“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
planner : I’m pretty excited, actually 🫠 I’m hoping to get back into planning parties this year, starting with our annual Crockpot & Retro Video Games party this month. I think it’ll be fun. Homeschool planning & meal planning are done for the month, so…yippie. And we gotta pick a day to go bowling!
self : Doing…pretty good, lol. Winter has my whole body, especially my sinuses, pretty cranky – no humidifier is powerful enough for this shit! But I’m been maintaining my mindful diet (for the most part) & my exercise routines (which I altered to allow for daily yoga, tai chi, & meditation). I’m not really losing much weight, but I’m not gaining any either! So that’s good. And despite occasional brain fog (cuz I sleep like absolute shit), I’m getting a bit more clear headed. I think. And I’ve been making more time for creative pursuits, which is pretty fulfilling.
marriage : Doing pretty good. We’re always trying to find ways to adjust & keep ourselves (& each other) entertained, hehe
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good. Again, no injuries to report, so…yay 😅 They’re both having a lot of fun with the kid’s makeup kit I got Bubby for her birthday. Oh, we went to Rainforest Cafe for Bubby’s bday, per her request. She loves that place!
I can’t believe my Bubby’s 5!!! 😭
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well. Bubby’s really enjoying the “Playing Preschool” curriculum, & she’s learning a lot, but she does miss doing computer work heh. BooBoo loves math (she even wrote up some math facts for Bubby on her birthday card, to “help her out for next year” lol!), and she also loves learning to play the “piano” (the keyboard we got for Xmas), especially the YouTube tutorials for K Pop Demon Hunters songs 🤪
zenBLITZ : Doing pretty good here. I’m ahead enough on my blog posts, and I created a “quote board” to post favorite quotes on my Facebook page. No progress on my novella, though – I haven’t had much time (or urge) to work on it lately, but that’s fine. I’ve been doing quite a bit of leather crafting & crochet, when I have time.
She’s more enthused than she looks, I swear 😂
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Yeah. Whatever. LOL. So help me god, we will being taking a trip this year!!!
witch : Daily yoga & meditation has been plenty fulfilling for me lately, hehe
Currently
eating – Soup. I love me some soup. 😋
drinking – Tea, wine, Skrewball peanut butter whiskey in my coffee sometimes
watching – The Traitors, Doom Patrol, leathercraft videos on YouTube
reading – Tao Te Ching, The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, & I just finished Show Your Work by Austin Kleon. I also finished “The Last Time They Met” by Anita Shreve, don’t know if I mentioned that – holy fuck what a slap in the face!
playing – Coin Master, Roblox
buying – Stuff I might need next month because I need a “no buy” month 😅
listening to – Saviors (album) by Green Day – Goodnight Adeline 💚
celebrating – Valentine’s Day? Candlemas! (Being halfway through this very wintery winter is definitely worth celebrating!)
“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
planner : Why is this even in my prompts anymore?!? 😅 Well, right now, I’m trying to plan for Hubby’s bday, but he won’t tell me what he wants to do, so… we’ll see where I can drag his ass out to (probably shopping & Olive Garden, we’ll see). I also have to plan Bubby’s bday, which is in a couple weeks – she’s no help either 😂
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Doing pretty good, though my diet’s been a bit of a challenge with the holidays – Life’s short, so I’ve been enjoying the hearty foods without going too overboard (nevermind the half bottle of Gerstacker spiced holiday wine I much too thoroughly enjoyed on Xmas Eve! 😜) I’ve kept up with my workouts, though I think I pulled muscle in my shoulder & my hip at some point, but they’re starting to feel better. I’ve been in a pretty good mood, despite the holiday stress. And I’ve found time to work on lots of crafts, both by myself and with the kids, so that’s been good.
marriage : We’re good. Nothing new. He’s excited that I’m excited to get into leatherworking because he’s done a bit of it in the past, mostly with upholstery though – He even got me a cheap manual leather sewing machine & spiffed it all up…now he’s just gotta show me how to use it lol! I’m hoping he gets inspired to work on some projects alongside me.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good; they had a nice Xmas. BooBoo was obsessed with singing “Feliz Navidad” for a few days there, which was a little much 😅 She was like Nancy fuckin’ Drew with these Shelf Elves all month! (We have 5 elves at this point.) Bubby’s excited over all her new dolls. No notable injuries to report this month, so that’s good 🤣
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : We’re doing good! Before winter break, I’d just started Bubby in Playing Preschool year 2 (and she was really enjoying it!) Because we homeschool year round, and because of all the holidays & birthdays this time of year, our winter break runs from halfway through December to halfway through January; so, we’ve been enjoying the break (all of us!)
