It’s spooky season again, so I thought I’d bring back last year’s ghost stories — all true, all strange, and all unforgettable :
Ghost Story #1 : The Man of the House
Ghost Story #2 – The Ouija Board
Whether you believe in ghosts or not, these stories still give me chills.
What’s the creepiest thing you’ve ever experienced? Tell me in the comments!
Happy Halloween everyone!!! 🎃🖤
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Rock on!
I don’t want to keep you all waiting, so here’s the first chapter of the novella I’m working on 😊
If you have no clue what I’m talking about, you can read my intro here : Writing My Way Through Memory: The Novella That Found Me
However, I did fail to mention in my intro post that the chapter titles are going to be referencing song titles for various reasons. You’ll see!
Without further ado…
I’ve never been very good at making friends. I was an only child growing up, and I was always a little “weird”, so that doesn’t help.
That’s probably why I liked gas station jobs so much. Nobody expects depth from you there — just a transaction, a smile, maybe a joke if the moment feels right. You meet everyone: the kids with loose change and sticky fingers, the wealthy guy in a suit barking into his phone, the quiet woman who only buys scratch-offs, the old man who needs company as much as cigarettes. In those fleeting moments, you get the entire spectrum of humanity. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, you get to leave a spark behind.
“The Apple” was the fourth store I worked at, but my first in a city. The sheer volume of feet walking through the doors was exhilarating – The constant noise of chatter, cooler doors opening & closing, receipts printing, people complaining. Some people would hate that chaos. I found my zen.
That day, the line was brutal. I was dealing with a woman who suddenly decided she needed everything within reach — chips, gum, batteries, a lighter she’ll never use. Her pile on the counter in front of me grew by the second. I plastered on my polite smile, though inside I was trying to figure out where I could bury her without getting caught.
Then I noticed someone peeking around her. Over the course of what felt like a million glances between us, I’d noticed arms covered with vibrant ink that looked like stories etched into skin, a NOFX shirt worn soft at the edges, camo cargo shorts, and the kind of stance that said he was comfortable in his own chaos – my “type”, wrapped up in an adorable little package.
Then our eyes met.
“Oh, shit,” I thought, as goosebumps covered my arms. His eyes were the most dangerous shade of blue I’d ever seen: sharp, alive, sparkling with beautiful trouble. Something about him felt familiar, like we’d been circling each other across lifetimes. Married in another universe, maybe. Strangers here. I was officially intrigued.
My coworker called him over to her register – “Camel Wides,” he said. A million more glances between us for those few seconds while she cashed him out.
He glanced at me once more, the shy smile of a kid with a crush this time, then walked out the door.
I told myself that was that. A fleeting spark. Something to tuck away and smile about later.
Still, curiosity gnawed at me. As soon as my line cleared, I leaned toward my coworker.
“What’s his deal?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, that’s just Jack. He flirts with everyone.”
“Noted,” I muttered, pretending I didn’t care. But I kinda did.
A couple hours later, the store phone rang.
“Hi, is this Sally?”
“Yep,” I replied.
“I was just in there a little bit ago, I don’t know if you remember – bald guy with tattoos? I think I forgot something while I was there.”
“Where, on the counter??” I said as I started looking around.
“No, I forgot to ask for your number.”
There it already was – the infamous “flirts with everyone”.
Part of me wanted to laugh, part of me wanted to give him my number, and part of me remembered my reality.
I took a steadying breath. “Well, I appreciate the offer, but… I’m in a relationship.”
A soft pause. “Fair enough. Worth a shot.”
We said goodbye. I hung up, convinced that was the end of it.
Holy hell was I wrong.
Next thing I know, I had a friend request on Facebook.
“How’d you find me on Facebook?!?” I asked.
“Well, you’re the only Sally who works at The Apple in town. So…it wasn’t that hard,” he chuckled.
“Better question I guess would be why did you find me on Facebook?” I was mildly creeped out. Still intrigued though.
“I want to get to know you. Is that ok?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Over the course of months, we got to know each other a little bit.
One night, we went outside the store to hang out for a few minutes.
