Grief, Love, and Loud Music: Why I’m Chasing a Ghost at a Rock Show

I feel the need to revisit a topic I wrote about a couple months ago, because I’ve since had a lot of thoughts floating around my head.

I wrote then about my friend who felt that he was in love with me; and as much as I absolutely loved the shit out of him, I never wanted more than a friendship.

We haven’t seen or talked to each other in over a decade.

But he’s been on my mind quite a bit lately. To the point where I’m going alone to a concert he’ll probably be at (if he even still lives around here) – not just to see if I can pull anything from the ashes, but also so I can get the fuck away from screaming children & feel like a human for a few hours LOL. (I’m literally trying to write this right now with screaming children running around because I haven’t had time to work on anything. I can practically feel the smoke coming out of my ears.)

The Past

Over the last couple months, a ton of old memories have been flooding back. And there was a lot of love there. Like, a LOT. I never even realized a lot of the things I do now because I was so young (in my 20’s), and always so scared of losing him.

I always worried so much about him cuz he was always dealing with so much stress, and I wanted to be there for him as much as I possibly could. I still do.

He had such an adorable smile, and he gave great hugs. I loved talking to him because he was so different from me, yet still so similar. He was encouraging, flattering, and really really sweet. Not to mention resilient as fuck, and I admired the hell out of that. He’s always been one of my absolute favorite people I’ve ever known.

He was also pretty brutal at times. (Though, isn’t everyone?) I loved him too much for that to scare me off…until he blatantly told me to fuck off. So…that sucked.

The Present

I’ve moved on with my life. I hardly thought about him for a long time – Just fleeting thoughts, wondering how he’s doing, wishing he were around to share bits of my life with. Overall, I was too busy living.

I don’t know what sparked him back in my mind. I really don’t.

I’ve noticed that grief works in cycles, at least for me. Part of me thinks this might just be my brain still grieving the relationship we had. Especially since I never fully understood why we don’t still have that.

Little random things keep happening too, that remind me of him. Which makes me wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something. Which might be silly. But it also might not.

The Future

So, I’m going to see Reverend Horton Heat. He introduced me to them a million years ago, and they’ve since become my favorite driving tunes.

I won’t get my hopes up about him being there. But they kinda are, I’m not gonna lie. lol

I won’t get my hopes up about him being happy to see me. But I don’t really care (not gonna lie). If he’s not, I’ll still enjoy the show. And a couple beers. And no screaming children.

I just don’t want to waste any more time. I hate wasting time, cuz tomorrow is never promised and the “ALS gene time bomb” ticks louder in my ear every year.

If there’s ever anything I can do about anything, I always want to do it now.

And it’s so hard to connect with people these days, especially since COVID – I’d rather hold onto those I know I love, while I can.

Life’s too damn short to wonder what if forever.

If you’ve got someone on your mind lately — a friend, a flame, or even a ghost — maybe this is your nudge to reach out.

✨ Drop a comment if you’ve ever chased closure, connection, or just needed a night to feel alive again. I’m listening.

And hey, wish me luck. Either way. 🍻

Where I’m at #9

Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life.

