Shifting Perspectives: A More Useful Way to Look at Life

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Sometimes, the way we view our circumstances can either propel us forward or hold us back. It’s not about dismissing how we truly feel but about finding a perspective that’s more useful, more productive, and ultimately more empowering.

The Power of Perspective

Life is rarely black and white. The same situation can feel overwhelming or manageable, depending on the lens through which we view it. For example, a setback at work might initially feel like a failure, but shifting your perspective can reveal it as an opportunity to learn, grow, or even pivot in a new direction.

The key is to acknowledge your emotions without letting them dictate your entire outlook. It’s okay to feel frustrated, disappointed, or even stuck. But once you’ve processed those feelings, ask yourself: Is there another way to look at this?

When my ex left after nearly 11 years, I was understandably devastated for a week or so – Then I realized that, while we were meant to be together for a time, we’d definitely pushed it beyond its “best by date”.

Why Perspective Matters

Perspective shapes our reality. When we’re stuck in a negative mindset, it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt or inaction. But when we consciously choose to reframe our thoughts, we open ourselves up to new possibilities.

For instance, instead of thinking, “I’ll never get this right,” try, “This is challenging, but I’m learning something valuable.” This subtle shift doesn’t erase the difficulty of the situation, but it does make it feel more manageable.

I’ve been learning about shifting perspectives in unexpected ways — sometimes through everyday moments with my step-daughter, and sometimes through heartbreak I’ll never fully understand. With both, I’m reminded that while I can’t control how the story ends, I can choose what lessons I carry forward.

How to Shift Your Perspective

  1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Start by recognizing how you truly feel. Suppressing emotions only makes them harder to process.
  2. Ask Reflective Questions What’s another way to look at this situation? What’s the lesson here? How can I grow from this?
  3. Focus on What You Can Control Instead of fixating on what’s out of your hands, direct your energy toward actionable steps.
  4. Practice Gratitude Even in tough times, there’s usually something to be grateful for. Shifting your focus to these positives can help balance your perspective.

The Balance Between Honesty and Optimism

Shifting your perspective doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine. It’s about finding a balance between honesty and optimism. You can acknowledge the challenges while still looking for ways to move forward.

For example, if you’re feeling stuck in your career, you might say, “I’m not where I want to be, but I have the skills and determination to get there.” This approach validates your current experience while keeping the door open for progress.

Final Thoughts

Life is full of ups and downs, and how we choose to view those moments can make all the difference. By shifting your perspective, you’re not undermining your feelings—you’re giving yourself the tools to navigate them more effectively.

So the next time you’re faced with a challenge, take a moment to step back and ask yourself: Is there a more useful way to look at this? You might be surprised at how much of a difference it can make.

I don’t always get this right — sometimes rumination still spirals into negativity — but reminding myself to ask, ‘Is there another way to look at this?’ has pulled me out of so many mental ruts.


Thanks for reading! If this resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might need a little perspective shift today.

👉 What perspective shift has changed YOUR life? Drop it in the comments — your story might be exactly what someone else needs today.

Rock on!

Real Talk: How to Function When Life Super Sucks

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Let’s Get Real : When Happiness Feels Like a Scam

It seems like everyone’s always chasing happiness, as though it’s the ultimate goal of life. Romanticizing happiness like that, however, can really just set us up for failure, especially when we feel like we’re just struggling to survive.

Here’s a little truth bomb for thought, from Mark Manson – “Comfort with your core misery is a form of happiness.” I suppose accepting, understanding, and approaching with compassion your underlying (angst, sadness, or whatever) is the key to freedom from its control.

Even Stoic philosopher king Marcus Aurelius was dealt a super shitty hand throughout his life, yet he showed up for it. Every. Damn. Day.

How to Deal When It All Feels Pointless

“We continue to rise because it’s the only way forward.” – Ryan Holiday

  1. Start with the basics (especially if you’re at rock bottom) :
  • Eat something that didn’t come out of a crinkly wrapper. Your mind, just like your body, needs actual nutrients to feel good.
  • Move your ass, even if it’s just a casual stroll.
  • Sleep, hydrate, repeat.

2. Don’t numb out. You’ll only cause yourself more problems.

  • No drugs. No binges. No “maybe if I just…” decisions.
  • That one night stand? Definitely not the solution!
  • Therapy & medication are tools, not weaknesses. If your brain is sick, help it heal – no one worth a shit is judging you.

What to Do Instead of Spiraling

  • Journal. And get ugly about it. Be honest, even if it’s petty & especially if it’s dark. Then flip the script – What would you say to someone you love if they were feeling the way you do?
  • Lean on your people, even if it feels awkward or vulnerable. Any decent human will want to lift another up.
  • Do one tiny thing to look forward to. A creative project, a cheap vacation, plan a local hike, or learn something weird on YouTube.
  • Volunteer. Sometimes, giving a shit about someone else helps us give a shit about ourselves again.
  • Develop healthy routines to help you get through each day.

When You Feel Like Nobody Cares

Quick sad story – My mom died at home of complications from ALS four days after my 15th birthday. (Worst. Birthday. Ever.) I remember sitting on the couch in front of her while my aunt called the coroner & distant family members in the other room, and my father did shots & smoked cigarettes with my uncle outside. I asked myself, “now what do I do? How do I grieve? How do I move forward from this?” And then I realized I was left alone with the empty shell of my mom. And I screamed in agony, feeling like I didn’t matter.

This just magnified my tendency to shut down and disappear when I’m in pain. As an adult, I try hard to consciously choose not to revert to that – I try to make sure I reach out to others just to say “hi, how are ya?!?” (even though I feel like no one does that in turn).

A little reminder (for myself, & you)…

If you ever feel like no one gives a fuck – you’re not alone, or broken, or anything like that. That pain has a root. But isolation isn’t really going to make anything better. Reach out anyway – you’ll never know if some light will reach back otherwise.

Selective Apathy : A Survival Skill in a Loud World

“Let the chaos settle, & clarity will follow”

From there, we need to focus on caring deeply about things that matter to us, & not at all about things that drain us. Mindfulness is a matter of noticing where your energy goes unattended, & rerouting it with intention.

According to the Dalai Lama (& a million philosophers before him), the only constant in life is change. Suffering occurs as a natural response when we are resistant to change. When we are capable, we need to let go – accept it, so we can address it & turn it around by finding any possible meanings & lessons hidden beneath the pain.

You Don’t Have to Be Happy to Live Well

You’re not broken because you’re not blissed out. You’re still here. Still trying. And that definitely matters. You are not alone, and the world is better with you in it. Feel & live loud, even if it gets a bit ugly at times. The golden rule in life, in my opinion, is to do whatever you want so long as you don’t hurt anyone, including yourself.

If you’re in the thick of it right now — I see you. Keep doing the next right thing, even if it’s tiny. Leave a comment, message me, or just save this for later. You’re not alone in the mess.

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Rock on!