This Is Who I Am Now – Owning Every Version of Myself

I recently came across a selfie from about 15 years ago — same hairstyle, same vibe as a selfie I took this summer. Around the same time, I heard the phrase “this is who I am now.” And it got me thinking – who the fuck am I now? Turns out, I’m a lot of things…..

I am punk rock.

I do things my way, but humbly, without arrogance. I try not to judge, I try to approach difficult situations with loving kindness, and I revel in finding calm amidst chaos.

I am a wife.

I married the single coolest and most loving human being I’ve ever met, and we’ve been together for 8 years now. Through thick & thin. We’ve literally jumped through hell for each other.

I am a mom.

Of 2 beautiful, unique, intelligent, loving, creative, independent as hell little girls. They love climbing rocks, foraging for snacks in the yard, and catching toads all while wearing princess dresses & sparkly pink nail polish.

I am a homeschooler.

I love being able to cuddle my kids while helping them learn. I love figuring out their unique nuances, and interests, and seeing where these things take us on a daily basis. And I love creating space for adventures in our everyday life, to show them there’s always lessons to learn wherever you’re willing to look.

I am a creator.

A writer, a crocheter, a digital designer. A “Jill of many trades”. I just wish I could find time to make money off this shit lol!

I am the household manager.

I handle meal planning, groceries, budgeting, bills, cleaning, travel plans, party plans…just about everything.

I am a “chaos witch”.

I mostly practice hearthcraft, and protection & healing magick. My practice is…very much on the back burner to everything else in my life, but I do sneak in little bits of magick here & there.

I was a reseller for a few years.

I enjoyed the whole process, and I enjoyed providing fun things to people who got excited over the often silly things I’d offered. I just didn’t have the time or space to let it grow, and that’s fine.

I was a student a couple times.

I’ve studied psychology, neurology, business, and education. I even tutored psychology one semester (and my student did awesome!), and I was a “peer advisor” a couple times! Never followed through for a degree though, and that’s fine.

I was a patient care assistant in an emergency department for a bit.

I loved the autonomy, the diversity of situations, and the sheer volume of unique patient interactions. And the patients & visitors loved me…because I’m patient, smart, & I genuinely give a fuck. I just couldn’t stand 96% of my coworkers, and that’s fine.

I’ve been a caregiver for most of my life.

For grandparents, parents, friends, and loved ones; throughout illnesses, injuries, and psychological chaos. It’s part of how I was raised, and part of just who the fuck I am.

So that’s me — messy, evolving, and unapologetically real.

Now it’s your turn: Who the fuck are you today? Drop a comment or share this post with someone finding themselves again.

If my words made you smile, nod, or roll your eyes in recognition — hit “like,” share it, or subscribe for more real talk on life, growth, and chaos.

Keep it raw, keep it real. And rock the fuck on. 🤘💚

Where I’m At #5

Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving. Leave a comment & give me ideas for things you’d like to see me write individual posts about!