planner : Hm. I’m not much of a planner anymore, heh. Normally I’d be all about adventures this time of year, but we don’t have much time to work with because of homeschool & kids’ extracurricular activities. Next party we’re due for is Tie Dye, but only one of my invited guests is gonna be able to make it…I think (which is fine cuz SiL’s my fave lol) – I’m looking forward to dying some onesies for my step granddaughter hehe. Then BooBoo’s bestie’s bday party is gonna be at some bumper car thing, so that should be fun. And I’m hoping to go to a concert by myself later in the month (cuz OMFG I need some “me” time!!! And I need to see if my old friend is still around…cuz I miss him too much…)
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Hmmm… I’m hanging in there. I’ve been on a pretty strict but enjoyable diet & exercise routine, and I’ve lost about 5 lbs the past month! More importantly – I feel pretty great (except my scoliosis is pretty mad at me, but whatever heh). My mind’s been a bit chaotic though, to be honest. Lots swirling around my mind – been trying to get it to go somewhere, but it’s still fighting with me. (Shouldn’t force it, I know. Meditate & be patient, I know.)
marriage : Doing pretty well! Trying. He’s been doing pretty good, & I’ve been trying to support that. I’m just glad things are finally settling down after the chaos we’ve been navigating together the past couple years.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are…kids. LOL. Small children are terrorists, I swear (is my blog being flagged for using that word?!? LOL) Everyone has their cycles – they’re in a particularly challenging time right now lol
teacher (K & PK) : Oh boy. Among thoughts swirling & not going anywhere productive is homeschool. I’ve got so much to do, & I want to do so much more, but I have to find time to do it, and…AAAGH! Plus, I’ve gotta get all the legal stuff situated for BooBoo to go into first grade – yippie skippie hehe. They’re doing good, though. BooBoo can read like a champ at this point, & she’s been really enjoying working on math more. Bubby’s starting to identify more letters & numbers, so I guess patience is key with dyslexia (though we’re not completely sure if she’s dyslexic or just stubborn heh). Both girls are enjoying the KiwiBox Tinker Crate, where they have to assemble their toys & understand how they work before they use them (yay STEM! lol)
zB : Ugggggh. (Sorry for all the frustration LOL!) I’m sick of writing SEO optimized, audience focused, butter & sugar bullshit content. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve written, but… While algorithms & Google trends love articles like “26 ways to be more vibrant than Blippi”, I’m kinda making myself nauseous lol. I’d like to maintain the edgy self help bend, but not exclusively. Entertainment, community…and whatever’s truly on my mind at the time – that’s where I’d like zenBLITZ to head from here on.
homemaker : Fuck all that. Like, all of it. LOL. No…finances are fine, cleaning isn’t as important as other things, yardwork is my jam when it’s not fucking raining, and that’s it. I refuse to make travel plans until the skoolie is ready to go, & it’s very much not, so…

Currently

eating : Lots of fucking salads! LOL

drinking : Water, wine, & coffee

watching : Poker Face is pretty good. And Twisted Metal. Younger, of course.

reading : Still working on “Everything is Fucked” by Mark Manson, but I’m struggling to find time for it lately

playing : with the kiddos

buying : stuff to tie dye

listening to : All kinds of stuff I forgot I liked!

celebrating : Summer!!!

pinning : Green Day, homeschool, exercise

planning : Tie Dye party, baby shower

feeling : Unsure…

Where I’m At #8

Where I'm At

“All I want for Easter is my 2 front teeth” 😂

“Where I’m at” posts are just regular updates about what’s going on, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving. Leave a comment & give me ideas for things you’d like to see me write individual posts about!

planner : I SOO want to do a BuJo again, & it just doesn’t make any sense lol! I use my blog BuJo, but I miss setting up daily pages for my life – adding stickers & washi, & just having a linear notebook. It’s such a waste of time & money though. Notion has been rocking my world for like a year now lol. Anyway, I’m planning for BooBoo’s 6th birthday – I hope she has fun!! Our little tea party this past month was cute & fun (& I found out I’m gonna be a step grandma! Omfg!! 😭) And I really need to plan a concert or 2 this summer – it’s been too long (last show I went to was Flogging Molly in 2019 😭)!
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Well, I’ve been on a pretty interesting DIY diet & doing more intentional exercise, & it’s all been going pretty well (as far as I can tell) – I feel better, overall. (Stay tuned for my next post to see why I’m going crazy with it now, heh.) I set up a class that I’ve been taking with ChatGPT on various topics within Stoicism, Buddhism, & psychology, & I’ve been loving every second of it!
marriage (relationship & libido) : All’s pretty good hehe. We’re both working on being more intentional with our time together. I got my wedding rings resized, & so I’m super excited to be able to wear them all the time again!!!
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good! Both are super excited to get outside more!
teacher (K & PK) : School’s been chugging along. They both love science & art. Bubby’s doctor agrees that she’s probably dyslexic, so I need to have her tested with the school soon – Hubby’s dyslexic, so he’s been working with her to identify letters more ❤️
zB : I’m loving writing this blog! 🥰 I started a weekly newsletter (sign up here!), & I’m hoping to expand it a bit in the future, but I’m glad I’ve got it started hehe. I’m working on my social media strategy this month, but I’m a bit behind because I needed to write an extra post for the month heh. That’s ok though – “Throw the timeline out the window, it’ll take what it takes!”
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Uh… All’s pretty good! Lots of cleaning to do, but at least I’m keeping up with maintenance fairly well heh. I’ve decided to say fuck it to the garden this year; hubby can do what he wants, if he wants. Same with travel – I’ll wait til our bus is ready to camp in before I bother to start making plans.

