“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
planner : I’m pretty excited, actually 🫠 I’m hoping to get back into planning parties this year, starting with our annual Crockpot & Retro Video Games party this month. I think it’ll be fun. Homeschool planning & meal planning are done for the month, so…yippie. And we gotta pick a day to go bowling!
self : Doing…pretty good, lol. Winter has my whole body, especially my sinuses, pretty cranky – no humidifier is powerful enough for this shit! But I’m been maintaining my mindful diet (for the most part) & my exercise routines (which I altered to allow for daily yoga, tai chi, & meditation). I’m not really losing much weight, but I’m not gaining any either! So that’s good. And despite occasional brain fog (cuz I sleep like absolute shit), I’m getting a bit more clear headed. I think. And I’ve been making more time for creative pursuits, which is pretty fulfilling.
marriage : Doing pretty good. We’re always trying to find ways to adjust & keep ourselves (& each other) entertained, hehe
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good. Again, no injuries to report, so…yay 😅 They’re both having a lot of fun with the kid’s makeup kit I got Bubby for her birthday. Oh, we went to Rainforest Cafe for Bubby’s bday, per her request. She loves that place!
I can’t believe my Bubby’s 5!!! 😭
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well. Bubby’s really enjoying the “Playing Preschool” curriculum, & she’s learning a lot, but she does miss doing computer work heh. BooBoo loves math (she even wrote up some math facts for Bubby on her birthday card, to “help her out for next year” lol!), and she also loves learning to play the “piano” (the keyboard we got for Xmas), especially the YouTube tutorials for K Pop Demon Hunters songs 🤪
zenBLITZ : Doing pretty good here. I’m ahead enough on my blog posts, and I created a “quote board” to post favorite quotes on my Facebook page. No progress on my novella, though – I haven’t had much time (or urge) to work on it lately, but that’s fine. I’ve been doing quite a bit of leather crafting & crochet, when I have time.
She’s more enthused than she looks, I swear 😂
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Yeah. Whatever. LOL. So help me god, we will being taking a trip this year!!!
witch : Daily yoga & meditation has been plenty fulfilling for me lately, hehe
Currently
eating – Soup. I love me some soup. 😋
drinking – Tea, wine, Skrewball peanut butter whiskey in my coffee sometimes
watching – The Traitors, Doom Patrol, leathercraft videos on YouTube
reading – Tao Te Ching, The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, & I just finished Show Your Work by Austin Kleon. I also finished “The Last Time They Met” by Anita Shreve, don’t know if I mentioned that – holy fuck what a slap in the face!
playing – Coin Master, Roblox
buying – Stuff I might need next month because I need a “no buy” month 😅
listening to – Saviors (album) by Green Day – Goodnight Adeline 💚
celebrating – Valentine’s Day? Candlemas! (Being halfway through this very wintery winter is definitely worth celebrating!)
“New year, new you!” You know that’s bullshit, on so many levels.
For one thing, pushing the reset button on the calendar year doesn’t change anything other than a number. People change over time — often quietly, unevenly, and without clean timelines – the dates don’t matter at all.
For another thing, there’s nothing wrong with you such that you need to completely “reinvent yourself” or whatever – Goals are intended for self respect, not self shaming or punishment for not being “good enough”. Everyone could benefit from improving their lives in certain ways, at certain times.
So, while I am writing this post for the new year, I’m going to share some reflections, practical steps, and a loving nudge for all of us to get our proverbial shits together whenever we need it, throughout the year.
Let’s be intentional about how we design our lives, shall we?
Step 1: Reflect Like You Mean It
(You might want to spread these reflection prompts out over a few days. Or weeks, whatever you need to do. 😉)
A. Role Review
Make a list of all of your roles in your life – whatever applies to you.
For example, mine are : myself, wife, mom, homeschool teacher, creator, & household manager.
It might seem like some of those things overlap, and they do because they’re collectively my life, but they’re also separate responsibilities.
What roles in your life carry their own responsibilities – are you a student? A volunteer? And even if your kids are adults, they still count, now just as much as ever.