zenBLITZ : I’ve been rocking my blog posts this past month! I managed to schedule quite a few, which I’m happy about. I started a Facebook page, where I’ve enjoyed sharing all kinds of things (including some fun songs on Xmas 🤣). No progress on my novella, which is fine, I just work on it when I feel like it. I managed to finish crocheting my step granddaughter’s baby blanket & my step daughter’s matching scarf in time for Xmas, though I apparently don’t know how to double crochet properly 😬 (it’s ok, the blanket didn’t turn out to be too much of a disaster lol sigh). I’m going to be working on a scarf for myself next, which I might share in a future blog post because it has a whole story associated with it. I’m also waiting on some materials to start leatherworking, which is super exciting! Most importantly – my blog hit 100 subscribers, & I can’t even begin to say how grateful I am to all of you who have liked, commented, & subscribed to my little blog over the past year – You fill my heart with such love, and I appreciate the hell out of every one of you!!! Thank you 💚
homemaker (finance, cleaning, travel, etc) : My credit card has just about melted, the house is a mess, and I don’t have the energy to leave the house let alone travel… 😅 All good, though!
Currently
eating – Santa’s cookies 😜
drinking – Spiced wine
watching – Celebrity Game Face
reading – Just finishing “The Last Time They Met” by Anita Shreve; got a couple books in the mail, including one that ChatGPT suggested I read next
playing – Coin Master, & Roblox with the girls (we got into a “super slap” match last night, & I don’t even know what the purpose of the game was LOL)
buying – bday gifts for Bubby, leatherworking supplies, books
“New year, new you!” You know that’s bullshit, on so many levels.
For one thing, pushing the reset button on the calendar year doesn’t change anything other than a number. People change over time — often quietly, unevenly, and without clean timelines – the dates don’t matter at all.
For another thing, there’s nothing wrong with you such that you need to completely “reinvent yourself” or whatever – Goals are intended for self respect, not self shaming or punishment for not being “good enough”. Everyone could benefit from improving their lives in certain ways, at certain times.
So, while I am writing this post for the new year, I’m going to share some reflections, practical steps, and a loving nudge for all of us to get our proverbial shits together whenever we need it, throughout the year.
Let’s be intentional about how we design our lives, shall we?
Step 1: Reflect Like You Mean It
(You might want to spread these reflection prompts out over a few days. Or weeks, whatever you need to do. 😉)
A. Role Review
Make a list of all of your roles in your life – whatever applies to you.
For example, mine are : myself, wife, mom, homeschool teacher, creator, & household manager.
It might seem like some of those things overlap, and they do because they’re collectively my life, but they’re also separate responsibilities.
What roles in your life carry their own responsibilities – are you a student? A volunteer? And even if your kids are adults, they still count, now just as much as ever.
Once you have your list, go through each role individually & ask yourself the following :
How do I feel about this area, as far as the associated responsibilities & the general vibe?
Why?
What, if anything, would I like to improve here?
No self judgment, just be honest.
If a role feels heavy or resentful, that’s information — not failure.
B. Define Your Ideal Life
Perfection isn’t reality.
Without that in mind, get wild with this one!
What, ideally, would make your life feel peak vibrant, authentic, & exhilarating? Spend a few minutes writing it out.
Make this personal: values-based, vision-based, aesthetic, emotional, or messy.
Dream big!
C. Optional Reflection Prompts
A few more things to ask yourself, if you’d like :
Where in my life am I proud of myself?
Where am I drained?
What’s one thing I’d change immediately if I could?
Step 2: Choose a Word of the Year
This doesn’t need to be too drawn out, and it doesn’t need to be for a whole calendar year.
Pick an anchor word to help you focus your efforts on for now – if it changes, change is good. Just pick one at a time, a truth to lean into for a while to serve as a compass & a reminder of the direction you’re going (which is forward 😉).
Examples I’ve used in the past : simplify, intent, & embody.
Write it somewhere you’ll see it regularly. Make a Canva design & hang it on your wall. Tattoo it on your arm if that’s your thing. Just don’t forget your reminder.
Step 3: The Brain Dump
Set a timer for at least five minutes and free write a list of anything on your mind. And, while you’re at it, everything.
No filtering, no performing as though it’s intended for anyone but you. Just get it all out of your head & onto paper.
Some loose categories to consider : Life + Work + Health + Wealth + Relationships. Maybe even consider some things from your “Fuck Yeah list” or childhood hobbies.
