The Wake Up Call : Why I’m Even Talking About This

A couple of weeks ago, I went and got my annual lab work done for my PCP. Unexpectedly, I got a call from one of the nurses letting me know my cholesterol levels are a bit elevated—she said, ”Heart healthy diet & exercise, and follow-up lipid panel in six months.” And that’s literally it. That was the whole conversation.

My father had cardiovascular issues, and as his primary caregiver I already knew how to approach a “heart healthy diet” and whatnot. If I didn’t, I’d be freaking out. (Which is one of many reasons why I loathe the current state of the American “healthcare” system, but that’s a rant for another day. Don’t be afraid to ask questions — your health team works for you.) So, the information in this post is based on past and current research. While I do have some healthcare education and experience, I am not a doctor and this article is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice. I just want to share what I’ve learned and how I’m approaching this situation.

Bite Sized Explanation – LDL vs non-HDL Cholesterol

Both of these were noted as “high” in my lab report, which means my overall cholesterol levels are considered elevated.

LDL cholesterol refers to one specific type of lipoprotein, while non-HDL cholesterol refers to “all potentially harmful cholesterol particles in the blood”.

In other words, LDL is like the reckless driver and non-HDL is a full report of all the troublemakers in the area. HDL is the good guy.

I’m choosing empowerment over panic – I’ve been wanting to improve my physical health game, and this is just a nudge to level up!

Cholesterol Isn’t Evil, But You Might Be Eating Like An Asshole

(I know I’ve been!)

The real villains are saturated and trans fats (not cholesterol itself), so check your nutrition labels accordingly. Everything in moderation.

Simple dietary swaps won’t ruin your life –

• Instead of butter & cream > use olive oil or avocado
• Instead of fatty meats & processed snacks > go for leaner proteins (chicken, salmon, legumes) & whole foods (fresh fruits & veggies)
• Instead of hard cheeses > try softer, less processed options (like feta)
• Instead of having coffee with your creamer (lol) > sip on black coffee (you’ll get the same kick!)

Foods that actively help :

• Soluble fiber (oats, beans, fruits) sweeps away cholesterol like a janitor listening to the Dead Kennedys
• Foods fortified with plant sterols & stanols. (What the hell are those you ask? Me too!) Apparently these naturally occurring plant chemicals reduce absorption of dietary cholesterol in the body, but they’re found in such small amounts in the plants themselves that some food manufacturers will fortify certain (often high caloric) foods with them. They can also be found in supplements. (Just drink some OJ, eat some nuts & seeds, and…don’t eat like an asshole?)

Move Like You Mean It

Exercise isn’t just for getting shredded – it raises HDL (good) cholesterol and improves heart health.

You don’t need a gym membership – walking, dancing, lifting your kid 600 times a day all count. The key is to find some movement that doesn’t bore you to death – skateboarding, hiking, karate – whatever keeps you coming back!

I’m pretty fond of Juice & Toya on YouTube – they use fun music, different routines & moves in each video, and there’s plenty to choose from!

Vices & Fixes : Smoking, Vaping, & Stress

Smoking is an HDL killer – so quitting gives your good cholesterol a boost! And studies have shown that vaping isn’t a loophole (damn.) – it has similar effects as smoking. Both stress out your liver (which regulates cholesterol), cause inflammation, & expose your body to more toxins than you already do just by being alive. So stop it (I’m yelling at myself here.)

Psychological stress & cholesterol are BFFs too (& not in a good way). Practice stoicism or selective apathy, meditate, or just scream into the void – find a way to decompress.

Genetics : Are You Screwed At Birth?!?

Yes, but no. Genetics do play a role (40-60% of HDL levels are inherited). Your lifestyle is more important though – you can outmaneuver your DNA.

Your Body, Your Rules : The (Punk Rock) Experiment

Instead of blindly following health advice, track what actually works for you. On Notion, I keep a daily health log that includes dietary goals, exercise tracking, a food log, & room for reflection.

Start small, & reduce your misery :

• Swap one bad habit at a time
• Experiment with food, movement, & stress management
• Get labwork redone periodically & see what helps

Own Your Health Without Losing Your Edge

Lowering cholesterol doesn’t mean selling out – you can take control without becoming a health obsessed robot. It’s more about balance than restriction. Don’t eat like a jerk, move your ass, & chill the fuck out. Just like any other goal or habit – plan some stuff, test it out, keep track, reflect, & pivot as needed. Find what works, & screw the rest.

✊ If this fired you up in a good way, give it a share, hit “like,” and don’t forget to sign up for my weekly newsletter zen BLITZ — where punk meets practical and we figure out this whole health/life thing without losing our edge.

Rock on!