“Everything kinda sucks right now,” he said with a duller tone than usual. “So I signed up to go to Iraq in November. To get away from ‘normal’ life for a bit. Maybe get some perspective. Or at least some distraction.”
“You’re in the army?!?” I asked.
“10 years and counting!”
He went on. “I got a TBI a few years ago, on duty. I don’t even know what happened, other than I was knocked out for a few minutes. Apparently nothing too serious, but I do get symptoms of a stroke sometimes. Nobody knows why – Nothing shows on MRI scans.”
Where was this coming from all of a sudden? He’d never really opened up to me before – always just passing conversation when he’d stop in for gas or whatever. I couldn’t help but wonder what brought this on, but I wasn’t about to pry.
“I’m not gonna lie, you really don’t seem like the ‘army’ type to me…whatever that means,” I admitted.
He shrugged. “I’m also a corrections officer. And I used to be a cop.”
My heart jumped into my throat. Maybe he’s not so much my “type”.
“Why the hell would you do that?!?” I said half jokingly. He always seemed so chill, & fun. I could see if he were an EMT or something like that. But law enforcement?!?
“I knew I could.”
I laughed. “Well, I could’ve been a prostitute, but that doesn’t mean I should!”
“Good point,” he smiled.
“What else should I know about you?” I asked inquisitively.
“Hm. Well…I’m divorced. I have 3 kids with my ex wife. We were stationed together in Washington, and then she ran off across to country with the kids. That’s how I ended up here – I’m not about to let her keep them from me for no good reason.”
I was shocked. Why would she do that to him?!? She must have had her reasons, but I can’t imagine he could deserve that. There must be more to know…
“3 kids!? How old are you?!?” I asked.
“35. How old are you?”
“23” I giggled shyly. “Zero kids…so far!”
“Don’t rush it, trust me!” he smiled & shook his head at himself.
November came & went. He never gave me the chance to give him a hug & wish him well before he left, so I assumed I’d never see him again.
Again.
An opportunity to work at a hospital and make more money came along, so I took it.
And I didn’t hesitate to look back. At least, that’s what I thought at the time.
What did you think of Chapter One? I’d love to know if any moments stood out to you — drop a comment below or share your favorite line.
Stay tuned for Chapter Two — and hit “like” & “subscribe” if you’re along for the ride.
Rock on. 🤘
Some stories don’t ask permission — they just show up, unpack their bags, and move into your head. This one’s been living rent-free in mine for months, and I finally gave in and started writing.
So I started writing a novella a couple months ago. I’ve mentioned it here briefly, but my current lack of motivation to work on blog posts is making me think it might be worth sharing chapters of this very alive story from time to time, and I thought I’d prepare you all for that! 😆
It’s not fully planned out, and it’s still very much in progress. It’s very raw & personal. It’s about the friend I’ve mentioned that I’ve been missing a lot lately. (Well, the first part of it is about him, & things that actually happened.) – I just appreciate giving a little more life to our relationship, and honoring what we had. Cuz it was pretty epic.
So I hope you’ll enjoy the ride as I work on it occasionally. (Don’t worry, my “regular” content will still be the primary focus on my blog. – This is just a “side quest”, if you will.)
About a year ago now, someone said something that reminded me of an old friend, and all kinds of memories came flooding back about him. Relentlessly, because I was starting to feel some burnout from a situation I’d been dealing with for a couple years prior.
He was always a source of love, comfort, & valuable perspective, even when he was dealing with his own struggles. He was someone I respected, admired, & adored immensely. His resilience & strength fed into my own and helped shape the woman I grew to be, even while he wasn’t around.
We never dated; our love was always platonic (though we probably would’ve jumped on each other if given the opportunity!!) I never felt that I was capable of loving him the way he needed & deserved, and I think he felt the same way. I always felt that friendship was definitely better than nothing, and I still would have his back forever if he’d let me.
He ghosted me after a misunderstanding that he apparently didn’t want to work out. Which was the worst heartbreak of my life, if I’m being completely honest.
With all those memories flooding back, along came the same unresolved grief I’d experienced over ten years ago but with a more mature perspective.
