Goal Setting Without the Bullshit: A Flexible 6-Step Guide (Any Time of Year)

“New year, new you!” You know that’s bullshit, on so many levels.

For one thing, pushing the reset button on the calendar year doesn’t change anything other than a number. People change over time — often quietly, unevenly, and without clean timelines – the dates don’t matter at all.

For another thing, there’s nothing wrong with you such that you need to completely “reinvent yourself” or whatever – Goals are intended for self respect, not self shaming or punishment for not being “good enough”. Everyone could benefit from improving their lives in certain ways, at certain times.

So, while I am writing this post for the new year, I’m going to share some reflections, practical steps, and a loving nudge for all of us to get our proverbial shits together whenever we need it, throughout the year.

Let’s be intentional about how we design our lives, shall we?

Step 1: Reflect Like You Mean It

(You might want to spread these reflection prompts out over a few days. Or weeks, whatever you need to do. 😉)

A. Role Review

Make a list of all of your roles in your life – whatever applies to you.

For example, mine are : myself, wife, mom, homeschool teacher, creator, & household manager.

It might seem like some of those things overlap, and they do because they’re collectively my life, but they’re also separate responsibilities.

What roles in your life carry their own responsibilities – are you a student? A volunteer? And even if your kids are adults, they still count, now just as much as ever.

Once you have your list, go through each role individually & ask yourself the following :

How do I feel about this area, as far as the associated responsibilities & the general vibe?
Why?
What, if anything, would I like to improve here?

No self judgment, just be honest.

If a role feels heavy or resentful, that’s information — not failure.

B. Define Your Ideal Life

Perfection isn’t reality.

Without that in mind, get wild with this one!

What, ideally, would make your life feel peak vibrant, authentic, & exhilarating? Spend a few minutes writing it out.

Make this personal: values-based, vision-based, aesthetic, emotional, or messy.

Dream big!

C. Optional Reflection Prompts

A few more things to ask yourself, if you’d like :

Where in my life am I proud of myself?
Where am I drained?
What’s one thing I’d change immediately if I could?

Step 2: Choose a Word of the Year

This doesn’t need to be too drawn out, and it doesn’t need to be for a whole calendar year.

Pick an anchor word to help you focus your efforts on for now – if it changes, change is good. Just pick one at a time, a truth to lean into for a while to serve as a compass & a reminder of the direction you’re going (which is forward 😉).

Examples I’ve used in the past : simplify, intent, & embody.

Write it somewhere you’ll see it regularly. Make a Canva design & hang it on your wall. Tattoo it on your arm if that’s your thing. Just don’t forget your reminder.

Step 3: The Brain Dump

Set a timer for at least five minutes and free write a list of anything on your mind. And, while you’re at it, everything.

No filtering, no performing as though it’s intended for anyone but you. Just get it all out of your head & onto paper.

Some loose categories to consider : Life + Work + Health + Wealth + Relationships. Maybe even consider some things from your “Fuck Yeah list” or childhood hobbies.

If your brain dump feels overwhelming, that’s the point — you’re emptying the clutter.

Step 4: Prioritize Intentionally

Go back through your brain dump and sort through it :

Hell Yes (non-negotiables or deeply aligned)
Maybe (park for later)
Hell No (things you’re carrying out of guilt or habit) – cross these right out

Then sort through the “Hell Yes” again, as well as your previous reflections – what things take priority for you, right now? What’s important to your wellbeing & sense of self? You really want to minimize this list as much as possible (no more than 2 or 3 things).

Step 5 : Identify the Why

For these priorities, ask yourself why those things matter to you.

Dig deep — the root motivation, the thing that will keep you going during slumps. Does it relate to your values, your identity, your direction in life?

Ask yourself – “If I lose motivation, what truth about this goal will get my ass in gear?”

Step 6: Build the Plan (Projects + Systems)

There are two main ways to execute on most goals – systems & projects.

Projects are time bound, outcome based goals with a definitive ending point. For example, planning a vacation or launching a product.

Systems are repeated behaviors, such as habits, routines, & processes. For example, I have my morning & evening routines, and our homeschool routine – all of these things include habits that better my life (& my kids), which is always the goal.

Pick no more than 1–3 major projects to work on or systems to develop to focus on this quarter.

An Optional Perspective : Experiments

If you have a bit more of a scientific mind, it may be helpful to view these new projects & systems as experiments.

Include:
- Hypothesis
- Test (action)
- Evaluate
- Implement or Pivot

“Experiments” remove failure-shame, because they’re just experiments. Try a thing, and if it doesn’t work, try something else.

Keep Yourself Accountable (Gently)

Some people like to tell their loved ones or an online community about their goals to help keep them accountable – they can keep those people updated on their progress.

