Choosing a Different Path

The Turning Point Between Awareness and Action

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The past several weeks, Iโ€™ve been naming a bunch of the harder things we sometimes have to deal with :

If You Feel Stuck in Life, Start Hereโ€ฆ

Functional Depression & Anxiety: Why You Feel Off But Keep Going

No Such Thing as Resolved Grief

Bored, Lonely, & Looking for Something to Be Pissed Off About

How We Cope (And Sometimes Make It Worse)

All our shadows & demons.

We see each other. Whatever we’re going through at any point in time, we’re really not alone in dealing with it.

Now that the light has been castโ€ฆ


Where Do We Go From Here?

Awareness is just the beginning.

My next series of posts will explore various means to enjoy the journey without all the typical fluffy self-help bullshit.

Changing the patterns a bit so that we donโ€™t get stuck in them.

Reminding the demons whoโ€™s boss.


Life is About the Choices We Make

Itโ€™s good to acknowledge your shadows, whatever may plague you. But what to do with that knowledge?

Itโ€™s good to have some direction, however imperfect & fluid that direction may be.

We can choose to be stuck in unhelpful patterns, ideas, ways of thinking, ways of doing things.

We can also choose our own adventure.

โ€œLife without design is erratic.โ€ – Seneca

A very smart guy I once knew & will always adore posted this on Facebook a million years ago, & I wrote it down because it really hit me :

โ€œWe, as people, need to be who we are, not what we have been made into. We need to open our eyes and realize where we are and where we should be. Destructive behaviors lead to self destruction and not enlightenment. Life is about the choices we makeโ€ฆgood, bad or indifferent. We have the power to change anything.โ€

Personally, that blurb hit me right in my indifference, but it speaks to a lot of things we all deal with.

โ€œLife is about the choices we makeโ€, and the perspectives we choose to take.


Stop Feeding the Demons

A pot of tea when they come to visit isnโ€™t indulgentโ€ฆitโ€™s essential.

But at some point, you have to walk away from the table & get on with life.

There are no easy answers. Really, there are no concrete answers.

But ideas to contemplate.

All of the pathways in the brain are like trails in the woods.

If you follow the same trail constantly, the path stays clear & easy to follow, right?

But if the trail gets neglected, it becomes overgrown. Itโ€™s still there, but harder to find.

Thatโ€™s how our minds work, in regards to a lot of things – memories, lessons, ideas, emotions, and so on. Helpful or painful.

Sometimes we find ourselves on a long neglected trail,

and we have to decide whether or not itโ€™s worth it to clear the path,

and if soโ€ฆwhether or not itโ€™s worth it to continue clearing that path.

That โ€œvery smart guy I once knew & will always adoreโ€? Every pathway he ever made got overgrown for years – I was quite busy following other trails.

And while I still am quite busy, Iโ€™ve found myself on his trail quite a bit since it was illuminated a couple years ago.

Is it foolish to meander that trail like I do? I donโ€™t think so. Iโ€™m very consciously on it in search of lessons. And Iโ€™ve learned a lot, and grown a lot, in the clearing.

The point is that not every path is important.

Emotions arise, exist, and pass.

Stories & rumination feed emotions – Clearing a trail that may be better off overgrown.

Practicing mindfulness is a means of choosing which trails to run down, and which to turn back from.


Whose Trail Are You Even On?

Are you following your own paths, or a map you knew would be easy to follow?

You have to get honest about who you are and what you actually want out of your life – if anyone does it for you, youโ€™re not going to enjoy the outcome. Or the journey.

You can be labeled (or label yourself) as an addict, a depressive, an angry person, or whatever – labels can explain challenges we all face without becoming excuses.

Be mindful of your limitations, but mindful of your excuses just the same.


Gold In The Cracks

The goal is to learn how to grow from it.

How to become whole amidst it.

Integrating it instead of chasing the illusion of โ€œperfectionโ€. Or โ€œnormalโ€.

Taking the broken pieces & kintsugi-ing them back together – proudly displaying the gold in the cracks.


Build Your Own Damn Meaning

The idea that “if you can find meaning in life, youโ€™ll be happy” is vague & unhelpful.

Build your own damn meaning. Now, thatโ€™s agency at its finest.

Thatโ€™s human kintsugi.

