Because your demons don’t knock – and they’re not going away.
As excited as I was to write this post…I had a hell of a time with it.
Not because it’s emotionally heavy or because I’ve studied Jung – but because my take on it differs a bit from the standard one…
The Stuff We Keep Stuffing Into the Basement
Typically, the shadows & demons are the “unacceptable” aspects of your psyche that you bury to be able to carry on in a socially acceptable manner throughout your life – your rage, your fear, your sadness…
Things you were conditioned early on to hide from the world through your upbringing, your culture, religion, gender roles…
Things that tend to pop out in other unpleasant ways – sarcasm, harsh judgment of others, controlling behavior…
And, while I do agree with that sentiment, I think it goes far beyond that.
They can hide beneath many of the struggles I’ve been writing about these past few weeks – grief, anxiety, trauma, restlessness, addictions, daydreaming – and more.
They’re the thoughts, emotions, wounds, and patterns that refuse to stay buried.
The things we try not to feel, acknowledge, or understand.
The things that keep returning until we pay attention.
Though, the shadow isn’t always dark.
Sometimes it’s creativity that was mocked. Vulnerability that wasn’t safe. Assertiveness that was labeled selfish. Joy that felt irresponsible.
Sometimes the things we bury aren’t ugly at all.
The Mirror You Don’t Recognize
They can manifest in a variety of ways, and for a variety of reasons.
Sometimes for no obvious reason.
Something might trigger you. Someone’s judgment of you might hit harder than expected. You notice yourself chasing your tail. Nightmares. Fantasies.
They can be like an unrecognizable mirror – your past bleeding into the present.
Or they can just be an ominous feeling that you can’t shake.
For me (yup, getting really real here)…
It’s often a crushing feeling that I’m a hopelessly fucked up failure who disappoints everyone around me.
While I’m perfectly aware that these are “just” intrusive thoughts, fed by shitty, estranged family members who are in no position to judge… I can’t help but be afflicted by them occasionally.
Sometimes these shadows visit when I’m trying to fall asleep – all my perceived catastrophic failings as a caregiver, all my senseless guilt – sneak up & grab me by the throat.
Sometimes they visit my husband in his dreams, where innocent memories get distorted into horrific trauma. Which is, of course, incredibly disorienting.
Pull Up a Chair
This discontent is merely an invitation to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
“What you resist persists; what you accept transforms.” – Carl Jung
Demons will always pop out of the shadows – it’s wise to invite them to tea because they refuse to be turned away for long. They have their reasons.
They always retreat eventually anyway, but the purpose of sitting with them is to get to know them – what they are & why, what they need you to learn or know, & how to proceed when they go back into hiding.
They’re not shameful – everyone has their own, though many pretend they don’t & then chase their tails into purgatory.
They’re there to remind you, to humble you, to keep you compassionate & growing.
You don’t have to agree with them.
You don’t have to obey them.
But you might learn something by listening.
It’s a lifelong process of wholeness – enjoy the journey without the destination in mind.
“Make love to your darkness until it sighs in relief. You can’t heal what you won’t let howl.” – Christopher Sexton
The tea isn’t for them.
It’s for you.
Shadow work isn’t a one-time breakthrough. It’s a standing invitation – and the door’s always open.
If this resonated, share it with someone who needs permission to stop running. And if you’re new here – subscribe. We go to uncomfortable places, and we bring snacks (and tea).
Stay real. Live vibrantly. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻
zen BLITZ 