While I kind of do that here on my blog a little bit, I prefer the visuals of habit tracking in my planners and reflecting regularly in my journals.

Whatever you do, choose something that feels supportive, not punishing if you don’t (or can’t) follow through.

Reflection + Adjustment

Reflection is key, especially if that’s your main accountability protocol.

Even if it’s not, you should definitely ask yourself regularly what’s working with your progress, what’s not working, and how you can make things better or easier for yourself.

For myself, I check off my habit tracker daily. Weekly, I review & see how the week went. And then monthly, I review my weekly reflections & see what I need to adjust.

Your timeframes & means of reflection may be different, but it’s essential to do if you want to see continuous improvements in life.

Real-Life Examples From My Current Goals

For nearly a year now, I’ve been focusing on a few things – my physical health, my writing & creativity, homeschooling, & my marriage. All of these things are major priorities for me for their own reasons, and that hasn’t changed.

For my health goals, I have a daily health log on Notion where I keep myself accountable for the food I eat throughout the days (I can be a bit of an “emo eater” sometimes). I keep a separate analog journal to log my weights & what exercise I do on a daily basis. Weekly, I review these logs & reflect on how I did in my analog journal. (And it’s been pretty neat seeing how my weights have changed over the course of months!)

I track what writing I get done daily in another analog notebook, and reflect on that each week as well. I never feel like I’m getting anything done, but my notebook reminds me that I do get stuff done & encourages me to keep at it!

We follow curricula for most of the girls’ homeschooling, and I’m constantly asking myself if we’re moving along at a reasonable pace. I adjust accordingly, and I keep track of progress on Notion, which makes it super easy when it comes to writing up quarterly reports!

Closing

You certainly don’t need a perfect plan to start, you just need to know where you want to go and what first steps to take on the journey.

One honest step is more powerful than a polished vision board.

Treat the coming year as an experiment in becoming more you, & let’s see where it takes us!

If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.

If you’re comfortable, share your word of the season or one priority in the comments — I love seeing how people design their lives differently!

And if you’d like to watch a video I enjoyed that kind of plays in to what this article was about, check this out 👇

Rock on! 🤘💚

How to Choose the Right Planner for 2026 (Without Overcomplicating Your Life)

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It’s that time of year again – planner time!

With all the options out there, how do you know which one to choose? Do you even need a reinvented method?

You don’t need a “perfect system.” You need a system that actually fits your life.

Let’s try to figure that out…

Keep It Simple, Stupid. (KISS)

Some people tend to overbuild: too many trackers, too many spreads, too much pressure.

Why?

Sometimes it can be fun, but eventually you’ll likely burn yourself out.

The real red flag: you’re not using it OR it feels like it’s going to explode. Literally.

Focus on minimalism over aesthetic chaos, or too much “quantified self” data that you’ll realistically never give a shit about (ie: 12 mood trackers, tracking water intake by color, etc.)

Focus on what you actually need.

What You Really Need to Plan For

Grab a piece of paper or your journal – it’s list time!

What do you feel the need to plan for in the first place?

Everyone has universal categories :

Appointments & time-specific stuff
Goals / Habits

What else? For me personally, I also need to plan for :

Family adventures
Homeschool
Meal planning

Now ask yourself about each – Does this category make my life easier, or am I adding it because I feel like I should? Cross out the unnecessary & don’t worry about it!

The fewer categories you depend on, the longer the system lasts.

What To Do If Your System Feels Boring

Boring is fine. If it works, don’t fix it.

Consistency is boring. But boring is how you get results.

Overhaul cravings usually mean the current system never felt quite as effective as it needs to be. Ask yourself “why?”

Some small refresh ideas:

Simplify back to only the essentials
Switch up a layout
Add minimal decoration, color, or a theme
Reduce screens by intentionally using paper moments

Pre-Made Planner vs. Build-Your-Own

There are certainly benefits to both.

Pre-made = great for beginners, busy people, and those who hate setup.
DIY = great for people with unique schedules, neurodiverse brains, or flexible lifestyles.

Ask yourself : Do you want structure handed to you? Or do you want the freedom to build something more flexible?

Digital vs. Paper: Choosing Your Tools

Personally, I use both.

Notion strengths:

Holds everything.
Organizes long-term projects, archives, info-dumps, and complex systems.
Perfect for the behind-the-scenes life management.

Paper strengths:

Screen-free
Immediate
Great for daily/weekly overview
Helps cut down distractions
Good for grounding & simplicity

Hybrid = the best of both worlds.

Your planner doesn’t have to be one thing.

Avoiding Planning Fatigue

You don’t need January 1st to start fresh; you can start on any random Tuesday!