Currently

eating : Vegetables LOL

drinking : black coffee ☕

watching : Echoes seems pretty interesting. Younger is still a favorite! Alpha Males has been pretty funny!

reading : Everything is Fucked by Mark Manson

playing : Nothing, really

buying : Birthday gifts for BooBoo, & Pair Eyewear (I’m excited – hopefully they’re not too dorky hehe)

listening to : “Wish I Knew You” by The Revivalists, “Revolution Radio” by Green Day, & “Burritos” by Sublime are current favorites

celebrating : BooBoo!!

pinning : Green Day, exercise, fashion, & food

planning : BooBoo’s bday

feeling : Ok. My back’s been bothering me a lot though 😕

Where I’m At #7

Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving. Leave a comment & give me ideas for things you’d like to see me write individual posts about!

Warning : It’s been a rough month, I’m not gonna lie…

planner : Well, I set up a whole fondue party, only one of my guests RSVPd (however, 2 of the guests RSVPd to that guest instead of me, and at the last minute one of those guests informed us she was bringing 3 additional people)…so, luckily, my youngest caught a cold & I had to cancel the party LOL. We did, however, enjoy an overnight stay at a local hotel! We went out for a nice ambient dinner & took advantage of the pool at the hotel, which the kids absolutely loved! I would definitely recommend this kind of “staycation” to anyone who needs it! Next month, we’ll be hosting a tea party for the girls, but I’m only inviting the one guest who RSVPd to the last one lol – fuck everyone else (sorry, not sorry). Not sure yet what mini adventure we’ll be embarking on – I’m thinking maybe rollerskating or mini golf. We’ll see!
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : I’ve been quite unhappy this month – lots of stuff on my mind. One big thing is that I had annual lab work done & my doctor’s office said my cholesterol is a bit elevated and so I need to improve my diet & exercise and do follow up lab work in six months (I’ll be working on a related post soon!)
marriage (relationship & libido) : He’s been driving me crazy. I’m working hard to figure out how to deal with it.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good! BooBoo got her yellow belt in karate, and Bubby started gymnastics this past month! I think Bubby caught her cold at gymnastics though because a lot of the parents there don’t seem willing to keep their kids home when they’re sick (literally every little kid there is snotting all over the place – so gross!) So now we’re all sick (especially me & Bubby!)
teacher (K & PK) : Having lots of fun with school, and BooBoo is always surprising herself when she can read things! Bubby is identifying more letters, but I’m still a little concerned that she might have inherited hubby’s dyslexia – so, we just go a bit easy with her, & push her pace a little but not too much.
zB : I actually upgraded my site! LOL. I wanted to start a weekly newsletter, and I needed a proper domain, so I finally bought zen-blitz.com – and I’m excited hehe! (Sign up for my weekly newsletter here & get a free set of journaling prompts!)
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Really haven’t had time for much of any of this stuff (except for planning the overnight trip to the hotel).
witch : Trying to meditate more often. Hopefully my mind will calm down a bit soon…

Currently

eating : Gazpacho pasta salad! lol

drinking : Chamomile mint tea with honey

watching : White Lotus & The Baldwins on Max, and Sisters Feud, Alpha Males, & Younger on Netflix. And the new Daredevil series on Disney+, but I’m not sure how much I like it yet.

reading : Everything is Fucked by Mark Manson

playing : Fruit Merge on my phone

buying : Shoes for everyone but me heh

listening to : Stray Heart by Green Day

celebrating : Spring!

pinning : Green Day, homeschool, self care, journaling

planning : Tea party, mini adventure, & garden

feeling : Kinda shitty, to be honest

Where I’m At #6

Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving. Leave a comment & give me ideas for things you’d like to see me write individual posts about!

planner : Looking forward to spring! Even though it’s still like 3 weeks away lol!! I have to plan the family party for the month – February’s crockpot potluck was lovely, so I want to do a simple fondue dinner thing for March, but hubby wants to do a murder mystery party. We’ll see! I also want to plan an overnight hotel stay so the girls can go in a pool at some point lol
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Feeling a little more comfortable in my “mom bod”, but I’m still working on improving my diet with more produce & protein, and I’d like to take more time for exercise because I’m tired all the time heh. Otherwise, I’m doing pretty well. A little frazzled because I want to do too many things, of course, but I just keep stepping back & focusing on my priorities!
marriage (relationship & libido) : Doing pretty well here. I’m learning the art of being a “smart wife” lol. We’re finding more moments to steal for intimacy now that the girls are getting bigger, so that’s pretty awesome LOL
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are doing pretty great! They’ve been obsessed with this YouTube Roblox video of “Cutie” playing the walking heads event, & it’s creepy as all hell, but…otherwise they’re good LOL