So I decided to try to turn it into something as beautifully chaotic as it is. Maybe it’ll help me find more peace with the situation, maybe not. But it deserves it’s tiny place in literary history, cuz it was a hell of a ride!
Fair warning – the characters are ACCIDENTALLY named Jack & Sally. I say accidentally because he’s a fan of Nightmare Before Christmas, and that’s not at all what the names are in reference to lol! When trying to think of names, I decided the girl’s name would be Sally because that was my “pen name” online back then (because of the Foxboro Hot Tubs’ song by that name). Jack struck me as an “edgy guy name”. And then I realized what I had done…and decided not to care!
Ultimately, the story will follow Jack & Sally from when they met, and throughout decades. Obviously, a fair amount of the beginning is based on real memories, while the latter parts will drift into fiction based on experiences with other people in my life, including a little tragedy (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially “Jack”). For the most part though, it’s somewhere between a fun, lighthearted love story, and a reckoning.
So far, writing it has been a treat! I’ve really enjoyed reminiscing about how sweet & fun that relationship was. It’s really been filling my heart with the same love I felt back then.
I’m only about 2½ chapters in at this point. A couple spots were tough to figure out how to put together, but I think I managed. Everything that’s in there is in there for a reason.
I’m learning just how emotionally stoic I tend to be. And how passionate he tended to be. Which could balance us at times, and throw us extremely off balance at other times.
I’ve also realized just how much we genuinely loved each other. Which makes the heartache suck even more now than it did back then.
When do I find time to write? Mostly in the mornings, after I finish my essential focus work, and only if I don’t have a blog post to work on. In other words, rarely. But once I get started, I never wanna stop – I wish I could work on it all day every day! ❤️
This story isn’t just a recall of events, but more of an extension of my life philosophy & heart. Lots of emotional territory will get explored, from love to loss, to healing & rebellion & a sense of identity (even when that gets shaken).
I’ll be sharing bits and pieces here as I go — maybe some full chapters, maybe just thoughts from the process. So if you like watching a story come alive in real time, stick around. This one’s going to be interesting.
What would you like to see — more “behind the scenes” posts or the chapters themselves?
And tell me this: what kind of stories haunt your mind until you write them down?
Let’s chat in the comments.
If this post resonated, give it a like, share it with a friend, and subscribe for more messy, heartfelt creative chaos.
Rock on. 🤘
Technically, May is ALS Awareness Month — but for me, the awareness never ends. I live with it every October.
Which super sucks because my allergy season starts at the end of August & lasts throughout September. Couple that with always catching the same cold everyone gets at the end of September, and my body & mind is just shot by the time October rolls around.
October is my birth month. But it’s also the anniversary of my mom passing away. So…everything sucks.
Brace yourself for some “heavy shit”. I’d like to share why I am the way I am, what shaped my perspectives as I grew up, and how I’m doing right now.
I actually started writing a post explaining my family’s history with ALS, but it’s still sitting unfinished in my drafts because it depresses the fuck out of me. I’ll probably share it sometime though.
My mom got sick when I was 14, right around Thanksgiving. She started having trouble swallowing & speaking because she had “bulbar onset ALS”, which means her tongue was becoming paralyzed.
In the months that followed, I became a major caregiver for her. I found myself helping her on the phone & in person with debt collectors, doctors, everyone. It got to the point where I was the only one who could still understand what she was saying without her having to write anything down.
Then she couldn’t swallow at all anymore. So, she had a GI tube placed in her stomach so she could still get some nutrition. I helped “feed” her, and with cleaning the tube.
Nobody bothered to tell me that ALS progresses aggressively in our family – until recently, no one’s survived longer than 18 months from the onset of symptoms. I thought I had time.
By the time the school year started, she was in pretty rough shape. But I was still more than happy to continue my duties as a caregiver. However, my mom’s sister had other plans. She stepped in to help, ultimately pushing me out of the way so I could “focus on school”. (How the fuck was I supposed to focus on school with my mom wasting away at home? I digress…)
October rolled around, and she was rapidly getting weak in her limbs. Hospice was welcomed in. A hospital bed was placed in the living room for her. One of the aides stole money from my parents. Her diaphragm had become paralyzed & she refused to be intubated (because at that point, the stark reality of the situation is “why bother?”) Everything sucked.