Consider your life as a collection of seasons, not years — winter rhythms vs. spring energy vs. summer chaos.

Adjust as life shifts.

(And don’t overdo it!)

My Personal Setup

As I said, I use a hybrid setup as my planning system.

Above is a screenshot of my main Notion dashboard. It’s an adaptation of Tiago Forte’s “PARA Method” (projects, areas, resources, archive) – planner, roles, interests, & archive.

For me, I don’t have any projects that aren’t related to my “roles”, so that section is just my planner – mostly a calendar & running to do lists.

“Roles” are ongoing areas of my life – mostly health (physical & mental), homeschooling, zen BLITZ, & home stuff (shopping lists, budgeting & bills, etc). Each role has its own page with its own databases – for example, my physical health has my workouts so I can cycle through them, & mental health includes my daily journal!

“Interests” holds things that aren’t directly related to my roles – so, information about people, books, restaurants, etc.

And the archive is where things go to die cuz I’ll probably never need them…but maybe I will. 😅

Obviously, you don’t need to use PARA — this is just what works for me.

And this is my Happy Planner Mini. (Nevermind the Fruit Loops stain from my kiddo – that’s part of the charm of analog 😂)

In here, I have monthly calendars so I have a nice overview of things going on, weekly overviews, and daily stuff so I don’t have to look at my phone a zillion times a day.

Obviously, I print my own paper & don’t know how to format it properly for my dumbass printer, but that’s irrelevant. It’s cheap & customizable.

This satiates my desire for a proper “Bullet Journal”. For the most part.

Review

Start with what matters and ignore everything else.
Don’t force yourself into a planner that looks good but doesn’t work.
You don’t need a brand-new system — you just need one that fits your actual life, right now.
Planning is supposed to support you, not stress you out.
Start small. Adjust as needed.

Start with what matters. Ignore the rest. If you like this vibe, hit ‘like,’ share it, and follow along — more rebellious simplicity coming soon.

Rock on! 🤘💚

Where I’m at #15

Where I'm At

*Just about finished the biggest baby blanket ever made xD*

*Starting leathercrafting – Shouldn’t be too difficult, right? LOL*

“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.

planner : Gotta figure out what I’m giving everyone for Xmas, that’s for sure! 😆😵‍💫 I have some stuff ready, but I never feel like it’s “good enough” (I’m sure you know how that is…and it’s stupid).

self : Doing pretty good! I’ve kept up with my workouts, and I switched to a “mindful diet”, though I still use the schedule I mentioned a while ago. I haven’t been terribly cranky lately either, so that’s always good LOL! 😂 – I’ve been sticking to my routines & creating a lot of stuff, so I guess that’s keeping my mind occupied.

marriage : We’re doing well, thanks for asking 😂 We managed to get a couple date days in over the past month, which has been refreshing! 😁

mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good, though their tempers aren’t. Heh 😑. Bubby got mad at BooBoo & threw her tablet at her, hit her smack dab in the middle of the forehead, & she’s probably gonna have a scar from it; BooBoo threw a chair for some reason the other day. So, I gotta figure out how to teach them better ways to deal with their big emotions…

homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well! Now that we’re in full swing, I switched our routine up a bit & it’s been going pretty well. We’ve added some yoga & meditation into our routine, and while I work on one of them individually with the curriculum, hubby’s been working with the other on various things. Bubby’s really catching up with letter & number identification, so now I’m not sure if she’s dyslexic or not (I should just get her tested within the next year or so, I suppose).

zenBLITZ : I’m really having fun! I’ve got a bunch of blog posts ready, & I’ve started chapter 4 of my novella! Also, I’m working on crocheting a blanket for my step granddaughter, and I’ve started experimenting with leatherworking! Now I just gotta figure out how to monetize something. Anything. 😅
homemaker : Yup. Still just…yep. I’ve finally started on my “dark half of the year” house cleaning projects! So that’s good 😊👍
witch : Yoga has been fulfilling enough for me lately; I don’t really want or need anything more spiritually at the moment. 🕉️

Currently

eating – Thanksgiving ham (cuz turkey is boring lol)

drinking – mint & fruity teas

watching – antenna TV cuz my Internet is down for no good reason

reading – The Last Time They Met by Anita Shreve

playing – Roblox with my kids, when our Internet is working

buying – Xmas & bday gifts!

listening to – lofi chillhop on Pandora, at the moment

celebrating – Xmas & birthdays coming up!

pinning – sewing (leatherwork), Green Day, Xmas, jewelry (mala & Kandi bracelets)

planning – holidays & holiday homeschooling

feeling – pretty good! 😊

This Is Who I Am Now – Owning Every Version of Myself

Where I'm At

I recently came across a selfie from about 15 years ago — same hairstyle, same vibe as a selfie I took this summer. Around the same time, I heard the phrase “this is who I am now.” And it got me thinking – who the fuck am I now? Turns out, I’m a lot of things…..