Why?! Why is this even a thing?!?

teacher (K & PK) : School is moving along fine. BooBoo’s getting better & better at reading, and we’re focusing more on Bubby’s letter & number recognition. BooBoo loves science; we did a “snow” experiment with conditioner & baking soda that they both thought was pretty cool. I can’t wait til it’s warm enough to go outside & explore with them! We’re still debating on whether we’re going to keep BooBoo in karate after she gets her yellow belt, but so help me god, I’m definitely getting Bubby in gymnastics starting in March (she’s so excited, & I’m so excited for her!)
zB : Omg, I’m having so much fun writing posts & creating digital products! I’m super behind this month, partially because of it being a short month, but…at least I’m enjoying it! And it seems to be gaining a bit of traction, so that’s pretty awesome hehehe (HI!!)
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Doing alright here. I don’t have much time for household projects because of homeschooling, but that’s ok. Priorities! Haven’t had a chance to work on gardening ideas yet either, but I do know that I’m not going to listen to Hubby & I’m putting it where I want this year lol. We also need to plan our trips, & I need to nag Hubby to get the bus ready. sigh
witch : I started working on this stuff online more, which has been enjoyable so far! I’m still doing my usual hearthcraft though, of course!
reseller : Yeah. No. lol. I’m SO over it…or am I? I would like to do it a little bit, I just don’t have the time, space, or passion for it right now.

Currently

eating – soup

drinking – spiced wine

watching – Younger, Beast Games, & Sisters Feud mostly

reading – Nothing right now

playing – Sims Freeplay lol. A little bit. I used to be obsessed with it.

buying – Spring dresses on Temu lol

listening to – Green Day & Reverend Horton Heat

celebrating – Spring!

pinning – Green Day, journaling, exercise, home design inspo

planning – a party & a hotel stay, tattoos

feeling – frazzled, excited

Where are you at? Let’s chat in the comments!!

Rock on!

Where I’m At #5

Where I'm At

planner : I have a lot of projects planned for February! I’m finishing up my digital audit as I’m writing this, which is always quite a relief – I must have deleted a zillion things I didn’t even know I had! I still have to audit 10 years of Google Photos, but that’s another project all its own. (ETA : I realized I should add auditing my PKM to the list too, because the chaos I’ve created there is stressing me out – “actionability … only save things that contribute to current projects & areas … it’s not a museum of knowledge if you don’t absorb or utilize the information!”) Next month’s projects include a “What a Crock-Potluck Revival Party” (we haven’t had a crockpot party in a while, so I thought we’d get back on that wagon), I want to make an “Oh Shit!” notebook (in case I get hit by a dump truck & my husband needs to know things he doesn’t normally care about), as well as planning for fun stuff in warmer weather (travel, tattoos, concerts, etc)
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Forever working on my eating habits – I’ve been focusing on eating more consistently throughout the day because I have a bad habit of barely eating until dinnertime, and then going a little too crazy (cuz I love my dinner recipes! 😋) I’ve been sleeping kind of crappy because I really like my quiet time in the mornings, and I should probably get back to my exercise routine, but…not right now 😆 My brain’s been doing pretty good lol – Lots of fun ideas abound, feeling pretty chill (albeit a little cabin fever), and learning all kinds of interesting things about blogging!
marriage (relationship & libido) : Not doing too bad here, actually! Humor keeps things interesting lol
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are doing pretty good, though I’m sure they can’t wait til it’s warm enough to go outside every day! They’ve been keeping busy drawing, painting, & playing with their dolls mostly. And enjoying a little bit of Legs Marvel Superheroes on Xbox hehe
teacher (K & PK) : They’ve been doing really well with school, though it was hard getting back into the rhythm after the holidays. BooBoo surprises us (& herself!) every day with how well she can read already, and Bubby is getting really good at tracing lines
zB : Having a lot of fun (& driving myself absolutely crazy!) trying to choose which direction to go with everything related to the blog & products to create & everything. I know I’m overcomplicating everything though lol! I’ve been learning a lot about SEO, optimization tools (like Buffer for automating social media posts), and everything in between. (My brain hurts. 🤪)
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Everything’s fine & dandy here! I need to rebalance our general finances, which I keep putting off. Been maintaining the cleaning, but not really making any progress (no time!) And I’m looking forward to travel & garden planning soon!