Four days after my 15th birthday, she passed away.
I was in my room listening to Rancid after dinner. Between songs, I heard a terrible noise from out in the living room. So I stopped & listened at the door. I knew I didn’t want to face the situation; I knew what was happening. So I spent a moment trying to find the courage to face the reality.
I walked out & stopped in the doorway to the living room. My mom’s spit sucker was full of blood, and she was laying there lifeless with my dad, aunt, & uncle crying around her. She’d died of respiratory failure – in other words, she’d just choked to death on her own blood. The terrible noise was my aunt’s despair. The whole thing was horrific. Happy fuckin’ birthday.
My dad walked up & gave me a hug; that’s literally the only time I’d ever seen that man cry. When he let go, I walked over & held my aunt as she repeatedly screamed “I’m sorry, I did everything I could”. I didn’t shed a tear. Because that’s how I am – deal with the situation, & get emotional about it later.
As a side note… There were a couple things I’d found out about much later that I wish I’d known sooner. For example, my mom had sleeping pills that she wanted to use before things got too bad for her to use them, and my aunt told her “she couldn’t do that to (me)”. Had I known, I would’ve not only given them to her to shorten her horrific suffering, I would’ve been able to say good bye.
Well…
I sat on the couch in front of her. My dad & uncle went outside to smoke cigarettes & drink for a little bit, while my aunt went in the kitchen to call the coroner & family members. They were understandably traumatized.
I got to thinking about how a body is just a shell. That this corpse in front of me was not my mom; my mom was with me in spirit. I could feel it.
Eventually, our vessels will fail us all. It doesn’t necessarily mean the end of our existence, though none of us truly know what happens in the next phase.
Then I realized I was sitting alone with my mother’s still twitching corpse. I got it in my head that this is how it is – I’m alone in dealing with everything for the rest of my life; I’m expected to be there for everyone else, and I don’t deserve anyone being there for me. After all, I was barely 15, sitting alone with my mother’s still twitching corpse.
And I screamed in devastated rage. I can still feel it, I can still hear myself. No one should have to feel like that.
My aunt came running & wrapped her arms around me. She told me “I know”. No, you have no idea. Everyone had already abandoned me & my grief. You can’t really come back from that.
Fast forward to the funeral a few days later…
Everyone met at my grandma’s house. When it was time to leave for the church, I was forced toward the front of the line out the door.
She had a doorway from the kitchen to the stairs where the basement was, and then another doorway to the sun room, and then a doorway out of the house.
It was pouring all day. Quiet thunder rumbled in the distance.
The very second I stepped foot in the doorway to the sun room, it was like lightning struck in the yard – the loudest boom I’ve ever heard in my life & everything went completely white for a moment. I stopped dead in my tracks & was immediately hit with the idea that “this is the dawning of the rest of my life”. My aunt gently pushed me out the doorway.
And that’s the attitude I felt the need to develop from there on – You don’t get to stop, you don’t get to feel. You just keep going, pushing forward, else you’ll get sucked into a pit of despair.
I know better. I even knew better then. It inevitably always catches up to you eventually. But I had no choice; I was pushed out the door without acknowledgement.
At her funeral, I stood away from everyone. I wore a beautiful black velvet dress and held a red rose that someone had given me. I looked stunning.
But everyone seemed scared of me. Most of them didn’t even know who I was, nor did I know them. Why were they even there?!? They weren’t around my whole life, they weren’t around when she was sick… Why bother being there at her funeral, “honoring” her & “expressing” condolences? I was infuriated. But at least I looked good… Ugh.
I’d forgotten about all of these things for years after.
About 10 years later, I got it in my head that I’d like to advocate for ALS awareness & research. So I decided to start by participating in the local “Walk to Defeat ALS” fundraiser.
Even my family members didn’t donate. (Well, I think one forked over 20 bucks.)
