Bad Reputation (2007–2009): The First Chapter of My Novella In Progress

I don’t want to keep you all waiting, so here’s the first chapter of the novella I’m working on 😊

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, you can read my intro here : Writing My Way Through Memory: The Novella That Found Me

However, I did fail to mention in my intro post that the chapter titles are going to be referencing song titles for various reasons. You’ll see!

Without further ado…


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Chapter 1 : 2007 > 2009 : Bad Reputation

I’ve never been very good at making friends. I was an only child growing up, and I was always a little “weird”, so that doesn’t help.

That’s probably why I liked gas station jobs so much. Nobody expects depth from you there — just a transaction, a smile, maybe a joke if the moment feels right. You meet everyone: the kids with loose change and sticky fingers, the wealthy guy in a suit barking into his phone, the quiet woman who only buys scratch-offs, the old man who needs company as much as cigarettes. In those fleeting moments, you get the entire spectrum of humanity. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you get to leave a spark behind.

“The Apple” was the fourth store I worked at, but my first in a city. The sheer volume of feet walking through the doors was exhilarating – The constant noise of chatter, cooler doors opening & closing, receipts printing, people complaining. Some people would hate that chaos. I found my zen.

That day, the line was brutal. I was dealing with a woman who suddenly decided she needed everything within reach — chips, gum, batteries, a lighter she’ll never use. Her pile on the counter in front of me grew by the second. I plastered on my polite smile, though inside I was trying to figure out where I could bury her without getting caught.

Then I noticed someone peeking around her. Over the course of what felt like a million glances between us, I’d noticed arms covered with vibrant ink that looked like stories etched into skin, a NOFX shirt worn soft at the edges, camo cargo shorts, and the kind of stance that said he was comfortable in his own chaos – my “type”, wrapped up in an adorable little package.

Then our eyes met.

“Oh, shit,” I thought, as goosebumps covered my arms. His eyes were the most dangerous shade of blue I’d ever seen: sharp, alive, sparkling with beautiful trouble. Something about him felt familiar, like we’d been circling each other across lifetimes. Married in another universe, maybe. Strangers here. I was officially intrigued.

My coworker called him over to her register – “Camel Wides,” he said. A million more glances between us for those few seconds while she cashed him out.

He glanced at me once more, the shy smile of a kid with a crush this time, then walked out the door.

I told myself that was that. A fleeting spark. Something to tuck away and smile about later.

Still, curiosity gnawed at me. As soon as my line cleared, I leaned toward my coworker.

“What’s his deal?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, that’s just Jack. He flirts with everyone.”

“Noted,” I muttered, pretending I didn’t care. But I kinda did.

A couple hours later, the store phone rang.

“Hi, is this Sally?”

“Yep,” I replied.

“I was just in there a little bit ago, I don’t know if you remember – bald guy with tattoos? I think I forgot something while I was there.”

“Where, on the counter??” I said as I started looking around.

“No, I forgot to ask for your number.”

There it already was – the infamous “flirts with everyone”.

Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me wanted to give him my number, and part of me remembered my reality.

I took a steadying breath. “Well, I appreciate the offer, but… I’m in a relationship.”

A soft pause. “Fair enough. Worth a shot.”

We said goodbye. I hung up, convinced that was the end of it.

Holy hell was I wrong.


Next thing I know, I had a friend request on Facebook.

“How’d you find me on Facebook?!?” I asked.

“Well, you’re the only Sally who works at The Apple in town. So…it wasn’t that hard,” he chuckled.

“Better question I guess would be why did you find me on Facebook?” I was mildly creeped out. Still intrigued though.

“I want to get to know you. Is that ok?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”


Over the course of months, we got to know each other a little bit.

One night, we went outside the store to hang out for a few minutes.

“Everything kinda sucks right now,” he said with a duller tone than usual. “So I signed up to go to Iraq in November. To get away from ‘normal’ life for a bit. Maybe get some perspective. Or at least some distraction.”

“You’re in the army?!?” I asked.

“10 years and counting!”

He went on. “I got a TBI a few years ago, on duty. I don’t even know what happened, other than I was knocked out for a few minutes. Apparently nothing too serious, but I do get symptoms of a stroke sometimes. Nobody knows why – Nothing shows on MRI scans.”

Where was this coming from all of a sudden? He’d never really opened up to me before – always just passing conversation when he’d stop in for gas or whatever. I couldn’t help but wonder what brought this on, but I wasn’t about to pry.

“I’m not gonna lie, you really don’t seem like the ‘army’ type to me…whatever that means,” I admitted.

He shrugged. “I’m also a corrections officer. And I used to be a cop.”

My heart jumped into my throat. Maybe he’s not so much my “type”.

“Why the hell would you do that?!?” I said half jokingly. He always seemed so chill, & fun. I could see if he were an EMT or something like that. But law enforcement?!?

“I knew I could.”

I laughed. “Well, I could’ve been a prostitute, but that doesn’t mean I should!”

“Good point,” he smiled.

“What else should I know about you?” I asked inquisitively.

“Hm. Well…I’m divorced. I have 3 kids with my ex wife. We were stationed together in Washington, and then she ran off across to country with the kids. That’s how I ended up here – I’m not about to let her keep them from me for no good reason.”