I am punk rock.

I do things my way, but humbly, without arrogance. I try not to judge, I try to approach difficult situations with loving kindness, and I revel in finding calm amidst chaos.

I am a wife.

I married the single coolest and most loving human being I’ve ever met, and we’ve been together for 8 years now. Through thick & thin. We’ve literally jumped through hell for each other.

I am a mom.

Of 2 beautiful, unique, intelligent, loving, creative, independent as hell little girls. They love climbing rocks, foraging for snacks in the yard, and catching toads all while wearing princess dresses & sparkly pink nail polish.

I am a homeschooler.

I love being able to cuddle my kids while helping them learn. I love figuring out their unique nuances, and interests, and seeing where these things take us on a daily basis. And I love creating space for adventures in our everyday life, to show them there’s always lessons to learn wherever you’re willing to look.

I am a creator.

A writer, a crocheter, a digital designer. A “Jill of many trades”. I just wish I could find time to make money off this shit lol!

I am the household manager.

I handle meal planning, groceries, budgeting, bills, cleaning, travel plans, party plans…just about everything.

I am a “chaos witch”.

I mostly practice hearthcraft, and protection & healing magick. My practice is…very much on the back burner to everything else in my life, but I do sneak in little bits of magick here & there.

I was a reseller for a few years.

I enjoyed the whole process, and I enjoyed providing fun things to people who got excited over the often silly things I’d offered. I just didn’t have the time or space to let it grow, and that’s fine.

I was a student a couple times.

I’ve studied psychology, neurology, business, and education. I even tutored psychology one semester (and my student did awesome!), and I was a “peer advisor” a couple times! Never followed through for a degree though, and that’s fine.

I was a patient care assistant in an emergency department for a bit.

I loved the autonomy, the diversity of situations, and the sheer volume of unique patient interactions. And the patients & visitors loved me…because I’m patient, smart, & I genuinely give a fuck. I just couldn’t stand 96% of my coworkers, and that’s fine.

I’ve been a caregiver for most of my life.

For grandparents, parents, friends, and loved ones; throughout illnesses, injuries, and psychological chaos. It’s part of how I was raised, and part of just who the fuck I am.

So that’s me — messy, evolving, and unapologetically real.

Now it’s your turn: Who the fuck are you today? Drop a comment or share this post with someone finding themselves again.

If my words made you smile, nod, or roll your eyes in recognition — hit “like,” share it, or subscribe for more real talk on life, growth, and chaos.

Keep it raw, keep it real. And rock the fuck on. 🤘💚

Always Tell Your Story: Why Sharing Your Truth Can Change Lives

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Why Your Story Matters

Everyone has a story worth telling. Even if you think yours is boring, messy, or not original – it is yours, and that makes it powerful.

The world’s drowning in noise, but human honesty still cuts through like feedback at a punk show – AI can’t create real emotion or lived experience, try as it might.

Nothing Is New — But You Are

Literally everything that can be said & done, has been. Nothing’s truly “original” anymore. And that’s ok!

What is unique is your lens — your collection of scars, triumphs, and weird little details. Nobody has ever experienced all the details put together that make up your story, which is a beautiful thing.

And every time you share one of your many truths, someone else out in the world feels a little less alone.

The Healing Power of Sharing

On my second day working the floor as a patient care assistant in an ER, I came across a patient who had ALS & his wife. He was nearing the end, and my job for the moment was to hold his hand & try to keep him calm while he was intubated. It was heartbreaking, knowing a little bit about what he’d been though, & was about to go through, and the same for his wife, because of my own experiences in a caregiver’s role with the disease.

His wife was devastated; she knew what was coming in the days ahead. So, I sat beside her and talked – I introduced myself, mentioned a little bit about my family history with ALS & the caregiver role I’d found myself in, and offered a friendly soul to help her with whatever she needed while in my department (”a warm blanket? Coffee? A hug? I’m not far; I’ve got you!”)

I was asked to help escort him to the ICU when he was deemed stable enough for transport. At the entrance, I was told I could go back to the ER & his wife was told to stay at the door until he was successfully transferred. Overwhelming grief consumed her, and understandably so. So I held her while she cried, gave her a compassionate little pep talk based on what I’d gone through, and stayed until she was invited in with her husband.

Point is, telling your stories can heal you and someone else. That day I saw that stories aren’t just meant to be told — they’re meant to be handed off like torches, sharing some light in moments of darkness.