Often, meaning can be found in helping others in some way,

and in the process you can pry yourself out of your own head.

Relationships matter, even if theyโ€™re minor or fleeting.

And often, if you look hard enough,

meaning can be found in all the little experiences you share with others.

Not in the hedonic pleasure of all the escape routes Iโ€™ve mentioned (though they can be a welcome temporary relief),

but in the eudaimonic, fulfilling sense of making the world a better place, even if ever so slightly.

Anger, sadness, anxietyโ€ฆall those things can be a signal for action, if you let them.

Get out of the soul sucking relationship. Call the friend you havenโ€™t talked to in decades. Fight against the injustices in the world.

Build your own damn meaning.


Blazing New Trails

This isnโ€™t about hustle culture or toxic positivity.

This isnโ€™t about shaming your demons, escape routes, or pain points.

This is about growth through experimentation, curiosity, & gentle iteration.

There are practices that help us map a different path in the woods.

Our own paths.

The following posts are the practices that have helped me create a more enjoyable trail.

Some of them may seem like โ€œfluffyโ€ bullshit, but they work for me.

No one can tell you what path to check out, because not everything works for everyone.

But everythingโ€™s worth a shot, eh? Challenge yourself to try something new, even if it sounds silly.


Awareness is just the beginning – now we learn how to blaze trails.

If you’re up for it: pick one trail – old or new – and just notice where it leads this week. No pressure to fix anything. Just notice.

And if you want to follow along as I share my experiences with some of these ‘fluffy bullshit’ practices, hit subscribe – the next few posts are going to get weird, and I’d love the company.

Stay real. Live vibrantly. And rock the fuck on. ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿป

From Idea to Action: Starting a New Project When Youโ€™re Overthinking Everything

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The Myth of the Perfect Start

If youโ€™re the type of person who has 1,039 ideas but never takes the plunge – this oneโ€™s for you!

Waiting for the โ€œright timeโ€ is usually just fear in disguise. You donโ€™t need clarity, confidence, or even competence to start something meaningful.

Screw perfection – Start now. Fuck shit up. Fix it later.

Know What Youโ€™re Chasing

Use the Japanese idea of Ikigai as your compass :

  • What do you love?
  • What are you good at? (Or willing to get good at.)
  • What could make money or even support you financially?
  • What does the world (or your world) need more of?

Donโ€™t aim for a perfect life plan – aim for a starting point that feels aligned. What do you want to try?

From Vibe to Vision (The Idea to Reality Map)

  • Step 1 : The Idea. Jot it down, doodle it, whatever – Turn the abstract into something.
  • Step 2 : The Pre-Screen. Ask yourself :
    • How will this benefit me?
    • Who else would benefit?
    • What sparked this idea?
    • Whatโ€™s the best case scenario?
    • How bad do I want this? (1-10)
      • If itโ€™s a 7+, GO FOR IT! If not, ditch it guilt-free.
  • Step 3 : Brainstorm & break down into actionable planning tiers :
    • Monthly : big research, tools, skills; break it down into the smallest steps possible
    • Weekly : pick 2-3 small actions from monthly tasks
    • Daily : 10-20 minutes of movement = momentum

Use the โ€œ5 Whysโ€ to Crush Fear & Find Truth

According to Ryder Carroll in โ€œThe Bullet Journal Methodโ€, designers at Toyota have been using the following exercise for decades to get to the root of problems.

Identify a problem. Answer why itโ€™s a problem. Answer why thatโ€™s a problem. And so on.

For example :

Problem – Iโ€™m afraid to start.

Why? Because I might fail.

Why? Because I havenโ€™t practiced.

Why? Because I havenโ€™t started.

Why? โ€ฆoh.

This method forces clarity. It hurts in all the best ways.

Channel Your Inner Cato (Or Whoever You Admire)

Cato didnโ€™t wait for applause. He practiced discomfort, led by example, and acted.

Who do you admire, whoโ€™s doing what you want to do?

What are they doing, and how can you do that in your own unique ways?

What would they do? (Theyโ€™d just fucking do the things.)

Build in Public, Brand Organically

Thereโ€™s no need to look polished right out the gate – all brands evolve. Share the mess, and let people watch you grow – we should all inspire each other, donโ€™t you think?

Iโ€™ve done it twice!