If your brain dump feels overwhelming, that’s the point — you’re emptying the clutter.
Step 4: Prioritize Intentionally
Go back through your brain dump and sort through it :
Hell Yes (non-negotiables or deeply aligned)
Maybe (park for later)
Hell No (things you’re carrying out of guilt or habit) – cross these right out
Then sort through the “Hell Yes” again, as well as your previous reflections – what things take priority for you, right now? What’s important to your wellbeing & sense of self? You really want to minimize this list as much as possible (no more than 2 or 3 things).
Step 5 : Identify the Why
For these priorities, ask yourself why those things matter to you.
Dig deep — the root motivation, the thing that will keep you going during slumps. Does it relate to your values, your identity, your direction in life?
Ask yourself – “If I lose motivation, what truth about this goal will get my ass in gear?”
Step 6: Build the Plan (Projects + Systems)
There are two main ways to execute on most goals – systems & projects.
Projects are time bound, outcome based goals with a definitive ending point. For example, planning a vacation or launching a product.
Systems are repeated behaviors, such as habits, routines, & processes. For example, I have my morning & evening routines, and our homeschool routine – all of these things include habits that better my life (& my kids), which is always the goal.
Pick no more than 1–3 major projects to work on or systems to develop to focus on this quarter.
An Optional Perspective : Experiments
If you have a bit more of a scientific mind, it may be helpful to view these new projects & systems as experiments.
Include:
Hypothesis
Test (action)
Evaluate
Implement or Pivot
“Experiments” remove failure-shame, because they’re just experiments. Try a thing, and if it doesn’t work, try something else.
Keep Yourself Accountable (Gently)
Some people like to tell their loved ones or an online community about their goals to help keep them accountable – they can keep those people updated on their progress.
While I kind of do that here on my blog a little bit, I prefer the visuals of habit tracking in my planners and reflecting regularly in my journals.
Whatever you do, choose something that feels supportive, not punishing if you don’t (or can’t) follow through.
Reflection + Adjustment
Reflection is key, especially if that’s your main accountability protocol.
Even if it’s not, you should definitely ask yourself regularly what’s working with your progress, what’s not working, and how you can make things better or easier for yourself.
For myself, I check off my habit tracker daily. Weekly, I review & see how the week went. And then monthly, I review my weekly reflections & see what I need to adjust.
Your timeframes & means of reflection may be different, but it’s essential to do if you want to see continuous improvements in life.
Real-Life Examples From My Current Goals
For nearly a year now, I’ve been focusing on a few things – my physical health, my writing & creativity, homeschooling, & my marriage. All of these things are major priorities for me for their own reasons, and that hasn’t changed.
For my health goals, I have a daily health log on Notion where I keep myself accountable for the food I eat throughout the days (I can be a bit of an “emo eater” sometimes). I keep a separate analog journal to log my weights & what exercise I do on a daily basis. Weekly, I review these logs & reflect on how I did in my analog journal. (And it’s been pretty neat seeing how my weights have changed over the course of months!)
I track what writing I get done daily in another analog notebook, and reflect on that each week as well. I never feel like I’m getting anything done, but my notebook reminds me that I do get stuff done & encourages me to keep at it!
We follow curricula for most of the girls’ homeschooling, and I’m constantly asking myself if we’re moving along at a reasonable pace. I adjust accordingly, and I keep track of progress on Notion, which makes it super easy when it comes to writing up quarterly reports!
Closing
You certainly don’t need a perfect plan to start, you just need to know where you want to go and what first steps to take on the journey.
One honest step is more powerful than a polished vision board.
Treat the coming year as an experiment in becoming more you, & let’s see where it takes us!
If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.
If you’re comfortable, share your word of the season or one priority in the comments — I love seeing how people design their lives differently!
And if you’d like to watch a video I enjoyed that kind of plays in to what this article was about, check this out 👇
Just about finished the biggest baby blanket ever made xD
Starting leathercrafting – Shouldn’t be too difficult, right? LOL
“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
planner : Gotta figure out what I’m giving everyone for Xmas, that’s for sure! 😆😵💫 I have some stuff ready, but I never feel like it’s “good enough” (I’m sure you know how that is…and it’s stupid).
self : Doing pretty good! I’ve kept up with my workouts, and I switched to a “mindful diet”, though I still use the schedule I mentioned a while ago. I haven’t been terribly cranky lately either, so that’s always good LOL! 😂 – I’ve been sticking to my routines & creating a lot of stuff, so I guess that’s keeping my mind occupied.
