surviving hard times

Let’s Get Real : When Happiness Feels Like a Scam

It seems like everyone’s always chasing happiness, as though it’s the ultimate goal of life. Romanticizing happiness like that, however, can really just set us up for failure, especially when we feel like we’re just struggling to survive.

Here’s a little truth bomb for thought, from Mark Manson – “Comfort with your core misery is a form of happiness.” I suppose accepting, understanding, and approaching with compassion your underlying (angst, sadness, or whatever) is the key to freedom from its control.

Even Stoic philosopher king Marcus Aurelius was dealt a super shitty hand throughout his life, yet he showed up for it. Every. Damn. Day.

How to Deal When It All Feels Pointless

“We continue to rise because it’s the only way forward.” – Ryan Holiday

Start with the basics (especially if you’re at rock bottom) :

Eat something that didn’t come out of a crinkly wrapper. Your mind, just like your body, needs actual nutrients to feel good.
Move your ass, even if it’s just a casual stroll.
Sleep, hydrate, repeat.

2. Don’t numb out. You’ll only cause yourself more problems.

No drugs. No binges. No “maybe if I just…” decisions.
That one night stand? Definitely not the solution!
Therapy & medication are tools, not weaknesses. If your brain is sick, help it heal – no one worth a shit is judging you.

What to Do Instead of Spiraling

Journal. And get ugly about it. Be honest, even if it’s petty & especially if it’s dark. Then flip the script – What would you say to someone you love if they were feeling the way you do?
Lean on your people, even if it feels awkward or vulnerable. Any decent human will want to lift another up.
Do one tiny thing to look forward to. A creative project, a cheap vacation, plan a local hike, or learn something weird on YouTube.
Volunteer. Sometimes, giving a shit about someone else helps us give a shit about ourselves again.
Develop healthy routines to help you get through each day.

When You Feel Like Nobody Cares

Quick sad story – My mom died at home of complications from ALS four days after my 15th birthday. (Worst. Birthday. Ever.) I remember sitting on the couch in front of her while my aunt called the coroner & distant family members in the other room, and my father did shots & smoked cigarettes with my uncle outside. I asked myself, “now what do I do? How do I grieve? How do I move forward from this?” And then I realized I was left alone with the empty shell of my mom. And I screamed in agony, feeling like I didn’t matter.

This just magnified my tendency to shut down and disappear when I’m in pain. As an adult, I try hard to consciously choose not to revert to that – I try to make sure I reach out to others just to say “hi, how are ya?!?” (even though I feel like no one does that in turn).

A little reminder (for myself, & you)…

If you ever feel like no one gives a fuck – you’re not alone, or broken, or anything like that. That pain has a root. But isolation isn’t really going to make anything better. Reach out anyway – you’ll never know if some light will reach back otherwise.

Selective Apathy : A Survival Skill in a Loud World

“Let the chaos settle, & clarity will follow”

From there, we need to focus on caring deeply about things that matter to us, & not at all about things that drain us. Mindfulness is a matter of noticing where your energy goes unattended, & rerouting it with intention.

According to the Dalai Lama (& a million philosophers before him), the only constant in life is change. Suffering occurs as a natural response when we are resistant to change. When we are capable, we need to let go – accept it, so we can address it & turn it around by finding any possible meanings & lessons hidden beneath the pain.

You Don’t Have to Be Happy to Live Well

You’re not broken because you’re not blissed out. You’re still here. Still trying. And that definitely matters. You are not alone, and the world is better with you in it. Feel & live loud, even if it gets a bit ugly at times. The golden rule in life, in my opinion, is to do whatever you want so long as you don’t hurt anyone, including yourself.

If you’re in the thick of it right now — I see you. Keep doing the next right thing, even if it’s tiny. Leave a comment, message me, or just save this for later. You’re not alone in the mess.

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Rock on!

The Truth About Hard Times

I feel like my blog is a little “fluffy”. Edgy fluff, but fluff nonetheless. I know life is more complicated than some of my posts suggest, but I hope my little blog here can inspire, empower, or give you hope.

Dealing with shit is what brought me to punk and ska. I had more than my share of grieving, being bullied, and then mental health struggles as a result in my teenage years. Going to concerts has always meant getting together with other people who were dealing with their own shit to collectively dance and say “fuck it” for a bit, because hard times can feel endless and draining.

How do you “keep calm and carry on” when everything sucks? Motivation is fleeting and unreliable; discipline and resilience are the real tools for survival.

Stay the Course Even When It Sucks

You need to acknowledge and lean in to the difficult thing objectively, knowing that you will work your way around or out of the situation so long as you don’t give up. Sometimes, stubbornness is a superpower.

Strengthening Resilience : Bouncing Back Like a Boss

Resilience isn’t about avoiding pain; it’s about choosing to keep going in spite of it.

Reframe setbacks as information, without judgment. Ask objectively, “What is going on?”
Find purpose in your pain. Ask yourself, “How can this experience fuel growth?”
Keep a resilience playlist – Music to remind you that you’re stronger than the chaos, and you’re not alone.

Journaling these prompts while listening to empowering music is how I deal with all my shit. It sets me up to work through or around all the hard times.

Building Discipline : Small Steps With Big Impact

Discipline is showing up even when you don’t feel like it. These little tips can help keep you out of a major rut:

Non-negotiable routines : Anchor your day with simple, consistent actions. A morning routine could be as simple as washing your face and getting a glass of water; an evening routine could be brushing your teeth and two minutes of mindful stretching.
The Two-Minute Rule : When every little thing feels like too much, commit to ridiculously small steps like spending just two minutes on a task.
Accountability : Write it down, use a habit tracker, or be bold and tell someone what you’re committing to.

When to Rest vs Push Through

Resilience isn’t just perpetually pushing harder – It’s also listening to your body and your intuition, and knowing when to take time to recover. I intentionally schedule a weekly “Do Nothing Day” to reset my mind and recharge without guilt.

The Freedom That Comes From Resilience and Discipline

Nothing good comes quickly – These muscles build gradually over time. When shit gets real and motivation fades, discipline and resilience keep you moving forward.

This week, create your resilience playlist – Five songs to remind you that you’re tougher than anything life can throw at you. When life gets loud, blast it louder!

Give me a “like”, share this article with friends, subscribe if you’d like to see more articles like this, and leave a comment below – What’s the toughest thing you’re pushing through right now, and what’s one small but badass step you can take today?