Real Talk: How to Function When Life Super Sucks

Let’s Get Real : When Happiness Feels Like a Scam

It seems like everyone’s always chasing happiness, as though it’s the ultimate goal of life. Romanticizing happiness like that, however, can really just set us up for failure, especially when we feel like we’re just struggling to survive.

Here’s a little truth bomb for thought, from Mark Manson – “Comfort with your core misery is a form of happiness.” I suppose accepting, understanding, and approaching with compassion your underlying (angst, sadness, or whatever) is the key to freedom from its control.

Even Stoic philosopher king Marcus Aurelius was dealt a super shitty hand throughout his life, yet he showed up for it. Every. Damn. Day.

How to Deal When It All Feels Pointless

“We continue to rise because it’s the only way forward.” – Ryan Holiday

Start with the basics (especially if you’re at rock bottom) :

Eat something that didn’t come out of a crinkly wrapper. Your mind, just like your body, needs actual nutrients to feel good.
Move your ass, even if it’s just a casual stroll.
Sleep, hydrate, repeat.

2. Don’t numb out. You’ll only cause yourself more problems.

No drugs. No binges. No “maybe if I just…” decisions.
That one night stand? Definitely not the solution!
Therapy & medication are tools, not weaknesses. If your brain is sick, help it heal – no one worth a shit is judging you.

What to Do Instead of Spiraling

Journal. And get ugly about it. Be honest, even if it’s petty & especially if it’s dark. Then flip the script – What would you say to someone you love if they were feeling the way you do?
Lean on your people, even if it feels awkward or vulnerable. Any decent human will want to lift another up.
Do one tiny thing to look forward to. A creative project, a cheap vacation, plan a local hike, or learn something weird on YouTube.
Volunteer. Sometimes, giving a shit about someone else helps us give a shit about ourselves again.
Develop healthy routines to help you get through each day.

When You Feel Like Nobody Cares

Quick sad story – My mom died at home of complications from ALS four days after my 15th birthday. (Worst. Birthday. Ever.) I remember sitting on the couch in front of her while my aunt called the coroner & distant family members in the other room, and my father did shots & smoked cigarettes with my uncle outside. I asked myself, “now what do I do? How do I grieve? How do I move forward from this?” And then I realized I was left alone with the empty shell of my mom. And I screamed in agony, feeling like I didn’t matter.

This just magnified my tendency to shut down and disappear when I’m in pain. As an adult, I try hard to consciously choose not to revert to that – I try to make sure I reach out to others just to say “hi, how are ya?!?” (even though I feel like no one does that in turn).

A little reminder (for myself, & you)…

If you ever feel like no one gives a fuck – you’re not alone, or broken, or anything like that. That pain has a root. But isolation isn’t really going to make anything better. Reach out anyway – you’ll never know if some light will reach back otherwise.

Selective Apathy : A Survival Skill in a Loud World

“Let the chaos settle, & clarity will follow”

From there, we need to focus on caring deeply about things that matter to us, & not at all about things that drain us. Mindfulness is a matter of noticing where your energy goes unattended, & rerouting it with intention.

According to the Dalai Lama (& a million philosophers before him), the only constant in life is change. Suffering occurs as a natural response when we are resistant to change. When we are capable, we need to let go – accept it, so we can address it & turn it around by finding any possible meanings & lessons hidden beneath the pain.

You Don’t Have to Be Happy to Live Well

You’re not broken because you’re not blissed out. You’re still here. Still trying. And that definitely matters. You are not alone, and the world is better with you in it. Feel & live loud, even if it gets a bit ugly at times. The golden rule in life, in my opinion, is to do whatever you want so long as you don’t hurt anyone, including yourself.

If you’re in the thick of it right now — I see you. Keep doing the next right thing, even if it’s tiny. Leave a comment, message me, or just save this for later. You’re not alone in the mess.

If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe to my weekly newsletter zen BLITZ.

Rock on!

Bullet Journaling to Improve Your Life (Because Your Memory Sucks)

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Your Biggest Enemy is an Uncontrolled Mind

Your thoughts are scattered. Your emotions run amok. Your memory? Unreliable at best. Enter – the Bullet Journal Method.

Bullet Journaling isn’t just a planner – it’s a mental command center that helps you track, process, and problem-solve.

And when everything seems to suck, it can help remind you that it really doesn’t – you just tend to forget the good stuff.