Once you have your list, go through each role individually & ask yourself the following :
How do I feel about this area, as far as the associated responsibilities & the general vibe?
Why?
What, if anything, would I like to improve here?
No self judgment, just be honest.
If a role feels heavy or resentful, that’s information — not failure.
B. Define Your Ideal Life
Perfection isn’t reality.
Without that in mind, get wild with this one!
What, ideally, would make your life feel peak vibrant, authentic, & exhilarating? Spend a few minutes writing it out.
Make this personal: values-based, vision-based, aesthetic, emotional, or messy.
Dream big!
C. Optional Reflection Prompts
A few more things to ask yourself, if you’d like :
Where in my life am I proud of myself?
Where am I drained?
What’s one thing I’d change immediately if I could?
Step 2: Choose a Word of the Year
This doesn’t need to be too drawn out, and it doesn’t need to be for a whole calendar year.
Pick an anchor word to help you focus your efforts on for now – if it changes, change is good. Just pick one at a time, a truth to lean into for a while to serve as a compass & a reminder of the direction you’re going (which is forward 😉).
Examples I’ve used in the past : simplify, intent, & embody.
Write it somewhere you’ll see it regularly. Make a Canva design & hang it on your wall. Tattoo it on your arm if that’s your thing. Just don’t forget your reminder.
Step 3: The Brain Dump
Set a timer for at least five minutes and free write a list of anything on your mind. And, while you’re at it, everything.
No filtering, no performing as though it’s intended for anyone but you. Just get it all out of your head & onto paper.
Some loose categories to consider : Life + Work + Health + Wealth + Relationships. Maybe even consider some things from your “Fuck Yeah list” or childhood hobbies.
If your brain dump feels overwhelming, that’s the point — you’re emptying the clutter.
Step 4: Prioritize Intentionally
Go back through your brain dump and sort through it :
Hell Yes (non-negotiables or deeply aligned)
Maybe (park for later)
Hell No (things you’re carrying out of guilt or habit) – cross these right out
Then sort through the “Hell Yes” again, as well as your previous reflections – what things take priority for you, right now? What’s important to your wellbeing & sense of self? You really want to minimize this list as much as possible (no more than 2 or 3 things).
Step 5 : Identify the Why
For these priorities, ask yourself why those things matter to you.
Dig deep — the root motivation, the thing that will keep you going during slumps. Does it relate to your values, your identity, your direction in life?
Ask yourself – “If I lose motivation, what truth about this goal will get my ass in gear?”
Step 6: Build the Plan (Projects + Systems)
There are two main ways to execute on most goals – systems & projects.
Projects are time bound, outcome based goals with a definitive ending point. For example, planning a vacation or launching a product.
Systems are repeated behaviors, such as habits, routines, & processes. For example, I have my morning & evening routines, and our homeschool routine – all of these things include habits that better my life (& my kids), which is always the goal.
Pick no more than 1–3 major projects to work on or systems to develop to focus on this quarter.
An Optional Perspective : Experiments
If you have a bit more of a scientific mind, it may be helpful to view these new projects & systems as experiments.
Include:
Hypothesis
Test (action)
Evaluate
Implement or Pivot
“Experiments” remove failure-shame, because they’re just experiments. Try a thing, and if it doesn’t work, try something else.
Keep Yourself Accountable (Gently)
Some people like to tell their loved ones or an online community about their goals to help keep them accountable – they can keep those people updated on their progress.
While I kind of do that here on my blog a little bit, I prefer the visuals of habit tracking in my planners and reflecting regularly in my journals.
Whatever you do, choose something that feels supportive, not punishing if you don’t (or can’t) follow through.
Reflection + Adjustment
Reflection is key, especially if that’s your main accountability protocol.
Even if it’s not, you should definitely ask yourself regularly what’s working with your progress, what’s not working, and how you can make things better or easier for yourself.
For myself, I check off my habit tracker daily. Weekly, I review & see how the week went. And then monthly, I review my weekly reflections & see what I need to adjust.
