depression – zen BLITZ

Plot Twists : An Edgy Guide to Fighting (or Befriending) Your Misery

Embrace the Mess

Lately, I just want to crawl under a pile of pillows & blankets & disappear. After pushing through an intense amount of drama for over two years…I’m exhausted! I feel like a bounce house with a hole in it – no matter how much air I put in, it just won’t fill up.

To add to the stress, my past trauma has been slapping me in the face recently too. Because, as everyone who’s dealt with any sort of trauma knows (which is everyone, eventually) – healing is cyclical. You never fully heal, you cycle through periods of it being in your face, then growing through the pain, then carrying on with your life, and back around over the course of years. The goal is just to not let it consume your life.

(This is my warning for my posts this month – I am super behind, because I’m really struggling to find my own peace right now. It is what it is.)

Truth is, I didn’t fail at self-care (& neither are you if you’re feeling a similar way). We’re all human – occasionally stressed, foggy, & worn out from life’s latest plot twist. This article definitely isn’t about toxic positivity; it’s about looking for tools that work.

Suffering is like whack a mole – “Every time you knock down one kind of pain, another one pops up. And the faster you whack them, the faster they come back.” “Everything is fucked. It always has been and always will be… it’s time we stop running from that and, instead, embrace it.” (Mark Manson, Everything is Fucked)

Name Your Nemesis

In my experience, depression and anxiety are two sides of the same coin – while one may be “face up”, the other is still…there.

Sadness / Apathy = depression = fixation on the past

Fear = anxiety = fixation on the future

Different beasts require different weapons…

Choose Your Battle : Acceptance or Rebellion

Write it out : What’s bothering you? Could it be trying to tell you something useful? Can you control any aspect of it? If yes, what can you do to improve the situation? If no, how can you work to accept the situation without letting it consume you?

10 Rebel Approved Rituals to Recharge Your Soul

Midnight hikes. An endorphin boost from the peace & quiet of solitude. Plus, everything looks different at night. (Just please be safe!)
Messy art sessions. No rules, no judgment. The messier the better!
Silent 24-hour retreat. Stare down & battle your inner monologue.
Cold plunge shock. Jolt your nervous system awake.
Face down pillow burial. Embrace the collapse…& then rise from the ashes.
Journal as a witness. Be an active observer of your life
Identity cigarette moment. Reclaim a bit of yourself…mindfully. (Not a health tip, just some raw honesty. – I quit smoking 6 years ago. But I’ve had a pack of Camels for over 3 years now lol – & I only smoke maybe once or twice a year. It was such a strong part of my identity, so I enjoy indulging once in a while. And the “7th grade body buzz” is a trip too LOL iykyk)
Stoic love swap. Replace anger or fear with acts or thoughts of love.
Micro hobby project. Crochet, blogging, coding, whatever. Bonus points if you can make some money off it.
X detox. Get off your phone / distract yourself from picking fights on X (why are you even on X anymore? Nevermind, I’m not here to judge lol)

Self-Acceptance and Self Love Reminders

Core creed : Do whatever you want in life, just don’t hurt anyone (including yourself)
Happiness formula (Rita Mae Brown) : someone to love + something to do + something to look forward to
When your brain literally won’t cooperate, focus on the basics – exercise, sleep, journaling, learning, & progress. Progress isn’t linear, & simplicity always wins.

Build Your Own “Emotional First Aid Kit”

Mix & match from the suggestions above – see what works for you at different times & for different situations. Keep track of tried & true ideas in your journal for future reference.

The Ever-Unfinished Experiment

Self improvement & personal growth isn’t a chore – it’s your rebellion.

Check out this article I really liked : Feeling Lost and Unmotivated? Read This.

💬 What’s in your personal emotional first aid kit?

I’d love to hear what weird, wild, or wonderful tools help you climb out of the fog. Drop a comment below, share this with a friend who needs it, or subscribe if you haven’t yet — more rebel resources are on the way.

Stay weird. Stay kind. Stay you. 💀✨

Rock on!

Real Talk: How to Function When Life Super Sucks

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Let’s Get Real : When Happiness Feels Like a Scam

It seems like everyone’s always chasing happiness, as though it’s the ultimate goal of life. Romanticizing happiness like that, however, can really just set us up for failure, especially when we feel like we’re just struggling to survive.

Here’s a little truth bomb for thought, from Mark Manson – “Comfort with your core misery is a form of happiness.” I suppose accepting, understanding, and approaching with compassion your underlying (angst, sadness, or whatever) is the key to freedom from its control.

Even Stoic philosopher king Marcus Aurelius was dealt a super shitty hand throughout his life, yet he showed up for it. Every. Damn. Day.

How to Deal When It All Feels Pointless

“We continue to rise because it’s the only way forward.” – Ryan Holiday

Start with the basics (especially if you’re at rock bottom) :

Eat something that didn’t come out of a crinkly wrapper. Your mind, just like your body, needs actual nutrients to feel good.
Move your ass, even if it’s just a casual stroll.
Sleep, hydrate, repeat.