I thought being a reseller would be fun (& it was at first). So I did a little research, got the supplies I needed, & spent a few years selling stuff online. I learned that it wasnโ€™t nearly as hard as Iโ€™d built it up to be in my head once I was actually doing it. In time, it became almost effortless!

zen BLITZ started as a jewelry shop online. Why? I have no idea LOL! I had fun making stuff, & hubby told me to try selling it. I hated it, but I never gave up my brand. And here we are now, doing the things I enjoy (writing & creating digital products) & growing by the day!

Use the 20 Minute Rule to Make Big Decisions Easy

I read a fun newsletter from Ali Abdaal, where he expanded on an idea from Tim Ferriss.

  1. Create a hypothesis. โ€œI think I might want toโ€ฆโ€
  2. Run a โ€œminimum viable experimentโ€. Write a post. Launch a landing page. Try it for 20 minutes a day for 2 weeks.

Learn fast. Adjust faster. Donโ€™t bet your life – just test the water.

The Only Thing You Need : Action

Perfection is procrastination in a fancier outfit. Take one weird, ugly, probably wrong step. Then another. And another. Momentum leads to mastery.

If it sucks, GOOD! That means youโ€™re making progress.

Youโ€™re Required to Start Small & Weird

Forget polished. If youโ€™re excited, youโ€™re already ready. Just start.

You can be a professional witch, digital punk, homeschooler entrepreneur, or whatever wild idea youโ€™ve got.

Burn your idea of โ€œthe right wayโ€ and build a new one.

You donโ€™t need to be sure. You donโ€™t need to be perfect. You just need to begin.

๐Ÿ”ฅ Got a wild idea simmering? Leave a comment, share your dream, or DM me what you’re finally starting.

Subscribe here for more anti-fluff fuel & creative rebellion tips every week. Letโ€™s make shit happen.

Rock on!

Punk Rock Guidelines for Manifesting a Life You Love

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While daydreaming & scripting may make your wishes feel more attainable, nothing is going to get you where you want to be quite like actually doing something about it. Here are some punk rock guidelines to consider when manifesting a life you love.

Define your vision of success for your life

Nevermind what society, family, friends, acquaintances, or that guy at work whoโ€™s always looking at you funny thinks. What makes you feel fulfilled?

Find radical focus & clarity

No fluffy BS – Get crystal clear about your vision of an ideal life. You could even try making a vision board with only things that truly resonate with your authentic self.

Embrace selective apathy to remain focused

Be picky with what you give a fuck about – You may find that you stress yourself out about stupid shit, when you could be focused on making progress toward your goals in life.

Manifest by doing, not waiting

Scripting & visualization are good starting points for an action plan. Just make sure you do the work by taking action on the plan. Small steps daily add up to huge changes in the long run – โ€œIt doesnโ€™t matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stopโ€ – Confucius

Create an โ€œI donโ€™t care, Iโ€™m doing it anywayโ€ list

Make a list of things youโ€™re sick of putting off for โ€œa more opportune timeโ€ or โ€œmore researchโ€, & commit to trying one thing for each month of the year.

Reframe past failures into fuel

โ€œWhatever doesnโ€™t kill you can only make you stronger.โ€ While thatโ€™s a load of crap half the time, you have to try to spin as much of the BS life throws at you as possible. Look for lessons to learn & ways to grow through tough times.

Edit your lifeโ€™s playlist

Just like a playlist of your favorite music is unique to you, so is your life. Choose which โ€œtracksโ€ youโ€™d like to โ€œplayโ€ more or less often, such as your education, career, hobbies, & relationships, and create a lifestyle that is authentic to you.

Stay true to your vision

Whatever you set your intention to, stay stubborn in accomplishing it. Commit to the fact that any obstacle can be overcome, you just need to figure out how.

โ€œAct as ifโ€

Embody the ideal youโ€™re striving for now. Today, & every day. If you want to be an artist, live as an artist would in your eyes, & create something daily. โ€œFake it til you make itโ€, if you must (thatโ€™s what most people do!)

Celebrate the little things

Be sure to acknowledge your progress with pride. Every step forward is a step in the right direction!

Conclusion

Actively create a life you love – Dream it, do it, own it, & revel in it. Every chance you get.

Which ideas resonated most with you? Let me know in the comments!