Your timeframes & means of reflection may be different, but it’s essential to do if you want to see continuous improvements in life.
Real-Life Examples From My Current Goals
For nearly a year now, I’ve been focusing on a few things – my physical health, my writing & creativity, homeschooling, & my marriage. All of these things are major priorities for me for their own reasons, and that hasn’t changed.
For my health goals, I have a daily health log on Notion where I keep myself accountable for the food I eat throughout the days (I can be a bit of an “emo eater” sometimes). I keep a separate analog journal to log my weights & what exercise I do on a daily basis. Weekly, I review these logs & reflect on how I did in my analog journal. (And it’s been pretty neat seeing how my weights have changed over the course of months!)
I track what writing I get done daily in another analog notebook, and reflect on that each week as well. I never feel like I’m getting anything done, but my notebook reminds me that I do get stuff done & encourages me to keep at it!
We follow curricula for most of the girls’ homeschooling, and I’m constantly asking myself if we’re moving along at a reasonable pace. I adjust accordingly, and I keep track of progress on Notion, which makes it super easy when it comes to writing up quarterly reports!
Closing
You certainly don’t need a perfect plan to start, you just need to know where you want to go and what first steps to take on the journey.
One honest step is more powerful than a polished vision board.
Treat the coming year as an experiment in becoming more you, & let’s see where it takes us!
If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.
If you’re comfortable, share your word of the season or one priority in the comments — I love seeing how people design their lives differently!
And if you’d like to watch a video I enjoyed that kind of plays in to what this article was about, check this out 👇
With all the options out there, how do you know which one to choose? Do you even need a reinvented method?
You don’t need a “perfect system.” You need a system that actually fits your life.
Let’s try to figure that out…
Keep It Simple, Stupid. (KISS)
Some people tend to overbuild: too many trackers, too many spreads, too much pressure.
Why?
Sometimes it can be fun, but eventually you’ll likely burn yourself out.
The real red flag: you’re not using it OR it feels like it’s going to explode. Literally.
Focus on minimalism over aesthetic chaos, or too much “quantified self” data that you’ll realistically never give a shit about (ie: 12 mood trackers, tracking water intake by color, etc.)
Focus on what you actually need.
What You Really Need to Plan For
Grab a piece of paper or your journal – it’s list time!
What do you feel the need to plan for in the first place?
Everyone has universal categories :
Appointments & time-specific stuff
Goals / Habits
What else? For me personally, I also need to plan for :
Family adventures
Homeschool
Meal planning
Now ask yourself about each – Does this category make my life easier, or am I adding it because I feel like I should? Cross out the unnecessary & don’t worry about it!
The fewer categories you depend on, the longer the system lasts.
What To Do If Your System Feels Boring
Boring is fine. If it works, don’t fix it.
Consistency is boring. But boring is how you get results.
Overhaul cravings usually mean the current system never felt quite as effective as it needs to be. Ask yourself “why?”
Some small refresh ideas:
Simplify back to only the essentials
Switch up a layout
Add minimal decoration, color, or a theme
Reduce screens by intentionally using paper moments
Pre-Made Planner vs. Build-Your-Own
There are certainly benefits to both.
Pre-made = great for beginners, busy people, and those who hate setup.
DIY = great for people with unique schedules, neurodiverse brains, or flexible lifestyles.
Ask yourself : Do you want structure handed to you? Or do you want the freedom to build something more flexible?
Digital vs. Paper: Choosing Your Tools
Personally, I use both.
Notion strengths:
Holds everything.
Organizes long-term projects, archives, info-dumps, and complex systems.
Perfect for the behind-the-scenes life management.
Paper strengths:
Screen-free
Immediate
Great for daily/weekly overview
Helps cut down distractions
Good for grounding & simplicity
Hybrid = the best of both worlds.
Your planner doesn’t have to be one thing.
Avoiding Planning Fatigue
You don’t need January 1st to start fresh; you can start on any random Tuesday!
Consider your life as a collection of seasons, not years — winter rhythms vs. spring energy vs. summer chaos.
Adjust as life shifts.
(And don’t overdo it!)