What Bullet Journaling Really Is (And Isn’t)

Contrary to popular belief, the Bullet Journal Method wasn’t meant to be a DIY planner system. It’s a tool for mindfulness, clarity, and reflection.

Also contrary – You don’t need any fancy layouts – Just a pen, notebook (analog is key!), and whatever elements work for you.

Some people even use two notebooks alongside each other – a portable pocket notebook for on the go, and a larger journal for deep dives.

Core BuJo Elements That Actually Improve Your Life

Basic system and symbols. Keep it functional – tasks, events, notes, & feelings.
Daily highlights and/or gratitude. Negativity bias is real (your brain overlooks the good to protect you from the bad) – combat it by tracking your wins, even small ones. (Bonus points if you turn your highlight log into relevant song or show titles!)
Habit trackers. When motivation wanes, proof of progress will encourage you to practice discipline & resilience.
Braindumps & freewriting. Mental decluttering = less stress and better focus (more on that next week!)
Goal reflections. Are you moving toward the life you want? (More on that in a couple weeks!)
Interstitial journaling. Practice mindfulness by taking a pause throughout your day to log your real-life moments in real time (who, what, where). Your future self will thank you.

There’s Always a Way to Deal With It : BuJo Problem Solving

Instead of freaking out, work through it using these prompts:

What’s bothering you? (Name it.)
Why is it bothering you? (Dig deeper.)
Do you have control over it?
1. Yes? Brainstorm real solutions, then create a mini action plan.
2. No? How can you reframe your perspective and reactions? Control what you can.

Get Your Mind Under Control

Bullet Journaling isn’t about being organized just for the hell of it – it’s about taking control of your thoughts, actions, and emotions. You can’t trust your brain to remember everything or to be rational in every moment.

Write it down. Track what matters. Improve your life.

Have a favorite bullet journaling hack? Drop it in the comments!

If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.

And here’s a couple related things I’ve found interesting lately :

An article about reflections in your Bullet Journal

A video with a helpful explanation of daily logging / interstitial journaling

Rock on!

Rebel With a Pen : How to Journal Like a Rockstar

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(Retrospective note : I may have gotten a little carried away with this post because I LOVE JOURNALING SO MUCH. You’ve been warned. 😘 Though there is a little TL;DR at the end.)

Forget the fluffy prompts about your favorite ice cream flavor – journaling isn’t just for Pinterest vibes. It’s a weapon for clarity, self discovery, and flipping the script on life’s chaos.

I’ve been journaling pretty consistently for over 30 years, and I’d love to share some unique ideas with you!

Why Journaling is the Ultimate Rebel Move

It’s yours; no rules. You do what you want with it. Write messy, angry, sarcastic – Whatever feels real in any given moment.
Supercharged memory keeping. Personally, I have to write everything down or it gets lost in the abyss of chaos in my brain. It’s fun to add pictures, drawings, ephemera, etc to help you reexperience momentous events!
Empowerment through reflection. Your journal can be a safe space to contemplate unconventional ideas, or take control of your thoughts and emotions rather than letting them control you.
Self reflection in a noisy world. Journaling helps you tune out the noise and focus on your voice. Reduce stress, discover yourself, embrace your imperfections, boost your creativity, and gain insight into who you truly are.

How to Journal Like a Rockstar

Step 1 : Forget the aesthetics. Or don’t. Make it yours!

It doesn’t need to be pretty. A beat up notebook and a pen that barely works will suffice. You don’t even need to write full sentences – bullet points, doodles, or rants are all fair game.
Or… Get creative if you want! Use bold colors, write diagonally across the page, tear shit up and paste it in with gum if you like.
Better yet, do both!

Step 2 : Don’t overthink it (unless you want to).

Set a timer for 5 minutes and spew your thoughts out, raw and unfiltered. Being brutally honest promotes personal growth.

Inspiring Creative Weapons to Consider

Analog anarchy. Different sizes and different paper thicknesses are good for different purposes.
Digital nomadic. Apps like Notion and Daybook are good options.
Prompts. The analog Daily Stoic Journal is insightful, the Five Minute Journal has both analog and digital options, and the Rosebud app uses AI to provide prompts and insights twice daily!