I was shocked. Why would she do that to him?!? She must have had her reasons, but I can’t imagine he could deserve that. There must be more to know…

“3 kids!? How old are you?!?” I asked.

“35. How old are you?”

“23” I giggled shyly. “Zero kids…so far!”

“Don’t rush it, trust me!” he smiled & shook his head at himself.


November came & went. He never gave me the chance to give him a hug & wish him well before he left, so I assumed I’d never see him again.

Again.

An opportunity to work at a hospital and make more money came along, so I took it.

And I didn’t hesitate to look back. At least, that’s what I thought at the time.


What did you think of Chapter One? I’d love to know if any moments stood out to you — drop a comment below or share your favorite line.

Stay tuned for Chapter Two — and hit “like” & “subscribe” if you’re along for the ride.

Rock on. 🤘

Writing My Way Through Memory: The Novella That Found Me

Image created with Gemini

Some stories don’t ask permission — they just show up, unpack their bags, and move into your head. This one’s been living rent-free in mine for months, and I finally gave in and started writing.

So I started writing a novella a couple months ago. I’ve mentioned it here briefly, but my current lack of motivation to work on blog posts is making me think it might be worth sharing chapters of this very alive story from time to time, and I thought I’d prepare you all for that! 😆

It’s not fully planned out, and it’s still very much in progress. It’s very raw & personal. It’s about the friend I’ve mentioned that I’ve been missing a lot lately. (Well, the first part of it is about him, & things that actually happened.) – I just appreciate giving a little more life to our relationship, and honoring what we had. Cuz it was pretty epic.

So I hope you’ll enjoy the ride as I work on it occasionally. (Don’t worry, my “regular” content will still be the primary focus on my blog. – This is just a “side quest”, if you will.)

The Spark That Wouldn’t STFU

About a year ago now, someone said something that reminded me of an old friend, and all kinds of memories came flooding back about him. Relentlessly, because I was starting to feel some burnout from a situation I’d been dealing with for a couple years prior.

He was always a source of love, comfort, & valuable perspective, even when he was dealing with his own struggles. He was someone I respected, admired, & adored immensely. His resilience & strength fed into my own and helped shape the woman I grew to be, even while he wasn’t around.

We never dated; our love was always platonic (though we probably would’ve jumped on each other if given the opportunity!!) I never felt that I was capable of loving him the way he needed & deserved, and I think he felt the same way. I always felt that friendship was definitely better than nothing, and I still would have his back forever if he’d let me.

He ghosted me after a misunderstanding that he apparently didn’t want to work out. Which was the worst heartbreak of my life, if I’m being completely honest.

With all those memories flooding back, along came the same unresolved grief I’d experienced over ten years ago but with a more mature perspective.

So I decided to try to turn it into something as beautifully chaotic as it is. Maybe it’ll help me find more peace with the situation, maybe not. But it deserves it’s tiny place in literary history, cuz it was a hell of a ride!

A Glimpse at the Story

Fair warning – the characters are ACCIDENTALLY named Jack & Sally. I say accidentally because he’s a fan of Nightmare Before Christmas, and that’s not at all what the names are in reference to lol! When trying to think of names, I decided the girl’s name would be Sally because that was my “pen name” online back then (because of the Foxboro Hot Tubs’ song by that name). Jack struck me as an “edgy guy name”. And then I realized what I had done…and decided not to care!

Ultimately, the story will follow Jack & Sally from when they met, and throughout decades. Obviously, a fair amount of the beginning is based on real memories, while the latter parts will drift into fiction based on experiences with other people in my life, including a little tragedy (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially “Jack”). For the most part though, it’s somewhere between a fun, lighthearted love story, and a reckoning.

Coffee, Chaos, and Chapter Two (And a Half)

So far, writing it has been a treat! I’ve really enjoyed reminiscing about how sweet & fun that relationship was. It’s really been filling my heart with the same love I felt back then.

I’m only about 2½ chapters in at this point. A couple spots were tough to figure out how to put together, but I think I managed. Everything that’s in there is in there for a reason.

I’m learning just how emotionally stoic I tend to be. And how passionate he tended to be. Which could balance us at times, and throw us extremely off balance at other times.

I’ve also realized just how much we genuinely loved each other. Which makes the heartache suck even more now than it did back then.

When do I find time to write? Mostly in the mornings, after I finish my essential focus work, and only if I don’t have a blog post to work on. In other words, rarely. But once I get started, I never wanna stop – I wish I could work on it all day every day! ❤️

The Heart Behind the Words

This story isn’t just a recall of events, but more of an extension of my life philosophy & heart. Lots of emotional territory will get explored, from love to loss, to healing & rebellion & a sense of identity (even when that gets shaken).

I’ll be sharing bits and pieces here as I go — maybe some full chapters, maybe just thoughts from the process. So if you like watching a story come alive in real time, stick around. This one’s going to be interesting.


What would you like to see — more “behind the scenes” posts or the chapters themselves?

And tell me this: what kind of stories haunt your mind until you write them down?

Let’s chat in the comments.

If this post resonated, give it a like, share it with a friend, and subscribe for more messy, heartfelt creative chaos.

Rock on. 🤘