Finding Your People

The ones who don’t get it will judge — they always have, always will. But honesty attracts the right people, the ones who’ve been waiting for someone like you to speak up.

“Your people” aren’t found through perfection — they’re found through realness. And the more you share your stories, the more your people will find you.

Boundaries and Bravery

All that said, here’s a quick note on discernment — not everything needs to be public, and oversharing can sometimes hurt more than help. It’s always best practice to keep your private information away from the internet altogether as much as possible, and you should never say anything that would hurt yourself or anyone else in any way. Of course, there are exceptions to these “rules”. Thus, discernment.

But don’t let the simple fear of judgment silence you. Everything you say could go either way — and that’s okay.

Bravery isn’t about ignoring fear; it’s about telling the truth anyway. If someone doesn’t like it & decides to troll? – FUCK ‘EM! They’re not you, and oftentimes those who lash out do so out of fear or the inability to understand. And that’s fine – you do you.

The Punk Rock of Humanity & Humility

In a world that’s increasingly artificial (AI, social media perfection, etc.), your realness is your rebellion.

Every time you tell your story honestly, you’re flipping off the illusion of perfection. (And all perfection is illusion!)

Celebrate your chaos, your cringe, your truth by sharing it with the world — it’s what makes you irreplaceable.

Write it, paint it, sing it, whisper it into the void. Someone out there needs to hear it — maybe even you.

If this spoke to you, share it with someone who’s been holding their story back – The world needs more real voices!

And if you want more unapologetic inspiration like this, hit “like,” subscribe, and keep telling your truth.

Stay real. Stay loud. And rock the fuck on. 💚🤘🏻

When Life Gets Chaotic, Prioritize Self Care

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I know I’ve vaguely mentioned some family chaos that’s occurred over the past few years – It settled down a bit earlier this year, & burnout from the whole situation set in for me.

I’m still burned out. And the chaos has reignited, in (not so) fun new ways.

So, what to do?!?

Focus on self care while plowing through the chaos- that’s all I can do.

Why Self Care Is Non-Negotiable

When you’re dealing with a bunch of shit in life, burnout is inevitable. You can push through all you want, but eventually you’re going to crash & burn.

It might not stop burnout, but it cushions the crash. In my experience, at least. (And I have more than my share of experience in this department, unfortunately.)

Of course, in the midst of true chaos, you probably don’t want to do anything. We all tend toward distraction in the forms of media or comfort foods, or whatever your unhelpful coping mechanism of choice may be.

That’s precisely when you need to shift your focus to self care – Make it just as much of a priority as the bullshit you’re dealing with. You need to maintain focus on your responsibilities, of course, but you also need to focus on your responsibilities to yourself.

Doing so will probably help with whatever emotional fuel is ruminating and adding to the dumpster fire of stress in your head.

When to Practice (Even When You’re Burned Out)

This depends on your situation, of course.

Mornings or evenings (or, ideally, both) seem to work for most people – Whenever you can find some peace to focus on your own wellbeing, if even just for short periods of time.

Figure out what times work best for you, and make an appointment with yourself – if not daily, as often as realistically possible. Even a weekly Do Nothing Day can go a long way!

What Self Care Can Look Like

It depends on you – what would fill your proverbial cup?

A pretty popular method recently has been the idea of a “dopamine menu”, where you list activities you can enjoy for various periods of time (5 minute “appetizers”, hour long “main dishes”, etc). Then when you find yourself with some free time, you choose something off your “menu” instead of doom scrolling or binging TV.

I don’t find myself with very much free time, to be honest.

But I do take time daily to focus on the core necessities of wellness : body, mind, heart, & soul.

Body : intentional physical movement
Mind : reading, learning, creating
Heart : socializing (if even just a quick text to someone I haven’t heard from in a while)
Soul : meditation, spending time outside

And this is where the Excitement Map also comes in handy – If you’re having trouble deciding which activities would soothe your soul in each of those categories, you may find some inspiration from yourself in the map (or “fuck yeah list”, whatever you’d like to call it. 😊)

When You Just Can’t Even

Some days, you’re not gonna meditate or stretch or write affirmations — you’re just trying to exist. And that’s fine. You’re not lazy; you’re overloaded. On those “ugh” days, just show yourself some grace and lower the bar. Drink some water. Get outside and take a few breaths of fresh air. Blast a song that reminds you you’re still alive. Do one tiny thing that says, “I’m still trying.” That’s enough.

I’d love to hear what your go-to self care habits are when life gets messy. Drop them in the comments — I’m sure we could all use some ideas!

If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.