Creative and Unconventional Journaling Approaches

I’ve compiled more ideas than anyone could ever want…lol :

write angry letter you probably shouldn’t send
burn the rulebook : What would you do differently if society didn’t dictate your choices?
collage your emotions or aspirations when words feel limiting
essence journaling : a one sentence summary or highlight of your day, or just give each day a song or TV show title
daily log, like Austin Kleon’s logbook : just the facts (who, what, where)
gratitude (I know, not unconventional, but it promotes a positive mindset and mindful appreciation of “the little things”)
anti gratitude : acknowledge and accept your personal imperfections and flaws – how can you use them to your advantage?
stream of consciousness chaos / morning pages : 3 pages, 5 minutes, whatever constraint you want to use, just braindump everything on your mind and don’t stop writing (even if you’re just saying “I don’t know what to write” repeatedly like Bart Simpson on a chalkboard)
private vlogs and be considered journaling, and can even get you comfortable in front of a camera, which can actually be a valuable skill these days
note peoples’ names, and use them (your barista might eventually gift you a freebie!)
Bullet Journaling didn’t really start as a planning method or creative outlet, y’know?!?
argue with yourself – challenge your negative self talk
write about the same event from multiple perspectives (your own, the other person’s, and an objective observer’s) to gain insight and compassion
mind maps can go in all sorts of directions
track your habits, or moods
commonplacing (link PKM post) : write down quotes or paragraphs that get you thinking, and reflect on them
poems, dreams, sketches, sticker bombs
periodic reflections, like my “Where I’m At” posts
brainstorm your passion projects
goal tracking : “What’s working? What’s not? What’s next?”
daily check in : “What went well? What sucked? What can I do better tomorrow?”
shadowwork prompts, like “What are my biggest fears?” or “What are my darkest secrets?”

A List of Lists to Make When You’re Bored

(Because I’m into lists right now lol)

Things I’ve Been Told I Can’t Do (But Will Anyway)
Lies Society Told Me (and the Truths I’m Replacing Them With)
Ways I Can Rebel Against My Own Expectations
Traditions I Don’t Care About (and Why That’s Okay)
Reasons I’m a Total Badass
Things I Love About Myself That Others Might Find “Weird”
Compliments I’ve Always Wanted to Hear (and Can Give Myself)
Wins I Don’t Celebrate Enough
Things That Make Me Unique (and Why That’s Awesome)
Things I’ve Been Afraid to Admit (Until Now)
Habits That Are Holding Me Back (and What to Replace Them With)
Moments When I Felt Powerful
People, Places, or Things That Drain My Energy
What I’d Do If Failure Wasn’t a Concern
Rebel Mantras I Want to Live By
Songs That Feel Like an Anthem for My Life
People I’d Love to Have a Conversation With (Dead or Alive)
Things That Inspire Me to Dream Big
Tattoos I’d Get (Even If Just for Fun)
Things I Want to Learn This Year That Have Nothing to Do with Work
Ways I Can Simplify My Life Without Losing What Matters
Goals That Feel Impossible (But Aren’t)
People or Things I Need to Let Go Of
Times I Trusted My Gut and It Paid Off
Risks I Took That Changed Everything
Mistakes I Don’t Regret
Dreams I Let Go Of and Why They Don’t Fit Me Anymore
Winter Activities That Bring Me Joy
Ways I Can “Hibernate” to Recharge This Month
Goals I Want to Bloom This Spring
Small Luxuries That Feel Like Self-Love
Times I Took a Stand: List moments where you stood up for yourself or others.
People Who Inspire Me: Write about people who have had a positive impact on your life.
Unapologetic Desires: Things you want in life without feeling the need to justify them to anyone.
Moments of Pure Joy: Instances that brought you immense happiness.
Random Acts of Kindness: Acts of kindness you’ve done or received.
Unexplored Places: Destinations you’ve always wanted to visit.
“Mini Adventures for My Soul”
Boundaries I Refuse to Compromise
Toxic Patterns I’m Consciously Dismantling
My Personal “Fuck It” Manifesto
Ways I’ve Outgrown Past Versions of Myself
Personal Definitions of Success (That Don’t Involve Money)
My Non-Negotiable Personal Values
“Things I’d Tell My Younger Self” (But wouldn’t listen to)

What I Do (For Now)

I use a combination of digital and analog.

Digital :

Notion : I have a database for journaling that includes some templates with prompts, but I mostly just use a daily template for habit and mood tracking and daily “interstitial journaling”. I use my daily logs for weekly (etc) reviews, and for long form journaling in my analog notebook when I have time.
Rosebud AI : It’s a pretty fascinating free app that provides prompts and insights, which I’ve found pretty useful at times!