Currently

eating : crockpot dinners

drinking : hot lime water, & hot grapefruit water (way better than lemon water!)

watching : Hubby keeps trying to make me watch movies. I don’t generally have the attention span for movies. Blink Twice was pretty good. Back to Action was pretty terrible. The show Younger hasn’t been too bad. And surprisingly, the series Maxton Hall has been pretty interesting. And Ripley, omg, that was actually pretty good lol!

reading – Nothing. I haven’t really had much interest in any particular books lately. But I’ve kept up with my Daily Stoic Journal every day!

playing : Board games with the girls, especially Candy Land hehe ☺️

buying : Not much. Went a little crazy on Temu because I really needed a new winter coat. I also ended up with a couple gifts for hubby, gloves, some new eyebrow rings, and a bunch of other things I’ll be surprised to see when they come 😅

listening to : My “Tunes” playlist on YouTube – lots of Green Day & Foxboro Hot Tubs, Reverend Horton Heat, & “Wish I Knew You” by the Revivalists (me & hubby’s dating anthem hehe)

celebrating : Midwinter & Valentine’s Day

pinning : wallpapers, self care, Green Day

planning – projects, a party, goals

feeling – generally good, but a bit restless!

Where are you at? Let me know in the comments below!! 😀

Where I’m At #4

Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving (and see that I do try to practice what I preach). Leave a comment & give me ideas for things you’d like to see me write individual posts about!

Hi everyone! It’s been a rough month for my family – we all got COVID mid-November, & apparently we’re all still dealing with the aftermath. Yeah, seriously. My kids’ pediatrician told me I was probably misdiagnosed with a sinus infection because she said they’ve regularly seen some COVID symptoms lasting up to 15 weeks. So there’s that.

On a better note, our holidays were lovely, & I hope yours was as well!

Let’s get into how December went for me…

planner : I actually just switched up my Notion setup a little bit! My main dashboard is now a gallery view of the PARA method, with “Projects” being the equivalent of my planner. “Areas” are the equivalent of the roles you see here, with each area having a separate page & each relevant page having a section for tasks & notes. I like it a lot so far! Also, I’m really excited to move into a new journal! I’ve made an entire year fit into an A5 Stalogy for the second year in a row, & that poor notebook is about to explode!

self (body & mind, emotion & education) : I’ve really been struggling with my diet & exercise ever since I first got sick; that’s a real challenge for me – picking back up after illness. (Something for me to work on!) I’ve really been enjoying journaling & writing my blog posts; haven’t been terribly interested in reading any books lately (I keep trying to read Tim Ferriss’ 4 Hour Workweek because I like his writing style & some of his ideas, but I just can’t stay interested.) Emotionally, I’ve been pretty up & down because of being sick. Bleh.
marriage : We’ve been rediscovering old ways to have adventures, considering the weather. It’s been fun going “window shopping” & spontaneous restaurants for dinner!
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls have been great, despite having a very persistent cough. Their favorite Xmas gifts included some Magna Tiles, Miraculous Dolls, & Furblets lol
teacher (K & PK) : We’ve been taking it easy this month, to prep for & enjoy the holidays. We’ve worked through the curriculum a little bit when they felt like it, but most of this month’s education centered around the science of the changing seasons, measuring ingredients for homemade treats, playing games, & doing holiday worksheets.
zB : Had to move some things around because I was really struggling to maintain focus this month, & I wasn’t sure if I’d have enough posts ready for the month, but I somehow managed to pull everything together & I’m excited to share those with you!!!
homemaker (finance, cleaning, travel) : I don’t even wanna talk about the finances this month LOL – I just keep telling myself “tis the season!” I’ve gotten a lot more cleaning done with us not focusing so much on school, so that’s good. And I’ve been trying to plan some interesting adventures for these cold & snowy months – We’ll see what happens!
witch – Nothing going on here; I really should try to find some time to at least meditate more regularly, though I do a little bit every night.
reseller – Absolutely nothing going on here, besides a couple of sales. I’m still very much in limbo about how I want to go about my whole resale business right now & in the future. It’s just not a priority.