My Personal Setup
As I said, I use a hybrid setup as my planning system.
Above is a screenshot of my main Notion dashboard. It’s an adaptation of Tiago Forte’s “PARA Method” (projects, areas, resources, archive) – planner, roles, interests, & archive.
For me, I don’t have any projects that aren’t related to my “roles”, so that section is just my planner – mostly a calendar & running to do lists.
“Roles” are ongoing areas of my life – mostly health (physical & mental), homeschooling, zen BLITZ, & home stuff (shopping lists, budgeting & bills, etc). Each role has its own page with its own databases – for example, my physical health has my workouts so I can cycle through them, & mental health includes my daily journal!
“Interests” holds things that aren’t directly related to my roles – so, information about people, books, restaurants, etc.
And the archive is where things go to die cuz I’ll probably never need them…but maybe I will. 😅
Obviously, you don’t need to use PARA — this is just what works for me.
And this is my Happy Planner Mini. (Nevermind the Fruit Loops stain from my kiddo – that’s part of the charm of analog 😂)
In here, I have monthly calendars so I have a nice overview of things going on, weekly overviews, and daily stuff so I don’t have to look at my phone a zillion times a day.
Obviously, I print my own paper & don’t know how to format it properly for my dumbass printer, but that’s irrelevant. It’s cheap & customizable.
This satiates my desire for a proper “Bullet Journal”. For the most part.
Review
Start with what matters and ignore everything else.
Don’t force yourself into a planner that looks good but doesn’t work.
You don’t need a brand-new system — you just need one that fits your actual life, right now.
Planning is supposed to support you, not stress you out.
Start small. Adjust as needed.
Start with what matters. Ignore the rest. If you like this vibe, hit ‘like,’ share it, and follow along — more rebellious simplicity coming soon.
I recently came across a selfie from about 15 years ago — same hairstyle, same vibe as a selfie I took this summer. Around the same time, I heard the phrase “this is who I am now.” And it got me thinking – who the fuck am I now? Turns out, I’m a lot of things…..
I am punk rock.
I do things my way, but humbly, without arrogance. I try not to judge, I try to approach difficult situations with loving kindness, and I revel in finding calm amidst chaos.
I am a wife.
I married the single coolest and most loving human being I’ve ever met, and we’ve been together for 8 years now. Through thick & thin. We’ve literally jumped through hell for each other.
I am a mom.
Of 2 beautiful, unique, intelligent, loving, creative, independent as hell little girls. They love climbing rocks, foraging for snacks in the yard, and catching toads all while wearing princess dresses & sparkly pink nail polish.
I am a homeschooler.
I love being able to cuddle my kids while helping them learn. I love figuring out their unique nuances, and interests, and seeing where these things take us on a daily basis. And I love creating space for adventures in our everyday life, to show them there’s always lessons to learn wherever you’re willing to look.
I am a creator.
A writer, a crocheter, a digital designer. A “Jill of many trades”. I just wish I could find time to make money off this shit lol!
I am the household manager.
I handle meal planning, groceries, budgeting, bills, cleaning, travel plans, party plans…just about everything.
I am a “chaos witch”.
I mostly practice hearthcraft, and protection & healing magick. My practice is…very much on the back burner to everything else in my life, but I do sneak in little bits of magick here & there.
I was a reseller for a few years.
I enjoyed the whole process, and I enjoyed providing fun things to people who got excited over the often silly things I’d offered. I just didn’t have the time or space to let it grow, and that’s fine.
I was a student a couple times.
I’ve studied psychology, neurology, business, and education. I even tutored psychology one semester (and my student did awesome!), and I was a “peer advisor” a couple times! Never followed through for a degree though, and that’s fine.
I was a patient care assistant in an emergency department for a bit.
I loved the autonomy, the diversity of situations, and the sheer volume of unique patient interactions. And the patients & visitors loved me…because I’m patient, smart, & I genuinely give a fuck. I just couldn’t stand 96% of my coworkers, and that’s fine.
I’ve been a caregiver for most of my life.