During that time, I found myself researching my family’s history with the disease online. Much to my surprise (& horror), there’s a lot more articles about us than I ever imagined. (And many many more now.)
That’s when I learned that we have one of the most aggressive SOD1 mutations in recorded medical history. Unlike everyone else who gets ALS, hereditary or sporadic, it wipes us out incredibly quick. And if we want to bother getting tested to find out whether or not we’ve been cursed with the gene, a positive result for the mutation means there’s a 96% chance that that’s our death sentence.
The genetic time bomb ticks louder in my ear every year. Even though I’ve never been tested.
It was at this time that all these memories came flooding back to me. I’d apparently repressed them, and they came back like a raging wildfire, tearing me the fuck apart in the process.
All those memories came back about a year after my father had his first stroke & cancer, and I was his only caregiver (for 12 years after, until he passed away).
And that was also when I lost my friend that I’ve mentioned briefly in previous posts…. Because I was too overwhelmed to know how to express all this to him properly.
Here we are.
I’m mentally & emotionally burned out from staying strong for the sake of taking care of my family during some chaos that lasted much too long.
So give me some grace as I work through all this mess – I’ll keep up with my weekly posts as best I can (& they should be more uplifting than this one!)
And thank you for giving me the space to vent – I hope I didn’t ruin your day LOL ❤️
If you’ve ever carried a loss that never fully leaves, know you’re not alone. Writing about it helps — even if it takes decades to find the words.
Rock on, and take care of your heart. ❤️
“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
eating – SOUP!! 😋
drinking – Barefoot Zinfandel, warm lemon water
watching – I haven’t really been into too many shows lately. Twisted Metal & You are still favorites. I like Joel McHale as the host of the 1% Club, and I absolutely loathe Martin Short as host of Match Game (come back, Alec!! 😭)
reading – “The Last Time They Met”, by Anita Shreve (it’s a little dry so far). Finished “One Italian Summer” last month – it was good, kinda interesting premise, but a bit too drawn out for me to ever want to read it again lol
playing – Nothing, really
buying – Everything in Spirit Halloween LOL
listening to – At this particular second, “21 Guns” by Green Day
celebrating – My birthday, I guess 😅, Halloween
pinning – “Free Spirit”, “Funny Shit”, & “Food”
planning – On getting some tattoos and maybe going to the casino buffet for my birthday
feeling – Egh. Whatever. lol
“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
eating – I’M EXCITED FOR SOUP SEASON!!! 😂😋
drinking – Barefoot White Zinfandel (in moderation, lol) 🍷
watching – Peacemaker has been surprisingly entertaining lol. Same with Twisted Metal.
reading – Still working on One Italian Summer, but still enjoying it
playing – Wishing I had time to try Roblox, cuz my kids are obsessed (and I’m sure I would be too lol)
buying – Halloween decor that I definitely don’t need 😂 Pair Eyewear tops (I’m obsessed!!)
listening to – Chasing Rainbows by RHH & Dilemma by Green Day are still favorites
celebrating – apple cider season hehe
pinning – planners, self care, free spirit, & tattoos
planning – on not losing my mind lol
feeling – overwhelmed, & apathetic, but hopeful
Sometimes grief doesn’t come from death — it comes from silence. From a friendship that once burned bright and then vanished without explanation. This poem spilled out of me in still trying to process the loss of someone who once felt like home. It’s messy, raw, and probably imperfect… but so was our bond.
What the fuck happened?
Seems I’ll never understand.
Like a whirlwind of emotions;
your sleight of hand.
Mutual love, compassion,
freedom of our fucking souls.
Someone to lean on in a storm—
bestie goals.
Is it really worth it,
to be so mad?
Is it really worth it,
to throw away what we had?
Your silence is deafening;
none of this makes sense.
We could’ve figured it out
with a bond that intense.
What could be, would be, should be,
before it’s too late.
This animosity wasn’t written
to be our fate.
But nothing’s changed;
what more can I do?
Just keep on keepin’ on,
without you.
I’ll stitch up my heart,
just like before.