Currently

eating – Lots of soup!

drinking – Hot lime water 😋

watching – Beast Games, Xmas movies, Lincoln Lawyer, & finished Royal Pains just in time for it to leave Netflix!

reading – Blog posts

playing – “Beat the Parents “ & “Would You Rather?” (card games from the Dollar Tree that I got the kids hehe)

buying – All kinds of stuff we don’t need, just cuz it’s discounted post-holiday (we really need to put the brakes on! LOL)

listening to – Rain!

celebrating – My youngest is turning 4! 🥳

pinning – self care, journaling, homeschool stuff, & Green Day lol

planning – Kiddo’s bday, goals

feeling – Excited for a new year!

How was your December, & what are you looking forward to in January? Let me know in the comments below!!

And if you’d like, feel free to use this free desktop background I made on Canva for whatever you’d like (I was just screwing around while I was sick, hehe) 😘

See you next week!!

Where I’m At #3

Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving (and see that I do try to practice what I preach). Leave a comment & give me ideas for things you’d like to see me write individual posts about!

planner : Trying to refresh my whole system ahead of the new year because I feel a bit stagnant. I’m testing out a simplified morning routine, a more insight driven journaling routine, and a more simplified goal planning system.
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Ugh. So my whole family had COVID for a week or so, right? I had worse symptoms than everyone else (I’ll spare you the details lol), and then I developed a sinus infection, which I’m still dealing with. So, everything’s a bit blah for me right now, but I’m trying to take it a bit easy while also trying to get back on track with everything.
marriage (relationship & libido) : We’re doing alright. I’ve been too sick to focus much on us, but we’re getting through it.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The kids are still a bit sneezy & tired, but tis the season lol.
teacher (K & PK) : The girls are doing great with school! BooBoo hates phonics, but she enjoys surprising herself when she can read certain longer words! Bubby can pretty much count to 20, & is working beyond that already! And her fine motor skills haven’t gotten pretty impressive!!!
zB : I’m pretty proud of the progress I’ve made with my passion project 🥰 I have my business plan all situated, and goals set for next year. I’m excited to see where this journey will take me, & I hope you’re excited to join me!!
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Yeahh. Lol. Finances are doing good! I’ve been testing Betterment’s high interest savings & investment accounts, and I’m pretty pleased! (I’m interested in other options too though, if anyone wants to share!) Everything else is kind of…unimportant right now. Except for Xmas decor hehehe!
witch : Nothing going on here. I’ve just been trying to meditate my way through my sicknesses.
reseller : Effortlessly made a couple sales on eBay, but I’m not really doing anything here either.

On an additional note, Frontier DSL has been the bane of my existence for the past couple of weeks. Well, Frontier in general, really.

Currently

eating : soup! 🍜

drinking : tea ☕

watching : YouTube, cuz I can’t stream anything else with how terrible my internet’s been! Lots of Moe Sargi, and some bigfoot videos lol

reading : Nothing. I keep trying to read the 4 Hour Workweek, but I just get so burned out on it!

playing : Bingo Showdown & Candy Crush

buying : Xmas gifts! And bday gifts for hubby & bubby!

listening to : YouTube

celebrating : Xmas, Yule, & bdays!

pinning : yoga, Green Day, homeschool

planning on taking it a bit easy so I can heal

feeling : Sicky 😫

Where are you at right now? Let me know in the comments below!!

Where I’m At #2

Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving (and see that I do try to practice what I preach). Leave a comment & give me ideas for topics you’d like to see posts about!

planner : I keep toying with the idea of analog planners, but they’re so impractical for me right now! I miss my Happy Planner & my bullet journal, but everything’s still working so well for me on Notion that it doesn’t make sense to fix something that isn’t broken! I did create a horizontal weekly layout with a memo section for my mini Happy Planner, but I mostly use it to get a focused overview of my appointments, goals, & meals for the week. I guess it helps gain some perspective.
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Not much going on here, except for with my diet. I’m trying to follow a “mindful eating schedule” I created with ChatGPT. I like it a lot so far, but I have some trouble with tired / stress eating around dinner time. For example, I may have eaten too many brownies this evening & kinda wanna crawl into a hole right now lol oops. Progress, not perfection – I will try not to do that again tomorrow!
marriage (relationship & libido) ; Going pretty good. I’ve been enjoying working on improving my libido, and working with sexual energy more in my life. Hubby’s enjoying the journey too lol! Next week I will try out the “Radical Intimacy” course on DailyOm, and I’ll let you know how it goes
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The little monsters are good. BooBoo is starting to read like a pro, and Bubby still loves her dolls. Both girls want Furbits for Xmas (😱)
teacher (K & PK) : School has been going pretty well. I love ChatGPT for helping me with ideas for lesson plans!
zB : I’ve been enjoying my writing journey quite a bit, and I’m learning a lot! I love it!!
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Still gotta plan a little family cabin trip. Hopefully I can get that situated this week. Working on a cool “Friendsgiving” party for this month (charcuterie board & board / card games), and a chill family Thanksgiving dinner.
witch : Nothing going on here. I celebrated Samhain with a day full of journaling though, which was very much needed.
reseller : BLAH! Still mad at resale, still haven’t done anything about it.