Analog :

A6 pocket notebook : Kind of a commonplace book and an on the go journal for those rare times when I can take myself out to lunch. I usually just note interesting things I’ve heard or read and would like to write more about when I have time.
B6 Stalogy : I fell in love with this size in my Bullet Journal phase. Now I use it as my “zenBLITZ BuJo”, and write all of my posts by hand in it!
A5 Stalogy : My long form journal. Where I do all kinds of stuff. Nothing is off limits.

Why Journaling Matters for Us “Rebels”

It’s a tool for liberation from overthinking and self doubt
It’s a way to recharge by reflecting on where you’re at and where you want to go, without anyone else’s input
It builds self awareness by helping you find your truth so that you can fight for it

Things to Keep in Mind

Try to keep things mostly positive or light hearted. Like 80/20. It’s good to vent, and a journal can be a cathartic place for that, but it’s not good to ruminate. Draw the line somewhere.
Switch up methods as needed. It’s yours, so do you!
Review and reflect! It’s essential to browse through what you’ve written and created from time to time so you can gain some insight and perspective from your experiences. You might just be surprised.

Conclusion / TL;DR

Rockstar journaling is about breaking away from expectations (even your own) and writing your way to clarity, confidence, and self love. The key is to make it fun and personally meaningful. There’s no shortage of ideas to inspire your creativity, but just using a pen and paper to vent your mind is a beautiful creation in its own right! It’s yours – do as you please.

So grab a notebook, ditch the rules, and start journaling your way to a life that’s unapologetically yours. Your story deserves to be heard – even if it’s just by you.

If you enjoyed this post, please give it a “like”, share it with someone you think would enjoy it, and be sure to share your own unconventional journaling techniques in the comments below!

And if you’d like to watch a couple of quick videos about journaling that I’ve recently enjoyed, check these out :

Where I’m At #4

Where I'm At

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life. Any particular goals I’m working on will be highlighted, so you can easily see what I’m actively working on improving (and see that I do try to practice what I preach). Leave a comment & give me ideas for things you’d like to see me write individual posts about!

Hi everyone! It’s been a rough month for my family – we all got COVID mid-November, & apparently we’re all still dealing with the aftermath. Yeah, seriously. My kids’ pediatrician told me I was probably misdiagnosed with a sinus infection because she said they’ve regularly seen some COVID symptoms lasting up to 15 weeks. So there’s that.

On a better note, our holidays were lovely, & I hope yours was as well!

Let’s get into how December went for me…

planner : I actually just switched up my Notion setup a little bit! My main dashboard is now a gallery view of the PARA method, with “Projects” being the equivalent of my planner. “Areas” are the equivalent of the roles you see here, with each area having a separate page & each relevant page having a section for tasks & notes. I like it a lot so far! Also, I’m really excited to move into a new journal! I’ve made an entire year fit into an A5 Stalogy for the second year in a row, & that poor notebook is about to explode!

self (body & mind, emotion & education) : I’ve really been struggling with my diet & exercise ever since I first got sick; that’s a real challenge for me – picking back up after illness. (Something for me to work on!) I’ve really been enjoying journaling & writing my blog posts; haven’t been terribly interested in reading any books lately (I keep trying to read Tim Ferriss’ 4 Hour Workweek because I like his writing style & some of his ideas, but I just can’t stay interested.) Emotionally, I’ve been pretty up & down because of being sick. Bleh.
marriage : We’ve been rediscovering old ways to have adventures, considering the weather. It’s been fun going “window shopping” & spontaneous restaurants for dinner!
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls have been great, despite having a very persistent cough. Their favorite Xmas gifts included some Magna Tiles, Miraculous Dolls, & Furblets lol
teacher (K & PK) : We’ve been taking it easy this month, to prep for & enjoy the holidays. We’ve worked through the curriculum a little bit when they felt like it, but most of this month’s education centered around the science of the changing seasons, measuring ingredients for homemade treats, playing games, & doing holiday worksheets.
zB : Had to move some things around because I was really struggling to maintain focus this month, & I wasn’t sure if I’d have enough posts ready for the month, but I somehow managed to pull everything together & I’m excited to share those with you!!!
homemaker (finance, cleaning, travel) : I don’t even wanna talk about the finances this month LOL – I just keep telling myself “tis the season!” I’ve gotten a lot more cleaning done with us not focusing so much on school, so that’s good. And I’ve been trying to plan some interesting adventures for these cold & snowy months – We’ll see what happens!
witch – Nothing going on here; I really should try to find some time to at least meditate more regularly, though I do a little bit every night.
reseller – Absolutely nothing going on here, besides a couple of sales. I’m still very much in limbo about how I want to go about my whole resale business right now & in the future. It’s just not a priority.