Burn bright in your darkness—
I’ll always love you more.
What the fuck happened?
Where’s your vibrant fucking glow?
Your stubbornness knows no bounds.
Guess I’ll never fucking know.
Losing someone you love — whether a friend, a partner, or a soulmate of any kind — can feel like a death without a funeral. Writing this helped me grieve, rage, and remember.
Fuck it — grief is messy, love is messy, friendship is messy. But maybe we don’t have to process it alone. Drop a thought, a rant, or a poem of your own in the comments. Let’s build a little corner of honesty together.
Rock on!
PS — What sparked this?
For a few years, my family was caught in chaos, and I was the one holding it all together. That kind of weight leaves you drained in ways you don’t even notice until later.
I think that’s why memories of this friend hit me so hard when they resurfaced – We once leaned on each other & lit each other up when we had nothing left.
I tried reaching out — not out of selfishness, but out of hope. Hope that maybe we could move forward, even just as friends. But silence was my answer.
So I’m left with this strange space: not fully grieving, not fully heartbroken, just carrying a fire I once borrowed from him. A fire I’ll keep tending, in the life I’ve built.
I’ve lost over 15 pounds! 😁👍
That’s halfway to my goal!! 🥳
Ever since my doctor told me my cholesterol was “elevated” (though, as I’ve been told by everyone else, “whose isn’t?!?”), I made an honest effort to make some changes to my health.
My main goal is to feel better, however. A better mindset has been the most rewarding side effect of all the dieting & exercise I’ve been doing the past couple months – weight loss & toned muscles are just a bonus.
Let’s review my efforts so far…
I’ve been following a “mindful eating” diet plan set up with the help of ChatGPT. It helped me set up a schedule so that I wouldn’t get too hungry by dinnertime (& thus shovel a bunch of food in my face).
Here’s what that looks like :
I don’t follow this strictly, but it’s been proving to be pretty good guidelines for me. I’m trying to focus on eating mostly veggies & protein. Through ideas from Tim Ferriss’ slow carb diet, part of my weekly “do nothing day” includes “going crazy” (which has definitely helped me keep my sanity!) And on days when we find ourselves on an adventure, I just try to stay mindful of what I order out (without depriving myself of the glorious BBQ of summer!)
I’ve also been counting calories using an app called “My Net Diary”. It makes sense to take in fewer calories than you burn off throughout each day, so it’s been making me more aware of what I’m eating. And I love it!
“Don’t drink calories” has been a big realization for me – I didn’t realize how ridiculous my coffee creamer was! (Bet your ass I’ve got a generous amount of it plus a shot of Trader Vic’s macadamia nut liqueur in there on “go crazy day” though! 😋)
I forgot how much I love to exercise!
I started with just 5 minutes a day, and have built myself up to about 45 minutes (give or take).
I do different things daily, all movements that I love (which is key to maintaining the routine!) :
I’ve always been interested in belly dancing, and now that I’ve been doing YouTube videos regularly, I’m seriously considering signing up for a local belly dancing group. (How I would love to create & perform a routine to some ska & rockabilly – The thought of complementing “King For A Day” with the chimes of a bellydancing belt is just too adorable! 😊)
On “go crazy” days, I stick to just yoga, tai chi, and qi gong. And definitely not for 45 minutes!
I realized I have a bit of trouble with tai chi & qi gong because I’ve been practicing yoga for over 20 years. Yoga is about releasing energy and gradually improving flexibility, balance, & strength; where tai chi & qi gong are more about energy movement & manipulation, and range of motion. The movements in yoga tend to be more “grandiose” than those with tai chi, so I struggle to slow down and flow with the “chi”. But both types of movements have their appropriate times.
Well…heh…oops! 😬
(I’m such an asshole……)
I quit smoking over 6 years ago, when I was pregnant with my oldest. However, I vaped until a couple of months ago when I’d lowered the nicotine level in my vape so low that I realized it was all psychological habit instead of addiction. So I quit.
I kept a pack of Camels around that I’d smoke maybe one or two a year if shit hit the fan & I needed a little nihilism.