For grandparents, parents, friends, and loved ones; throughout illnesses, injuries, and psychological chaos. It’s part of how I was raised, and part of just who the fuck I am.
So that’s me — messy, evolving, and unapologetically real.
Now it’s your turn: Who the fuck are you today? Drop a comment or share this post with someone finding themselves again.
If my words made you smile, nod, or roll your eyes in recognition — hit “like,” share it, or subscribe for more real talk on life, growth, and chaos.
Keep it raw, keep it real. And rock the fuck on. 🤘💚
Everyone has a story worth telling. Even if you think yours is boring, messy, or not original – it is yours, and that makes it powerful.
The world’s drowning in noise, but human honesty still cuts through like feedback at a punk show – AI can’t create real emotion or lived experience, try as it might.
Nothing Is New — But You Are
Literally everything that can be said & done, has been. Nothing’s truly “original” anymore. And that’s ok!
What is unique is your lens — your collection of scars, triumphs, and weird little details. Nobody has ever experienced all the details put together that make up your story, which is a beautiful thing.
And every time you share one of your many truths, someone else out in the world feels a little less alone.
The Healing Power of Sharing
On my second day working the floor as a patient care assistant in an ER, I came across a patient who had ALS & his wife. He was nearing the end, and my job for the moment was to hold his hand & try to keep him calm while he was intubated. It was heartbreaking, knowing a little bit about what he’d been though, & was about to go through, and the same for his wife, because of my own experiences in a caregiver’s role with the disease.
His wife was devastated; she knew what was coming in the days ahead. So, I sat beside her and talked – I introduced myself, mentioned a little bit about my family history with ALS & the caregiver role I’d found myself in, and offered a friendly soul to help her with whatever she needed while in my department (”a warm blanket? Coffee? A hug? I’m not far; I’ve got you!”)
I was asked to help escort him to the ICU when he was deemed stable enough for transport. At the entrance, I was told I could go back to the ER & his wife was told to stay at the door until he was successfully transferred. Overwhelming grief consumed her, and understandably so. So I held her while she cried, gave her a compassionate little pep talk based on what I’d gone through, and stayed until she was invited in with her husband.
Point is, telling your stories can heal you and someone else. That day I saw that stories aren’t just meant to be told — they’re meant to be handed off like torches, sharing some light in moments of darkness.
Finding Your People
The ones who don’t get it will judge — they always have, always will. But honesty attracts the right people, the ones who’ve been waiting for someone like you to speak up.
“Your people” aren’t found through perfection — they’re found through realness. And the more you share your stories, the more your people will find you.
Boundaries and Bravery
All that said, here’s a quick note on discernment — not everything needs to be public, and oversharing can sometimes hurt more than help. It’s always best practice to keep your private information away from the internet altogether as much as possible, and you should never say anything that would hurt yourself or anyone else in any way. Of course, there are exceptions to these “rules”. Thus, discernment.
But don’t let the simple fear of judgment silence you. Everything you say could go either way — and that’s okay.
Bravery isn’t about ignoring fear; it’s about telling the truth anyway. If someone doesn’t like it & decides to troll? – FUCK ‘EM! They’re not you, and oftentimes those who lash out do so out of fear or the inability to understand. And that’s fine – you do you.
The Punk Rock of Humanity & Humility
In a world that’s increasingly artificial (AI, social media perfection, etc.), your realness is your rebellion.
Every time you tell your story honestly, you’re flipping off the illusion of perfection. (And all perfection is illusion!)
Celebrate your chaos, your cringe, your truth by sharing it with the world — it’s what makes you irreplaceable.
Write it, paint it, sing it, whisper it into the void. Someone out there needs to hear it — maybe even you.
If this spoke to you, share it with someone who’s been holding their story back – The world needs more real voices!
And if you want more unapologetic inspiration like this, hit “like,” subscribe, and keep telling your truth.
I know I’ve vaguely mentioned some family chaos that’s occurred over the past few years – It settled down a bit earlier this year, & burnout from the whole situation set in for me.
I’m still burned out. And the chaos has reignited, in (not so) fun new ways.