planner : I have a lot of projects planned for February! I’m finishing up my digital audit as I’m writing this, which is always quite a relief – I must have deleted a zillion things I didn’t even know I had! I still have to audit 10 years of Google Photos, but that’s another project all its own. (ETA : I realized I should add auditing my PKM to the list too, because the chaos I’ve created there is stressing me out – “actionability … only save things that contribute to current projects & areas … it’s not a museum of knowledge if you don’t absorb or utilize the information!”) Next month’s projects include a “What a Crock-Potluck Revival Party” (we haven’t had a crockpot party in a while, so I thought we’d get back on that wagon), I want to make an “Oh Shit!” notebook (in case I get hit by a dump truck & my husband needs to know things he doesn’t normally care about), as well as planning for fun stuff in warmer weather (travel, tattoos, concerts, etc)
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Forever working on my eating habits – I’ve been focusing on eating more consistently throughout the day because I have a bad habit of barely eating until dinnertime, and then going a little too crazy (cuz I love my dinner recipes! 😋) I’ve been sleeping kind of crappy because I really like my quiet time in the mornings, and I should probably get back to my exercise routine, but…not right now 😆 My brain’s been doing pretty good lol – Lots of fun ideas abound, feeling pretty chill (albeit a little cabin fever), and learning all kinds of interesting things about blogging!
marriage (relationship & libido) : Not doing too bad here, actually! Humor keeps things interesting lol
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are doing pretty good, though I’m sure they can’t wait til it’s warm enough to go outside every day! They’ve been keeping busy drawing, painting, & playing with their dolls mostly. And enjoying a little bit of Legs Marvel Superheroes on Xbox hehe
teacher (K & PK) : They’ve been doing really well with school, though it was hard getting back into the rhythm after the holidays. BooBoo surprises us (& herself!) every day with how well she can read already, and Bubby is getting really good at tracing lines
zB : Having a lot of fun (& driving myself absolutely crazy!) trying to choose which direction to go with everything related to the blog & products to create & everything. I know I’m overcomplicating everything though lol! I’ve been learning a lot about SEO, optimization tools (like Buffer for automating social media posts), and everything in between. (My brain hurts. 🤪)
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Everything’s fine & dandy here! I need to rebalance our general finances, which I keep putting off. Been maintaining the cleaning, but not really making any progress (no time!) And I’m looking forward to travel & garden planning soon!

Currently

eating : crockpot dinners

drinking : hot lime water, & hot grapefruit water (way better than lemon water!)

watching : Hubby keeps trying to make me watch movies. I don’t generally have the attention span for movies. Blink Twice was pretty good. Back to Action was pretty terrible. The show Younger hasn’t been too bad. And surprisingly, the series Maxton Hall has been pretty interesting. And Ripley, omg, that was actually pretty good lol!

reading – Nothing. I haven’t really had much interest in any particular books lately. But I’ve kept up with my Daily Stoic Journal every day!

playing : Board games with the girls, especially Candy Land hehe ☺️

buying : Not much. Went a little crazy on Temu because I really needed a new winter coat. I also ended up with a couple gifts for hubby, gloves, some new eyebrow rings, and a bunch of other things I’ll be surprised to see when they come 😅

listening to : My “Tunes” playlist on YouTube – lots of Green Day & Foxboro Hot Tubs, Reverend Horton Heat, & “Wish I Knew You” by the Revivalists (me & hubby’s dating anthem hehe)

celebrating : Midwinter & Valentine’s Day

pinning : wallpapers, self care, Green Day

planning – projects, a party, goals

feeling – generally good, but a bit restless!

Where are you at? Let me know in the comments below!! 😀

Year End Reflection : 12 Days of Questions to Connect With Your True Self

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They say that “hindsight is 20-20”, suggesting that you learn the most from reflection on your past experiences. In this week’s post, I’m encouraging you to review your calendar, social media posts, journal entries, whatever you can use to gain some insight into the past year so that you can go into the next with clarity & direction. I insist you take your time journaling your answers, when applicable. Here are 12 days worth of questions to connect with your true self :

Past year

Look back through your calendar, etc – What were the best & worst events of the past year?
What was the biggest challenge you faced, & how did you overcome that challenge?
“Let go of things that no longer serve you, & things you can’t control.” – What would you like to leave in the past? How can you do that?
Describe the past year in one sentence.

Life, & the grand scheme of things

What are you passionate about?
What are your most notable skills?
What did you enjoy most when you were a kid?
What are your values?

Next year

What relationships encouraged growth last year, & how can you nurture those relationships this year?
What would you like to end next year saying, “I’m so glad I did (this), I’m proud that I accomplished (that)”?
How can you simplify your desires from #10 so that they align with your values? Consider the Pareto Principle to prioritize the action steps on your quests, meaning that only 20% of your efforts will be truly fruitful.
Describe next year’s focus in one word.

Conclusion

Reflecting on the past is a great way to connect with who you truly are & where you want to go with your life. I hope these questions provide some insight for your direction in the coming year.

If you answer online, leave a comment with a link below!!

And if you’d like a printout of these questions to add to your journal, here you go!