Well, I needed a little nihilism amidst my recent “mid-life crisis”, & now I’m smoking more than I’d like to admit.
I gotta quit. Again.
It’s honestly kinda low on my list of concerns, though, to be honest. (A post on that soon…probably.)
I’ve really been enjoying sneaking off to the nooks & crannies of my yard to see whatever nature I can while I’m out there though – hummingbirds, butterflies, chipmunks, & squirrels throwing crabapples at me.
I’ve been using Notion to help me keep track of everything (as always).
I have a database with a template set up to reset daily.
In the properties, I track how many fruits & veggies I eat each day, water, exercise types, calories, steps, cigs, and some other stuff.
The note itself contains my “mindful eating schedule”, a food log, exercise log, and space for reflections (I realized during yoga yesterday how cranky my knees have gotten omg!)
This is making it super easy to not only stay mindful throughout the day but also reflect & pivot as needed each week!
I’ve still got a long way to go, but I’m damn proud of how far I’ve come. If you’re working on your own health journey — remember, baby steps and curiosity go a long way. You’ve got this.
Have you started (or restarted) a health habit lately? Tell me about it — I’d love to hear.
If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.
Rock on!
“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life.
eating : salads
drinking : lime water
watching : “You”, on Netflix (I hated this show when it first came out. Now we’re into season 3 & I love it!)
reading : One Italian Summer by Rebecca Serle
playing : nothing really
buying : shorts! I have too many colorful & patterned items in my closet. I feel like a rainbow with legs LOL
listening to : “Out All Night” by the Pietasters is on right now
celebrating : lazy days of summer
pinning : empowering images, self care, pretty pics for Notion covers, yoga, travel
planning : family dates, maybe a party (cuz I desperately need to get drunk & burn shit LOL)
feeling : not too shabby!
Rock on!
A long time coming, here’s a post about my husband & me. We’re quite the interesting couple, & we’ve had quite an interesting marriage so far. This month marks our sixth wedding anniversary and eight years together!
As I’ve mentioned before, I used to work at several local gas stations. The first time I saw my husband was when I was probably about 20 years old – They say “you don’t meet the people you love, you recognize them”, & that was the case with my hubby. I’m not even sure why, but he intrigued me from the start. I’d seen him randomly over about 10 years, & always wondered why I didn’t see him more often, because I wanted to get to know this “eccentric older gentleman” – Come to find out the reason I didn’t usually see him is because he was stopping by on his way to car shows & he lived over an hour away.
The last time I saw him, I said hi when he came up to the counter, & he yelled “HIII!” more energetically than anyone I’ve ever met in my life – So, I said to him “you’re a spunky one, aren’t ya?!?” And that was it for a few years…
I was in a relationship with my ex for nearly 11 years before he admitted to cheating on me & wanting to split up. (That’s a story for another time.)
I was lost. Devastated. I ended up calling my mom’s sister (who I was never terribly close with, despite best efforts); she told me to call my cousin (who I was never a huge fan of…for many reasons lol); he told me to come camping at the property he just bought a couple years prior with his mom & brother. I needed to get out of the house, so I took him up on his offer.
Their campers were on the neighbor’s property — he let them hook up to his electricity. “Nicest guy in the world,” my cousin said. He was out partying with his brother the first time my cousin brought me out, but he insisted we hang out in the bar he built in his barn for weekend parties, and so we did. When he came home that night, on his pearlescent white Harley with blue road lights, dressed in full leather, he walked into the bar, yelled “HEYYY BUDDYYY!!!” & gave my cousin a big hug… In my head, I was like “oh my fucking god, it’s Mr Spunky!!!”
Every weekend after that, I found myself talking with this intriguing gentleman in his precious, maximalist deco barn bar. We talked about everything. We’d stay up til the birds started chirping. My cousin asked 32 year old me, “what on earth could you possibly have in common with a 56 year old man?!?” And I said, “apparently, a lot.”
(I’ll do the math for you – that’s a 24 year difference.)