marriage : We’re doing well, thanks for asking 😂 We managed to get a couple date days in over the past month, which has been refreshing! 😁
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good, though their tempers aren’t. Heh 😑. Bubby got mad at BooBoo & threw her tablet at her, hit her smack dab in the middle of the forehead, & she’s probably gonna have a scar from it; BooBoo threw a chair for some reason the other day. So, I gotta figure out how to teach them better ways to deal with their big emotions…
BooBoo’s got a booboo 😬
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well! Now that we’re in full swing, I switched our routine up a bit & it’s been going pretty well. We’ve added some yoga & meditation into our routine, and while I work on one of them individually with the curriculum, hubby’s been working with the other on various things. Bubby’s really catching up with letter & number identification, so now I’m not sure if she’s dyslexic or not (I should just get her tested within the next year or so, I suppose).
Mini Yogis 😊
zenBLITZ : I’m really having fun! I’ve got a bunch of blog posts ready, & I’ve started chapter 4 of my novella! Also, I’m working on crocheting a blanket for my step granddaughter, and I’ve started experimenting with leatherworking! Now I just gotta figure out how to monetize something. Anything. 😅
homemaker : Yup. Still just…yep. I’ve finally started on my “dark half of the year” house cleaning projects! So that’s good 😊👍
witch : Yoga has been fulfilling enough for me lately; I don’t really want or need anything more spiritually at the moment. 🕉️
Currently
eating – Thanksgiving ham (cuz turkey is boring lol)
drinking – mint & fruity teas
watching – antenna TV cuz my Internet is down for no good reason
reading – The Last Time They Met by Anita Shreve
playing – Roblox with my kids, when our Internet is working
buying – Xmas & bday gifts!
listening to – lofi chillhop on Pandora, at the moment
Everyone has a story worth telling. Even if you think yours is boring, messy, or not original – it is yours, and that makes it powerful.
The world’s drowning in noise, but human honesty still cuts through like feedback at a punk show – AI can’t create real emotion or lived experience, try as it might.
Nothing Is New — But You Are
Literally everything that can be said & done, has been. Nothing’s truly “original” anymore. And that’s ok!
What is unique is your lens — your collection of scars, triumphs, and weird little details. Nobody has ever experienced all the details put together that make up your story, which is a beautiful thing.
And every time you share one of your many truths, someone else out in the world feels a little less alone.
The Healing Power of Sharing
On my second day working the floor as a patient care assistant in an ER, I came across a patient who had ALS & his wife. He was nearing the end, and my job for the moment was to hold his hand & try to keep him calm while he was intubated. It was heartbreaking, knowing a little bit about what he’d been though, & was about to go through, and the same for his wife, because of my own experiences in a caregiver’s role with the disease.
His wife was devastated; she knew what was coming in the days ahead. So, I sat beside her and talked – I introduced myself, mentioned a little bit about my family history with ALS & the caregiver role I’d found myself in, and offered a friendly soul to help her with whatever she needed while in my department (”a warm blanket? Coffee? A hug? I’m not far; I’ve got you!”)
I was asked to help escort him to the ICU when he was deemed stable enough for transport. At the entrance, I was told I could go back to the ER & his wife was told to stay at the door until he was successfully transferred. Overwhelming grief consumed her, and understandably so. So I held her while she cried, gave her a compassionate little pep talk based on what I’d gone through, and stayed until she was invited in with her husband.
Point is, telling your stories can heal you and someone else. That day I saw that stories aren’t just meant to be told — they’re meant to be handed off like torches, sharing some light in moments of darkness.
Finding Your People
The ones who don’t get it will judge — they always have, always will. But honesty attracts the right people, the ones who’ve been waiting for someone like you to speak up.
“Your people” aren’t found through perfection — they’re found through realness. And the more you share your stories, the more your people will find you.
Boundaries and Bravery
All that said, here’s a quick note on discernment — not everything needs to be public, and oversharing can sometimes hurt more than help. It’s always best practice to keep your private information away from the internet altogether as much as possible, and you should never say anything that would hurt yourself or anyone else in any way. Of course, there are exceptions to these “rules”. Thus, discernment.
But don’t let the simple fear of judgment silence you. Everything you say could go either way — and that’s okay.
Bravery isn’t about ignoring fear; it’s about telling the truth anyway. If someone doesn’t like it & decides to troll? – FUCK ‘EM! They’re not you, and oftentimes those who lash out do so out of fear or the inability to understand. And that’s fine – you do you.
