hubby’s dating anthem hehe)

celebrating : Midwinter & Valentine’s Day

pinning : wallpapers, self care, Green Day

planning – projects, a party, goals

feeling – generally good, but a bit restless!

Where are you at? Let me know in the comments below!! ๐Ÿ˜€

Year End Reflection : 12 Days of Questions to Connect With Your True Self

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They say that โ€œhindsight is 20-20โ€, suggesting that you learn the most from reflection on your past experiences. In this weekโ€™s post, Iโ€™m encouraging you to review your calendar, social media posts, journal entries, whatever you can use to gain some insight into the past year so that you can go into the next with clarity & direction. I insist you take your time journaling your answers, when applicable. Here are 12 days worth of questions to connect with your true self :

Past year

  1. Look back through your calendar, etc – What were the best & worst events of the past year?
  2. What was the biggest challenge you faced, & how did you overcome that challenge?
  3. โ€œLet go of things that no longer serve you, & things you canโ€™t control.โ€ – What would you like to leave in the past? How can you do that?
  4. Describe the past year in one sentence.

Life, & the grand scheme of things

  1. What are you passionate about?
  2. What are your most notable skills?
  3. What did you enjoy most when you were a kid?
  4. What are your values?

Next year

  1. What relationships encouraged growth last year, & how can you nurture those relationships this year?
  2. What would you like to end next year saying, โ€œIโ€™m so glad I did (this), Iโ€™m proud that I accomplished (that)โ€?
  3. How can you simplify your desires from #10 so that they align with your values? Consider the Pareto Principle to prioritize the action steps on your quests, meaning that only 20% of your efforts will be truly fruitful.
  4. Describe next yearโ€™s focus in one word.

Conclusion

Reflecting on the past is a great way to connect with who you truly are & where you want to go with your life. I hope these questions provide some insight for your direction in the coming year.

If you answer online, leave a comment with a link below!!

And if you’d like a printout of these questions to add to your journal, here you go!