We talked about everything before we even started dating. He’d been divorced for 2 years, after 30 years of being in an abusive marriage – I didn’t want either of us to rush into anything, especially considering neither of us wanted to waste each other’s or our own time because life is short & precious. His only kid, a daughter, is just over a year younger than me – I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I wanted kids of my own & hadn’t had any yet – he said he wanted a litter of kids & didn’t care if he had them at his age. I couldn’t move in with him because of taking care of my father (& because it snows like a bastard down there in the winter!) – he said he’d give it all up (the barn, the cars, everything) cuz “you can’t take it with you when you die” – I said I didn’t want to make him give anything up (and we worked all that out as we went along).
I slapped him so many fucking times. Told him he was too old for me. Told him we were moving too fast. Told him I didn’t want to rush into another relationship so soon after my last one ended. He loved it! He loves telling everyone how I damn near knocked him off his bar stool when he tried to kiss me the one time 😝
I loved his determination. He knew who he was, he knew what he wanted, & he wouldn’t stop til he got it 🥰
We never rushed anything. We never wasted time either.
He wanted to go to a Reel Big Fish show with me. He got all dressed up (which was adorable), slammed an energy drink, showed up in a Mustang, & drove me to the show. That motherfucker outdanced everyone in the circle pit, & loved every second of it! 😂 Afterwards, we went out to dinner. They sat us right next to a fireplace. He did that corny stretch & put his arm around my shoulders move, & that was it. After 2 months, I finally stopped fighting (slapping) him. I felt so safe & excited at the same time – that’s when we started dating.
(In case you’re wondering why I’m not sharing more “punky” songs – These are the songs that my cousin’s wife had playing in hubby’s bar every weekend when we hung out lol)
Not much to say here. Kind of.
He made me pick out my rings and his – mine is a beautiful sapphire with diamonds in a diamond shape around it; he has 2 (one for everyday wear, & one for fancy shit).
He even asked my dad’s permission first — because yep, we’re old-fashioned (and respectful) like that.
He made sure my cousins were at a local disco party held at a fancy restaurant, and he proposed as “Disco Batman” (though I made him take his mask off ). I was wearing a blond wig 🙃
Well, we won’t get into how 😂 But it was after a Ballyhoo / Badfish concert. (Thanks, guys!)
I legit thought “man, my allergies are so bad this year they got me throwing up every morning”.
And then I missed my period… 🤨
Not gonna lie, I wanted to elope.
I handmade all 100+ wedding invitations with a newborn snoozing nearby. “8:00 reception, 12 AM ceremony” (we wanted to make sure the people who liked us would stick around for the ceremony…& not be completely wasted.)
We ordered a pig & beef roast, and held a potluck for everything else – there was absolutely no shortage of amazing food & drinks for everyone to enjoy! There was a bounce house for the kids, & an antique firetruck for photos & a little education. Loud music, thanks to a DJ friend of Hubby’s. Everyone was encouraged to dress “steampunk”, & a lot more people showed dressed to the nines than we thought there would be! Entertainment galore!!
Just before the ceremony, Hubby rode around in his race car, and blew off a cannon & some fireworks with his brother. Mother nature even joined in with some heat lightning all around us, & kept us in a bubble during a crazy thunderstorm all around.
The ceremony was lit up by 4-wheelers. We jumped a little fire (to symbolize “I’d jump straight through hell for you”), and we all partied till dawn.
It was pretty epic; not gonna lie.
Then COVID hit.
No big deal for us, really. I remember hearing about all these women getting pregnant because they had nothing better to do, & saying to myself “nothing’s changed for us, so there’s no reason for me to end up with a COVID baby”.
And then I ended up with a COVID baby. 😂
That’s when Hubby started dealing with a bunch of stuff, which I may or may not mention in a future post. (Resulting in my emotional burnout).
I certainly can’t say our marriage is perfect. But here are a few things we’ve learned that keep things strong…
We’re a weird match. But we work — and we’re still dancing through the chaos, one vacuum-naked moment at a time.
Got an unconventional love story? Age gap marriage? Steampunk wedding? Tell me about it in the comments. Or share this post with someone who’d get a kick out of it.
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Rock on. 🖤
zen BLITZ 