2. Don’t numb out. You’ll only cause yourself more problems.

No drugs. No binges. No “maybe if I just…” decisions.
That one night stand? Definitely not the solution!
Therapy & medication are tools, not weaknesses. If your brain is sick, help it heal – no one worth a shit is judging you.

What to Do Instead of Spiraling

Journal. And get ugly about it. Be honest, even if it’s petty & especially if it’s dark. Then flip the script – What would you say to someone you love if they were feeling the way you do?
Lean on your people, even if it feels awkward or vulnerable. Any decent human will want to lift another up.
Do one tiny thing to look forward to. A creative project, a cheap vacation, plan a local hike, or learn something weird on YouTube.
Volunteer. Sometimes, giving a shit about someone else helps us give a shit about ourselves again.
Develop healthy routines to help you get through each day.

When You Feel Like Nobody Cares

Quick sad story – My mom died at home of complications from ALS four days after my 15th birthday. (Worst. Birthday. Ever.) I remember sitting on the couch in front of her while my aunt called the coroner & distant family members in the other room, and my father did shots & smoked cigarettes with my uncle outside. I asked myself, “now what do I do? How do I grieve? How do I move forward from this?” And then I realized I was left alone with the empty shell of my mom. And I screamed in agony, feeling like I didn’t matter.

This just magnified my tendency to shut down and disappear when I’m in pain. As an adult, I try hard to consciously choose not to revert to that – I try to make sure I reach out to others just to say “hi, how are ya?!?” (even though I feel like no one does that in turn).

A little reminder (for myself, & you)…

If you ever feel like no one gives a fuck – you’re not alone, or broken, or anything like that. That pain has a root. But isolation isn’t really going to make anything better. Reach out anyway – you’ll never know if some light will reach back otherwise.

Selective Apathy : A Survival Skill in a Loud World

“Let the chaos settle, & clarity will follow”

From there, we need to focus on caring deeply about things that matter to us, & not at all about things that drain us. Mindfulness is a matter of noticing where your energy goes unattended, & rerouting it with intention.

According to the Dalai Lama (& a million philosophers before him), the only constant in life is change. Suffering occurs as a natural response when we are resistant to change. When we are capable, we need to let go – accept it, so we can address it & turn it around by finding any possible meanings & lessons hidden beneath the pain.

You Don’t Have to Be Happy to Live Well

You’re not broken because you’re not blissed out. You’re still here. Still trying. And that definitely matters. You are not alone, and the world is better with you in it. Feel & live loud, even if it gets a bit ugly at times. The golden rule in life, in my opinion, is to do whatever you want so long as you don’t hurt anyone, including yourself.

If you’re in the thick of it right now — I see you. Keep doing the next right thing, even if it’s tiny. Leave a comment, message me, or just save this for later. You’re not alone in the mess.

If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe to my weekly newsletter zen BLITZ.

Rock on!

The only thing that helps me focus…

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We live in a time when seemingly everyone has trouble focusing on any one thing. Multi-tasking has become a skill most people aim to perfect because we live in a fast paced world. But if we don’t slow ourselves down regularly, we will inevitably “burn out”, so we need to make a point to take care of ourselves regularly.

I love me some Zen Habits – One of the things Leo mentions often is making a habit of taking regular mindfulness breaks throughout the day. So, in this article, I’m going to discuss this, as well as ideas on how to practice. (And remember, it’s practice! 😉)

The habit of regular mindfulness breaks

It’s easy for life to pass us by when we’re running from one thing to another, be it work to dinner to school, or whatever. We’re always on the go. Life is a precious & fleeting thing that we’re blessed to be conscious for, so it’s understandable to want to live it to its fullest. At the same time, are we really living, savoring each experience, as we go?? That’s why I think it’s such a good idea to schedule regular mindfulness breaks, whenever they can fit. Of course, it depends on how much time you can spare, whether you schedule a whole day or evening of pampering yourself, or if you can only sit for a minute or two. Depending on what I’m doing, most days I spend a few minutes every couple hours doing some exercise or meditation. If I’ve been particularly busy & need to recharge, I’ll carve out a few hours. But of course, mindfulness can be practiced anytime, anywhere, whenever you just focus on the present moment. 🕉

Acts of mindfulness

Anytime you immerse yourself in the present moment, you are practicing mindfulness. You could do this for a few seconds, or a few hours; it’s quality over quantity. You could immerse yourself in a walk in a park, or for a few seconds at work. Practice focusing on one thing. I do a lot of yoga, especially prior to meditation, because it helps calm my body; I meditate because it helps calm my mind. Really, anything you focus on is a type of meditation, including yoga, tai chi, & other exercises; I listen to a lot of trance music & usually use one of my many meditation beads , but I sometimes do visualizations or mantras.

Self care is a matter of necessity, not luxury

As a caregiver for my elderly father, I learned the importance of mindfulness the hard way. It’s a tough situation to be in, but it is what it is, and I try to grow where I’m planted by way of appreciating what I have each moment & trying to plan for the future. Burn out snuck up on me a few years ago, and regular mindfulness breaks are the only thing that has helped me get my head straight.

What do you do to take care of yourself? Let’s chat in the comments below!! 😉