Currently

eating – Lots of soup!

drinking – Hot lime water 😋

watching – Beast Games, Xmas movies, Lincoln Lawyer, & finished Royal Pains just in time for it to leave Netflix!

reading – Blog posts

playing – “Beat the Parents “ & “Would You Rather?” (card games from the Dollar Tree that I got the kids hehe)

buying – All kinds of stuff we don’t need, just cuz it’s discounted post-holiday (we really need to put the brakes on! LOL)

listening to – Rain!

celebrating – My youngest is turning 4! 🥳

pinning – self care, journaling, homeschool stuff, & Green Day lol

planning – Kiddo’s bday, goals

feeling – Excited for a new year!

How was your December, & what are you looking forward to in January? Let me know in the comments below!!

And if you’d like, feel free to use this free desktop background I made on Canva for whatever you’d like (I was just screwing around while I was sick, hehe) 😘

See you next week!!

A Guide to Celebrating the Winter Solstice for Inner Balance

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For those living in the northern hemisphere, the winter solstice arrives on December 21 this year—a night longer than all others because we’re the furthest distance from the sun that we’ll be all year. Winter is a great season for rest, reflection, and renewal, so here are some ideas for celebrating the solstice with introspective practices, ways to connect with nature, and some nurturing self-care.

Introspective Practices

Meditation – There’s no better way to slow down and absorb the moment than spending some time in meditation. Meditation is an especially wonderful practice this time of year, whether a few minutes of mindfulness or an hour visualizing how you’d like the coming month to unfold.

Journaling – There are tons of year end journaling prompts on the internet (I’ll even be posting some in the coming weeks!), but you could always just freewrite anything that comes to mind. Explore the feelings of the moment, or the season. List your favorite seasonal changes or holiday traditions. You could even script a manifestation for the coming year, or reflect on your progress from the past year.

Gratitude – Write a long list of everything that fills your soul with peace (seriously, the longer the better). Your accomplishments, your loved ones, everything you like. It’s good for your whole wellbeing to be able to see the joy of your life in one long list.

Connecting with nature

Dawn or dusk walk – If you’re nothing like me & can stand to bundle up & trek around outside this time of year, that can be a great way to get in tune with nature. Absorb the smell of the cold air, the sights of tracks in the snow perhaps, & the refreshing feel of a cold breeze on your cheeks. Or, if you are like me, spend a few mindful minutes looking out your window to see what fauna you can spot.

Decorate with found items – Bringing some nature into your living space can be another great way to connect with this time of year. Make a special spot to decorate with pine cones, pine branches, or anything else you find outside.

Stargazing – This is another one for those of you who don’t mind the cold (Hello, I’m the Heat Miser! lol) Even I will find myself pausing for a moment after a late-night grocery run to appreciate the refreshing cold air & a sparkling starry sky.

Self care ideas

Warm bath – Bubbles & bombs or not, soaking in some hot water is soothing to the soul. You can add some essential oils as you fill the tub (bonus points for seasonal scents), light a candle with the intent of rejuvenation, or play some relaxing music. Even a quick soak after a shower is good for you.

Enjoy some herbal tea – Herbal tea doesn’t typically have much (if any) caffeine, so feel free to enjoy it any time of day or night. Keep it on a cup warmer & enjoy it for hours if you like! Doing so will encourage you to pause throughout the time it takes to drink it, & savor the warmth, smell, & taste it provides.

Digital detox, or information detox – Take a break from absorbing the wealth of information & entertainment our screens provide. Indulge in some “analog” hobbies such as arts, crafts, reading a book, playing a board game with loved ones, or any other offline activity that feels good to you. Your peace of mind will thank you!

Conclusion

The winter solstice is a wonderful reminder of the cycles of life & how we each fit into that process. Taking some time for introspection, self care, & getting in tune with the natural world around you are great ways to find some inner balance, especially amidst the busy holiday season.

How do you celebrate the winter solstice? Share your thoughts & practices in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!