Rock on! 🤘🏻💚

Where I’m at #14

Where I'm At

*Found a lot of Halloween fun this year hehe*

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on, based on the areas / roles in my life.

planner : Trying not to plan too much this month lol! I do need to figure out what we’re doing for Turkey Day though – not sure if my step daughter wants to come over or if she wants us to go over there…or if she wants us to piss off for that matter LOL. I always do ham, sausage stuffing, green bean casserole, & homemade mashed potatoes with homemade gravy…that’s all I care about 😜 (well, she does the casserole, & certainly better than I ever could! hehe)
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Ugh. Struggling a bit – “Chaos” has returned, & I’m certainly not recovered from the last round of it. Weight loss has slowed a bit because it’s hearty meal season and we’ve been too busy for me to stick to my exercise routine as strictly as I’ve been – I’ll figure it out though. When all else fails, prioritize self care! Oh, and we’ve all caught a cold. Shocker. 🤪
marriage : This is the “chaos”; nobody’s fault though, just a bit of a struggle. We’re working on figuring it out.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are doing well! Except Bubby threw Booboo’s tablet at her the other night & cut a little gash in her forehead (for someone who worked in an ER, I have an extremely low tolerance for blood…especially if it’s seeping from one of my precious little spawn LOL) – It bled quite a little bit, but it wasn’t anything that would require stitches. Bubby still feels really bad & has been catering to Booboo’s every whim LOL
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well. Booboo’s progressing on pace; she gets super frustrated sometimes, but she understands everything just fine. She’s just…me, LOL. I’ve still gotta figure out how to fit in Playing Preschool year 2 for Bubby, especially since we’re nearing the end of Easy Peasy PreK, & she’s still a little “behind”. Which is fine! She actually understands Booboo’s level of math quite a bit, which is impressive!! 😊
zenBLITZ : Hopefully I can get my head straight enough to write up some good posts soon! And work on my novella! The past month though, I crocheted a Barbie blanket for a practice project, & started a massive baby blanket for my step granddaughter hehehe ❤️
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Yeah, whatever. LOL

Currently

eating – Soups!! Most recently : my magic chicken soup, Italian sausage soup, & cabbage roll soup 🍲 😋

drinking – Barefoot Pinot Grigio (why?!?), Flora Adora Gin lemonade cocktails (whyyy?!? LOL) 🍸

watching – Game shows. I love me some 1% Club & The Floor hehe

reading – The Last Time They Met by Anita Shreve. Have I mentioned this yet? It was on the library “discard” shelf, & it sounded kind of interesting, so I thought I’d save it from the recycling bin. I’ve enjoyed it so far (I’m only about 1/4 the way through), though it is a bit slow & dry…LOL.

playing – Nothing, really. Though I ordered the original Tomb Raider for hubby, & it should be coming today. So maybe I’ll be playing that a little bit. I’d probably rather play Fable though heh

buying – Xmas gifts. And bday gifts for hubby & Bubby. Never too early to stock up!

listening to – Foxboro Hot Tubs at the moment 🤩🎸

celebrating – Thanksgiving?

pinning – tattoo inspo, pretty seasonal backgrounds, & crochet

planning – to keep my shit together lol

feeling – Kinda BLAH!

Where are you at? Let’s chat in the comments!! 💚

Rock on! 🤘🏻

My Real-Life Ghost Stories: A Halloween Throwback

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It’s spooky season again, so I thought I’d bring back last year’s ghost stories — all true, all strange, and all unforgettable :

Ghost Story #1 : The Man of the House

Ghost Story #2 – The Ouija Board

Ghost Story #3 – The Air Base

Ghost Story #4 – The Deer

Whether you believe in ghosts or not, these stories still give me chills.

What’s the creepiest thing you’ve ever experienced? Tell me in the comments!

Happy Halloween everyone!!! 🎃🖤

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Rock on!

Bad Reputation (2007–2009): The First Chapter of My Novella In Progress

Novella

I don’t want to keep you all waiting, so here’s the first chapter of the novella I’m working on 😊

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, you can read my intro here : Writing My Way Through Memory: The Novella That Found Me

However, I did fail to mention in my intro post that the chapter titles are going to be referencing song titles for various reasons. You’ll see!

Without further ado…

Chapter 1 : 2007 > 2009 : Bad Reputation

I’ve never been very good at making friends. I was an only child growing up, and I was always a little “weird”, so that doesn’t help.

That’s probably why I liked gas station jobs so much. Nobody expects depth from you there — just a transaction, a smile, maybe a joke if the moment feels right. You meet everyone: the kids with loose change and sticky fingers, the wealthy guy in a suit barking into his phone, the quiet woman who only buys scratch-offs, the old man who needs company as much as cigarettes. In those fleeting moments, you get the entire spectrum of humanity. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you get to leave a spark behind.