The Punk Rock of Humanity & Humility
In a world that’s increasingly artificial (AI, social media perfection, etc.), your realness is your rebellion.
Every time you tell your story honestly, you’re flipping off the illusion of perfection. (And all perfection is illusion!)
Celebrate your chaos, your cringe, your truth by sharing it with the world — it’s what makes you irreplaceable.
Write it, paint it, sing it, whisper it into the void. Someone out there needs to hear it — maybe even you.
If this spoke to you, share it with someone who’s been holding their story back – The world needs more real voices!
And if you want more unapologetic inspiration like this, hit “like,” subscribe, and keep telling your truth.
I know I’ve vaguely mentioned some family chaos that’s occurred over the past few years – It settled down a bit earlier this year, & burnout from the whole situation set in for me.
I’m still burned out. And the chaos has reignited, in (not so) fun new ways.
So, what to do?!?
Focus on self care while plowing through the chaos- that’s all I can do.
Why Self Care Is Non-Negotiable
When you’re dealing with a bunch of shit in life, burnout is inevitable. You can push through all you want, but eventually you’re going to crash & burn.
It might not stop burnout, but it cushions the crash. In my experience, at least. (And I have more than my share of experience in this department, unfortunately.)
Of course, in the midst of true chaos, you probably don’t want to do anything. We all tend toward distraction in the forms of media or comfort foods, or whatever your unhelpful coping mechanism of choice may be.
That’s precisely when you need to shift your focus to self care – Make it just as much of a priority as the bullshit you’re dealing with. You need to maintain focus on your responsibilities, of course, but you also need to focus on your responsibilities to yourself.
Doing so will probably help with whatever emotional fuel is ruminating and adding to the dumpster fire of stress in your head.
When to Practice (Even When You’re Burned Out)
This depends on your situation, of course.
Mornings or evenings (or, ideally, both) seem to work for most people – Whenever you can find some peace to focus on your own wellbeing, if even just for short periods of time.
Figure out what times work best for you, and make an appointment with yourself – if not daily, as often as realistically possible. Even a weekly Do Nothing Day can go a long way!
What Self Care Can Look Like
It depends on you – what would fill your proverbial cup?
A pretty popular method recently has been the idea of a “dopamine menu”, where you list activities you can enjoy for various periods of time (5 minute “appetizers”, hour long “main dishes”, etc). Then when you find yourself with some free time, you choose something off your “menu” instead of doom scrolling or binging TV.
I don’t find myself with very much free time, to be honest.
But I do take time daily to focus on the core necessities of wellness : body, mind, heart, & soul.
Body : intentional physical movement
Mind : reading, learning, creating
Heart : socializing (if even just a quick text to someone I haven’t heard from in a while)
Soul : meditation, spending time outside
And this is where the Excitement Map also comes in handy – If you’re having trouble deciding which activities would soothe your soul in each of those categories, you may find some inspiration from yourself in the map (or “fuck yeah list”, whatever you’d like to call it. 😊)
When You Just Can’t Even
Some days, you’re not gonna meditate or stretch or write affirmations — you’re just trying to exist. And that’s fine. You’re not lazy; you’re overloaded. On those “ugh” days, just show yourself some grace and lower the bar. Drink some water. Get outside and take a few breaths of fresh air. Blast a song that reminds you you’re still alive. Do one tiny thing that says, “I’m still trying.” That’s enough.
I’d love to hear what your go-to self care habits are when life gets messy. Drop them in the comments — I’m sure we could all use some ideas!
If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.
“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on, based on the areas / roles in my life.