Currently

eating : Brownies lol

drinking : Rosé, lime water, coffee with pumpkin spice creamer & occasionally a shot of Trader Vic’s Macadamia Nut Liqueur 😋

watching : Outer Banks, Nobody Wants This, Agatha All Along (OMG I love it lol)

reading : Good Morning Good Life by Amy Landino

playing : Bingo Showdown & Candy Crush Saga

buying : Nothing, so help me god

listening to : Green Day, Reverend Horton Heat, Lofi, other stuff my family members hate LOL (though I did sing Barbie Girl in the car with BooBoo the one day, that was pretty cool hehehe ☺️)

celebrating : the rest & reflection time of year nearing

pinning : self care, Green Day, planners, Xmas, crochet

planning : Thanksgiving & Friendsgiving

feeling : tired! Hopeful, stressed

Where are you at? Let’s chat in the comments!!!

Where I’m at #1

Uncategorized, Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving (and see that I do try to practice what I preach). Leave a comment & give me ideas for things you’d like to see me write individual posts about!

planner : I’m loving Notion. I forgot that I enjoy moving blocks around like I used to when WordPress first started using that system (I think before I even originally started this blog!) So once I realized you have to play with Notion on a computer and not your phone, a whole new world opened up for me lol! Now I pretty much do everything on Notion, and I love every second of it!!!
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : My #1 goals right now is to eat more mindfully & exercise more. So, I’ve been making sure that I eat a lot of protein & produce every day, trying to eat more consistently throughout the day (since I’m the type to graze a little & then go overboard at dinner), and paying attention to my portions. It’s a lot of work, but I’m definitely making progress because I feel a lot better (and that’s the goal!) I’ve implemented a quick 15 minute exercise routine every morning, I do a little exercise with my kids when we do school, and I’ve been doing a few minutes of yoga at night. And I started a habit I like to call Squatty Potty LOL (nothing to do with the Shark Tank idea!) – Every time I go to the bathroom, I do 5 squats lol! I like it actually!! 😆 As for mind, I’ve been trying to write in my A5 Stalogy journal more often, and I’ve been working on a proper PARA PKM setup on Notion (of course).
marriage (relationship & libido) : My second most important goal! Hubby & I have been through a lot over the past couple years, so I’m really trying to focus on improving our marriage right now. I’ve been reading a lot of articles on the topic, and making sure that I am giving all the affection that I want to get. And it’s been working! We’re pretty happy right now, though there’s always improvements to be made. A lot of it has just been a shift in perspective. As for my libido… I’ve always had a low libido. Even though Hubby’s a wonderful lover, I just don’t…I don’t know! I really don’t know. I’m always trying to do too many things, honestly, and I have trouble slowing down to make love I guess! But I’m trying. I’m making sure we don’t go very long without some intimate time, and I try to flirt with him a bit every day. We used to get yelled at in restaurants for making out at our table LOL, but we have kids now, so we don’t even get to go out on dates hardly ever, unfortunately. Which is another thing I’ve been working on correcting. Anyway! I took a course on DailyOm last year which focused on tantra called “Sacred Sexuality: Open the Energy of Intimacy”, which I really enjoyed. I might try another course they have, “Radical Intimacy”, which seems to touch on a lot of similar ideas. We’ll see.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : As I’m writing this, Booboo is sick. She’s just got a bit of a cold. I blame the triplets she was hanging out with at the library, even though they didn’t seem sick. Gotta blame someone, right?!? LOL! I always get nervous when she gets sick because she had a fever seizure the one time, & it freaked me right out. But she’s in good spirits. But very snotty lol. Bubby’s doing great! She really loves watching Baby Bus on YouTube, which is actually fairly educational! And she also loves playing with dolls.
teacher (K & PK) : School is going pretty well. I dropped Busy Toddler’s Playing Preschool year 2 for Bubby for now because I felt like it was too advanced for her, and we’re just doing Easy Peasy All in One Homeschool’s Kindergarten & Preschool. They’re really enjoying it! Booboo’s been working through phonics (she had a lot of trouble & irritation with sight words), and she’s doing absolutely awesome with it! She can practically read anything she tries to!