“The Apple” was the fourth store I worked at, but my first in a city. The sheer volume of feet walking through the doors was exhilarating – The constant noise of chatter, cooler doors opening & closing, receipts printing, people complaining. Some people would hate that chaos. I found my zen.

That day, the line was brutal. I was dealing with a woman who suddenly decided she needed everything within reach — chips, gum, batteries, a lighter she’ll never use. Her pile on the counter in front of me grew by the second. I plastered on my polite smile, though inside I was trying to figure out where I could bury her without getting caught.

Then I noticed someone peeking around her. Over the course of what felt like a million glances between us, I’d noticed arms covered with vibrant ink that looked like stories etched into skin, a NOFX shirt worn soft at the edges, camo cargo shorts, and the kind of stance that said he was comfortable in his own chaos – my “type”, wrapped up in an adorable little package.

Then our eyes met.

“Oh, shit,” I thought, as goosebumps covered my arms. His eyes were the most dangerous shade of blue I’d ever seen: sharp, alive, sparkling with beautiful trouble. Something about him felt familiar, like we’d been circling each other across lifetimes. Married in another universe, maybe. Strangers here. I was officially intrigued.

My coworker called him over to her register – “Camel Wides,” he said. A million more glances between us for those few seconds while she cashed him out.

He glanced at me once more, the shy smile of a kid with a crush this time, then walked out the door.

I told myself that was that. A fleeting spark. Something to tuck away and smile about later.

Still, curiosity gnawed at me. As soon as my line cleared, I leaned toward my coworker.

“What’s his deal?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, that’s just Jack. He flirts with everyone.”

“Noted,” I muttered, pretending I didn’t care. But I kinda did.

A couple hours later, the store phone rang.

“Hi, is this Sally?”

“Yep,” I replied.

“I was just in there a little bit ago, I don’t know if you remember – bald guy with tattoos? I think I forgot something while I was there.”

“Where, on the counter??” I said as I started looking around.

“No, I forgot to ask for your number.”

There it already was – the infamous “flirts with everyone”.

Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me wanted to give him my number, and part of me remembered my reality.

I took a steadying breath. “Well, I appreciate the offer, but… I’m in a relationship.”

A soft pause. “Fair enough. Worth a shot.”

We said goodbye. I hung up, convinced that was the end of it.

Holy hell was I wrong.

Next thing I know, I had a friend request on Facebook.

“How’d you find me on Facebook?!?” I asked.

“Well, you’re the only Sally who works at The Apple in town. So…it wasn’t that hard,” he chuckled.

“Better question I guess would be why did you find me on Facebook?” I was mildly creeped out. Still intrigued though.

“I want to get to know you. Is that ok?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Over the course of months, we got to know each other a little bit.

One night, we went outside the store to hang out for a few minutes.

“Everything kinda sucks right now,” he said with a duller tone than usual. “So I signed up to go to Iraq in November. To get away from ‘normal’ life for a bit. Maybe get some perspective. Or at least some distraction.”

“You’re in the army?!?” I asked.

“10 years and counting!”

He went on. “I got a TBI a few years ago, on duty. I don’t even know what happened, other than I was knocked out for a few minutes. Apparently nothing too serious, but I do get symptoms of a stroke sometimes. Nobody knows why – Nothing shows on MRI scans.”

Where was this coming from all of a sudden? He’d never really opened up to me before – always just passing conversation when he’d stop in for gas or whatever. I couldn’t help but wonder what brought this on, but I wasn’t about to pry.

“I’m not gonna lie, you really don’t seem like the ‘army’ type to me…whatever that means,” I admitted.

He shrugged. “I’m also a corrections officer. And I used to be a cop.”

My heart jumped into my throat. Maybe he’s not so much my “type”.

“Why the hell would you do that?!?” I said half jokingly. He always seemed so chill, & fun. I could see if he were an EMT or something like that. But law enforcement?!?

“I knew I could.”

I laughed. “Well, I could’ve been a prostitute, but that doesn’t mean I should!”

“Good point,” he smiled.

“What else should I know about you?” I asked inquisitively.

“Hm. Well…I’m divorced. I have 3 kids with my ex wife. We were stationed together in Washington, and then she ran off across to country with the kids. That’s how I ended up here – I’m not about to let her keep them from me for no good reason.”

I was shocked. Why would she do that to him?!? She must have had her reasons, but I can’t imagine he could deserve that. There must be more to know…

“3 kids!? How old are you?!?” I asked.

“35. How old are you?”

“23” I giggled shyly. “Zero kids…so far!”

“Don’t rush it, trust me!” he smiled & shook his head at himself.

November came & went. He never gave me the chance to give him a hug & wish him well before he left, so I assumed I’d never see him again.

Again.