planner : Trying not to plan too much this month lol! I do need to figure out what we’re doing for Turkey Day though – not sure if my step daughter wants to come over or if she wants us to go over there…or if she wants us to piss off for that matter LOL. I always do ham, sausage stuffing, green bean casserole, & homemade mashed potatoes with homemade gravy…that’s all I care about 😜 (well, she does the casserole, & certainly better than I ever could! hehe)
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Ugh. Struggling a bit – “Chaos” has returned, & I’m certainly not recovered from the last round of it. Weight loss has slowed a bit because it’s hearty meal season and we’ve been too busy for me to stick to my exercise routine as strictly as I’ve been – I’ll figure it out though. When all else fails, prioritize self care! Oh, and we’ve all caught a cold. Shocker. 🤪
marriage : This is the “chaos”; nobody’s fault though, just a bit of a struggle. We’re working on figuring it out.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are doing well! Except Bubby threw Booboo’s tablet at her the other night & cut a little gash in her forehead (for someone who worked in an ER, I have an extremely low tolerance for blood…especially if it’s seeping from one of my precious little spawn LOL) – It bled quite a little bit, but it wasn’t anything that would require stitches. Bubby still feels really bad & has been catering to Booboo’s every whim LOL
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well. Booboo’s progressing on pace; she gets super frustrated sometimes, but she understands everything just fine. She’s just…me, LOL. I’ve still gotta figure out how to fit in Playing Preschool year 2 for Bubby, especially since we’re nearing the end of Easy Peasy PreK, & she’s still a little “behind”. Which is fine! She actually understands Booboo’s level of math quite a bit, which is impressive!! 😊
zenBLITZ : Hopefully I can get my head straight enough to write up some good posts soon! And work on my novella! The past month though, I crocheted a Barbie blanket for a practice project, & started a massive baby blanket for my step granddaughter hehehe ❤️
watching – Game shows. I love me some 1% Club & The Floor hehe
reading – The Last Time They Met by Anita Shreve. Have I mentioned this yet? It was on the library “discard” shelf, & it sounded kind of interesting, so I thought I’d save it from the recycling bin. I’ve enjoyed it so far (I’m only about 1/4 the way through), though it is a bit slow & dry…LOL.
playing – Nothing, really. Though I ordered the original Tomb Raider for hubby, & it should be coming today. So maybe I’ll be playing that a little bit. I’d probably rather play Fable though heh
buying – Xmas gifts. And bday gifts for hubby & Bubby. Never too early to stock up!
Some stories don’t ask permission — they just show up, unpack their bags, and move into your head. This one’s been living rent-free in mine for months, and I finally gave in and started writing.
So I started writing a novella a couple months ago. I’ve mentioned it here briefly, but my current lack of motivation to work on blog posts is making me think it might be worth sharing chapters of this very alive story from time to time, and I thought I’d prepare you all for that! 😆
It’s not fully planned out, and it’s still very much in progress. It’s very raw & personal. It’s about the friend I’ve mentioned that I’ve been missing a lot lately. (Well, the first part of it is about him, & things that actually happened.) – I just appreciate giving a little more life to our relationship, and honoring what we had. Cuz it was pretty epic.
So I hope you’ll enjoy the ride as I work on it occasionally. (Don’t worry, my “regular” content will still be the primary focus on my blog. – This is just a “side quest”, if you will.)
The Spark That Wouldn’t STFU
About a year ago now, someone said something that reminded me of an old friend, and all kinds of memories came flooding back about him. Relentlessly, because I was starting to feel some burnout from a situation I’d been dealing with for a couple years prior.
He was always a source of love, comfort, & valuable perspective, even when he was dealing with his own struggles. He was someone I respected, admired, & adored immensely. His resilience & strength fed into my own and helped shape the woman I grew to be, even while he wasn’t around.
We never dated; our love was always platonic (though we probably would’ve jumped on each other if given the opportunity!!) I never felt that I was capable of loving him the way he needed & deserved, and I think he felt the same way. I always felt that friendship was definitely better than nothing, and I still would have his back forever if he’d let me.
He ghosted me after a misunderstanding that he apparently didn’t want to work out. Which was the worst heartbreak of my life, if I’m being completely honest.
With all those memories flooding back, along came the same unresolved grief I’d experienced over ten years ago but with a more mature perspective.
So I decided to try to turn it into something as beautifully chaotic as it is. Maybe it’ll help me find more peace with the situation, maybe not. But it deserves it’s tiny place in literary history, cuz it was a hell of a ride!
A Glimpse at the Story
Fair warning – the characters are ACCIDENTALLY named Jack & Sally. I say accidentally because he’s a fan of Nightmare Before Christmas, and that’s not at all what the names are in reference to lol! When trying to think of names, I decided the girl’s name would be Sally because that was my “pen name” online back then (because of the Foxboro Hot Tubs’ song by that name). Jack struck me as an “edgy guy name”. And then I realized what I had done…and decided not to care!
Ultimately, the story will follow Jack & Sally from when they met, and throughout decades. Obviously, a fair amount of the beginning is based on real memories, while the latter parts will drift into fiction based on experiences with other people in my life, including a little tragedy (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially “Jack”). For the most part though, it’s somewhere between a fun, lighthearted love story, and a reckoning.
Coffee, Chaos, and Chapter Two (And a Half)
So far, writing it has been a treat! I’ve really enjoyed reminiscing about how sweet & fun that relationship was. It’s really been filling my heart with the same love I felt back then.