zB : My “Ikigai”! I’m having a lot f fun doing research & making a plan to take zenBLITZ to a whole other level by blogging more and eventually working on more products & services such as workbooks, printable stationery, & eventually private coaching. I’m just too excited!!!
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Uh, yeah. LOL. I’ve actually been keeping up with housework fairly well. I just audited the fridge, freezer, & pantry, and I found a bunch of stuff in the pantry that we need to get creative with before it ends up in the trash. Hubby used up the French’s fried onions last night in a delicious green bean casserole. Finances are going well. Gonna need to wrap up the garden pretty soon – we’ve still got zucchini, tomatoes, peppers, & herbs producing goodness (when the groundhog lets them!) Ya know, I got one of those motion sensors that are supposed to deter animals, but I don’t think some of them give a crap about it! It emits a high pitched noise when it gets set off, & I’m the only human I know who can actually hear it. And it drives me crazy! Why doesn’t the groundhog care?!? Prepping & travel are on the backburner. We’re usually pretty well prepped for events like snowstorms, power outages, or pandemics lol. We did just get a Jackery portable power station, though, & Hubby’s all excited & wants to get some new solar panels for it. It’s pretty awesome, I’d definitely recommend it! And as for travel… I had plans to go on a nice road trip, but that got derailed by Hubby’s household projects. Especially since he wanted to turn his mini school bus into our camper, & it’s not quite ready yet. Maybe next year.
witch : I’ve been meditating daily, and playing with my Happy Grimoire (I’ll have to share that soon, it’s pretty sweet!) And we did a nice little homeschool lesson designed by ChatGPT for Mabon, which we all really enjoyed : Booboo learned a bit about equinoxes (she’s really into “space”), we read about an orchard, we baked some muffins, and we went on an autumn scavenger hunt. It was really fun. We still gotta get to the local orchard, and make a collage with our scavenger hunt findings though! I’m looking forward to planning for Samhain soon!
reseller : Ugh. I don’t really enjoy reselling anymore. I have a goal to get the shops in full gear for Q4 so I can at least make enough money to pay off my associated credit card, but I have no enthusiasm for it! I think next year I’m just gonna pivot to local sales so Hubby can have something to do cuz that’s really why I got into it in the first place. I’d rather focus my efforts on zenBLITZ!
Other things I’ve been interested in lately :
- Digital Minimalism : Trying not to spend too much time on my phone. Laptop is for morning productivity. But I’m trying not to get too distracted by reading stuff throughout the day. I’m working on being more intentional about the content I consume, I should say.
- Capsule wardrobe / daily uniform : I didn’t realize I already pretty much have a “daily uniform”, but I do have certain items I wear for certain occasions. And I didn’t realize I already pretty much have a capsule wardrobe, but I kinda do! I limit myself to certain numbers of certain items! I review my wardrobe twice a year, when I switch my closet to summer or winter clothes! I do need to pair it down quite a bit now because there’s a lot of things that either don’t fit me or I don’t like, so I’m glad I’ll be switching my closet for cold weather soon lol!
- Meal prepping : I was always really against meal prepping. But I got inspired by Shutterbean’s super lax meal prepping philosophy, and I’ve tried it out the past couple weeks, and I really like it! I don’t prep every single thing, but I prep whatever I feel is manageable to help the week go more smoothly. More on this in a future post!

Currently

eating : protein & produce!

drinking : water, coffee with ID Pumpkin Spice creamer (it’s the only pumpkin spice I really like hehe)

watching : The Mayfair Witches, The Penguin, Resident Alien, Sweet Tooth, Dead Boy Detectives

reading : The 4 Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss, Good Morning Good Life by Amy Landino, & The Homeschooling Starter Guide by Gina Riley. I read a little bit of whatever strikes me each day.

playing : Russian Roulette with my free time LOL

buying : groceries 🤪

listening to : YouTube planner videos

celebrating : my birthday soon!

pinning : homeschool ideas, recipes, planner spreads

planning : a very busy October!

feeling : tired, optimistic, excited