An opportunity to work at a hospital and make more money came along, so I took it.

And I didn’t hesitate to look back. At least, that’s what I thought at the time.

What did you think of Chapter One? I’d love to know if any moments stood out to you — drop a comment below or share your favorite line.

Stay tuned for Chapter Two — and hit “like” & “subscribe” if you’re along for the ride.

Rock on. 🤘

Writing My Way Through Memory: The Novella That Found Me

Novella

Some stories don’t ask permission — they just show up, unpack their bags, and move into your head. This one’s been living rent-free in mine for months, and I finally gave in and started writing.

So I started writing a novella a couple months ago. I’ve mentioned it here briefly, but my current lack of motivation to work on blog posts is making me think it might be worth sharing chapters of this very alive story from time to time, and I thought I’d prepare you all for that! 😆

It’s not fully planned out, and it’s still very much in progress. It’s very raw & personal. It’s about the friend I’ve mentioned that I’ve been missing a lot lately. (Well, the first part of it is about him, & things that actually happened.) – I just appreciate giving a little more life to our relationship, and honoring what we had. Cuz it was pretty epic.

So I hope you’ll enjoy the ride as I work on it occasionally. (Don’t worry, my “regular” content will still be the primary focus on my blog. – This is just a “side quest”, if you will.)

The Spark That Wouldn’t STFU

About a year ago now, someone said something that reminded me of an old friend, and all kinds of memories came flooding back about him. Relentlessly, because I was starting to feel some burnout from a situation I’d been dealing with for a couple years prior.

He was always a source of love, comfort, & valuable perspective, even when he was dealing with his own struggles. He was someone I respected, admired, & adored immensely. His resilience & strength fed into my own and helped shape the woman I grew to be, even while he wasn’t around.

We never dated; our love was always platonic (though we probably would’ve jumped on each other if given the opportunity!!) I never felt that I was capable of loving him the way he needed & deserved, and I think he felt the same way. I always felt that friendship was definitely better than nothing, and I still would have his back forever if he’d let me.

He ghosted me after a misunderstanding that he apparently didn’t want to work out. Which was the worst heartbreak of my life, if I’m being completely honest.

With all those memories flooding back, along came the same unresolved grief I’d experienced over ten years ago but with a more mature perspective.

So I decided to try to turn it into something as beautifully chaotic as it is. Maybe it’ll help me find more peace with the situation, maybe not. But it deserves it’s tiny place in literary history, cuz it was a hell of a ride!

A Glimpse at the Story

Fair warning – the characters are ACCIDENTALLY named Jack & Sally. I say accidentally because he’s a fan of Nightmare Before Christmas, and that’s not at all what the names are in reference to lol! When trying to think of names, I decided the girl’s name would be Sally because that was my “pen name” online back then (because of the Foxboro Hot Tubs’ song by that name). Jack struck me as an “edgy guy name”. And then I realized what I had done…and decided not to care!

Ultimately, the story will follow Jack & Sally from when they met, and throughout decades. Obviously, a fair amount of the beginning is based on real memories, while the latter parts will drift into fiction based on experiences with other people in my life, including a little tragedy (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially “Jack”). For the most part though, it’s somewhere between a fun, lighthearted love story, and a reckoning.

Coffee, Chaos, and Chapter Two (And a Half)

So far, writing it has been a treat! I’ve really enjoyed reminiscing about how sweet & fun that relationship was. It’s really been filling my heart with the same love I felt back then.

I’m only about 2½ chapters in at this point. A couple spots were tough to figure out how to put together, but I think I managed. Everything that’s in there is in there for a reason.

I’m learning just how emotionally stoic I tend to be. And how passionate he tended to be. Which could balance us at times, and throw us extremely off balance at other times.

I’ve also realized just how much we genuinely loved each other. Which makes the heartache suck even more now than it did back then.

When do I find time to write? Mostly in the mornings, after I finish my essential focus work, and only if I don’t have a blog post to work on. In other words, rarely. But once I get started, I never wanna stop – I wish I could work on it all day every day! ❤️

The Heart Behind the Words

This story isn’t just a recall of events, but more of an extension of my life philosophy & heart. Lots of emotional territory will get explored, from love to loss, to healing & rebellion & a sense of identity (even when that gets shaken).

I’ll be sharing bits and pieces here as I go — maybe some full chapters, maybe just thoughts from the process. So if you like watching a story come alive in real time, stick around. This one’s going to be interesting.

What would you like to see — more “behind the scenes” posts or the chapters themselves?

And tell me this: what kind of stories haunt your mind until you write them down?

Let’s chat in the comments.

If this post resonated, give it a like, share it with a friend, and subscribe for more messy, heartfelt creative chaos.

Rock on. 🤘