I’m only about 2½ chapters in at this point. A couple spots were tough to figure out how to put together, but I think I managed. Everything that’s in there is in there for a reason.
I’m learning just how emotionally stoic I tend to be. And how passionate he tended to be. Which could balance us at times, and throw us extremely off balance at other times.
I’ve also realized just how much we genuinely loved each other. Which makes the heartache suck even more now than it did back then.
When do I find time to write? Mostly in the mornings, after I finish my essential focus work, and only if I don’t have a blog post to work on. In other words, rarely. But once I get started, I never wanna stop – I wish I could work on it all day every day! ❤️
The Heart Behind the Words
This story isn’t just a recall of events, but more of an extension of my life philosophy & heart. Lots of emotional territory will get explored, from love to loss, to healing & rebellion & a sense of identity (even when that gets shaken).
I’ll be sharing bits and pieces here as I go — maybe some full chapters, maybe just thoughts from the process. So if you like watching a story come alive in real time, stick around. This one’s going to be interesting.
What would you like to see — more “behind the scenes” posts or the chapters themselves?
And tell me this: what kind of stories haunt your mind until you write them down?
Let’s chat in the comments.
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Last year, I shared a post about the idea of a “Do Nothing Day”, & it seemed like quite a few people found the concept pretty interesting. So, I thought I’d reintroduce it with a couple of tweaks!
What is a “Do Nothing Day”?
It’s a date you make with yourself where you do nothing. Almost literally.
For example, I spend all week homeschooling, running kids to extracurriculars, writing, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and on and on…
On “Do Nothing Day”, I’m not having any of that nonsense!
The dishes & laundry can wait. The kids can entertain & educate themselves a bit. And there’s enough food in the freezer, pantry, & leftovers in the fridge that I shouldn’t have to cook, and nobody’s gonna starve.
I clean my house every day, and still have to clean my house every day. Except “Do Nothing Day”. Cuz…fuck that shit.
It’s perfectly reasonable to take time for your own sanity before you run yourself into burnout city. “You can’t fill others’ from an empty cup” they say; and you can’t run a car on fumes for very long before it causes you even more problems. I’ve “powered through” so much crap in my life, I know how it can sneak up on you.
When to “Do Nothing”
I prefer to take Sundays as my “Do Nothing Day”. Not for religious reasons; I just figure most people don’t like to do things on Sundays, so there aren’t usually any parties or events to interrupt my plans.
Whatever day works best for you is up to you!
How to “Do Nothing”
Honestly, these days I call it my “Fuck All Day”; for my kids, it’s “Whatever Day”.
I only try to do things that bring me peace. If that includes doing laundry, so be it. If it includes writing in my journal all day, that’s perfectly fine too.
My diet & exercise routines go out the window. I still do some yoga & tai chi, but I also eat all the carbs. My usually pitch black coffee is infused with pumpkin spice creamer (the only pumpkin spice I like!) and Trader Vic’s Macadamia Nut Liqueur; my breakfast is my ultimate comfort food- Chicken Flavor Maruchan Instant Lunch. 😋 And if there’s leftover chicken wings or pasta salad in the fridge, bet your ass I’m shoveling it in my face!
I reflect on the past week in my journal, and decorate the pages with washi tape, stickers, & photos.
Hubby usually throws something crazy together for dinner (or he just makes steak – what an angel! 😊), and he does the dishes. Or he doesn’t; I don’t really care either way.
And as I said, it’s “Whatever Day” for the kids. I always make them drink some water and eat fruit & protein for breakfast – if they finish that & want more, then they can have cereal or Toaster Strudel or whatever. On “Whatever Day”, they can have pizza & juice for breakfast for all I care.
I usually limit their screen time quite a bit too. But not on “Whatever Day”! Wanna watch videos of adults with too much time on their hands play Minecraft all day? Whatever! (Why?!? Why do people enjoy watching other people play video games, instead of playing the games themselves?!? I’m just too old to understand…)
Solo Retreats & Staycations
You could always take it to the next level if you wanted to (or if you don’t have time to carve out weekly) – schedule a “solo retreat” or “staycation”!
I actually read a little book about “Solo Retreats” that was published during the pandemic, which was cute. The book suggested bringing as many of the elements of a “retreat” to your home! I guess it depends on what kind of “retreat” you’re looking for, but it could include a schedule with meditation, yoga, journaling, indulging in hobbies, a fulfilling menu, maybe some fun drinks, candles, a bath, a bonfire… What would you do on a retreat?
Same with “staycations”. What would you do on a vacation that you could do in your own neighborhood? Odds are good that you wouldn’t have to drive far to find historic spots, museums, new boutiques, or restaurants you’ve never tried. Companies make Capri Sun-esque pouches of wine & margaritas that you could take to a lakeshore beach, y’know?
So schedule some time for sanity maintenance – whether a weekly “Do Nothing Day”, a monthly “Solo Retreat”, or an occasional “Staycation” – a little break from routine can go a long way!!
👉 If this gave you ideas, try scheduling your own Do Nothing Day this week. Then come back and tell me how it went!
What did you love to do as a kid? And why the hell did you stop?
Oh yeah, work. And family. And life got in the way.
By the time you finally get a few moments, you’re too wiped out to do more than scroll or crash in front of Netflix.
But is that leaving you feeling fulfilled at the end of the day? Probably not.
So here’s an invitation to consider reigniting some of your youthful passions and bring some spark back into your life, at least a couple days a week!
The Compass of Childhood Joy
Whatever lit you up as a kid or a teenager might still give you clues as to what would make you happy as an adult.
It doesn’t matter if they were solo hobbies like writing & reading or active hobbies like skateboarding & playing sports – don’t you think those things might still bring you joy today?
And what do these kinds of activities say about who you were, and still are?
Literal Play vs. Adult Adaptation
Of course, not every childhood hobby fits neatly into adulthood.
If you liked pretending you were a superhero or building blanket forts, those are great ways to bond with your own kids or nieces & nephews. Or just playing by yourself, I’m not here to judge! – You could create a cozy reading nook instead of a blanket fort, or become an EMT instead of pretending to be a superhero!
Most childhood hobbies can be adapted in some way to your adult life. Pretend games can turn into fabulous fiction books, and climbing trees can look like hiking or mountain climbing.
The possibilities are endless! The point is that play matters throughout your life, regardless of whether it’s literal or adapted.
Nostalgia as Medicine
Returning to old hobbies isn’t just fun — it’s healing! You’re reclaiming pieces of yourself that were left behind.
Nostalgia can be a form of self-care (for example: adult coloring books, roller skating comebacks, LEGOs for grown-ups).
Passion First, Profit Second
Some hobbies can even evolve into businesses and “side hustles”, but you need to be aware of your passion levels throughout – monetizing too soon can kill the joy, & if it’s not fun, why do it?!?
Writing has always been a thread in my life. As a kid, I made weekly comics for my classmates. That grew into short stories, then poetry, then even some (slightly rebellious) light erotic fiction. For a while, life got in the way and I stopped — but when I sat down to write a little book on goal setting, I remembered how much fun it was. Since then, writing has evolved into blogging, poetry, fiction, and whatever else sparks me in the moment. No profit yet — maybe someday — but the real win is that I found the joy again.
My friend Josh is the perfect example. In high school, his passion was playing guitar. But when it came time for college, he chose engineering — something he was good at, but didn’t love — because it promised steady money. Still, he found ways to keep music alive, freelancing as a guitar teacher and joining a band. When the pandemic hit, he leaned on engineering and made solid money designing blueprints, but he hated every minute of it. As soon as restrictions lifted, he dropped the job and went back to teaching guitar and playing shows. Now he makes a living doing what he loves, and I couldn’t be prouder. 😊
Are any of your childhood hobbies on there? Should they be?
They might be a gateway to the “Fuck Yeah” zone! 😜
Journaling Prompts
Want to go deeper? Grab your journal and play with these questions. Sometimes the answer to ‘What lights me up?’ is already sitting in the toy box you left behind…
What were my top 3 favorite hobbies as a kid? What feelings did each give me?
If I had one whole Saturday with zero responsibilities, which of those hobbies would I instinctively do first?
Are there ways to adapt my old hobbies into adult life? (Ex: blanket forts → interior design or cozy home rituals; rollerblading → dance or hiking…or even roller derby!; pretend games → creative writing).
Which of my hobbies still sneak into my life now, even in small ways?
What does this say about who I am — then and now?
How could I reclaim even one hour a week for something I loved as a child?
What hobby could I share with my kids, friends, or partner as a way of reconnecting with play?
Do I feel pressure to monetize my hobbies? If so, how would it feel to let them only be for joy again?
What piece of myself do I think I’ll “get back” by doing this hobby again?
It’s never too late to pick up the sketchbook, the rollerblades, the guitar.
Try one this week. Play, create, explore — then come back and let me know how it felt.
See if it still makes you “fuck yeah”!
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