So, what to do?!?
Focus on self care while plowing through the chaos- that’s all I can do.
Why Self Care Is Non-Negotiable
When you’re dealing with a bunch of shit in life, burnout is inevitable. You can push through all you want, but eventually you’re going to crash & burn.
It might not stop burnout, but it cushions the crash. In my experience, at least. (And I have more than my share of experience in this department, unfortunately.)
Of course, in the midst of true chaos, you probably don’t want to do anything. We all tend toward distraction in the forms of media or comfort foods, or whatever your unhelpful coping mechanism of choice may be.
That’s precisely when you need to shift your focus to self care – Make it just as much of a priority as the bullshit you’re dealing with. You need to maintain focus on your responsibilities, of course, but you also need to focus on your responsibilities to yourself.
Doing so will probably help with whatever emotional fuel is ruminating and adding to the dumpster fire of stress in your head.
When to Practice (Even When You’re Burned Out)
This depends on your situation, of course.
Mornings or evenings (or, ideally, both) seem to work for most people – Whenever you can find some peace to focus on your own wellbeing, if even just for short periods of time.
Figure out what times work best for you, and make an appointment with yourself – if not daily, as often as realistically possible. Even a weekly Do Nothing Day can go a long way!
What Self Care Can Look Like
It depends on you – what would fill your proverbial cup?
A pretty popular method recently has been the idea of a “dopamine menu”, where you list activities you can enjoy for various periods of time (5 minute “appetizers”, hour long “main dishes”, etc). Then when you find yourself with some free time, you choose something off your “menu” instead of doom scrolling or binging TV.
I don’t find myself with very much free time, to be honest.
But I do take time daily to focus on the core necessities of wellness : body, mind, heart, & soul.
Body : intentional physical movement
Mind : reading, learning, creating
Heart : socializing (if even just a quick text to someone I haven’t heard from in a while)
Soul : meditation, spending time outside
And this is where the Excitement Map also comes in handy – If you’re having trouble deciding which activities would soothe your soul in each of those categories, you may find some inspiration from yourself in the map (or “fuck yeah list”, whatever you’d like to call it. 😊)
When You Just Can’t Even
Some days, you’re not gonna meditate or stretch or write affirmations — you’re just trying to exist. And that’s fine. You’re not lazy; you’re overloaded. On those “ugh” days, just show yourself some grace and lower the bar. Drink some water. Get outside and take a few breaths of fresh air. Blast a song that reminds you you’re still alive. Do one tiny thing that says, “I’m still trying.” That’s enough.
I’d love to hear what your go-to self care habits are when life gets messy. Drop them in the comments — I’m sure we could all use some ideas!
If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.
Sometimes, the way we view our circumstances can either propel us forward or hold us back. It’s not about dismissing how we truly feel but about finding a perspective that’s more useful, more productive, and ultimately more empowering.
The Power of Perspective
Life is rarely black and white. The same situation can feel overwhelming or manageable, depending on the lens through which we view it. For example, a setback at work might initially feel like a failure, but shifting your perspective can reveal it as an opportunity to learn, grow, or even pivot in a new direction.
The key is to acknowledge your emotions without letting them dictate your entire outlook. It’s okay to feel frustrated, disappointed, or even stuck. But once you’ve processed those feelings, ask yourself: Is there another way to look at this?
When my ex left after nearly 11 years, I was understandably devastated for a week or so – Then I realized that, while we were meant to be together for a time, we’d definitely pushed it beyond its “best by date”.
Why Perspective Matters
Perspective shapes our reality. When we’re stuck in a negative mindset, it’s easy to spiral into self-doubt or inaction. But when we consciously choose to reframe our thoughts, we open ourselves up to new possibilities.
For instance, instead of thinking, “I’ll never get this right,” try, “This is challenging, but I’m learning something valuable.” This subtle shift doesn’t erase the difficulty of the situation, but it does make it feel more manageable.
I’ve been learning about shifting perspectives in unexpected ways — sometimes through everyday moments with my step-daughter, and sometimes through heartbreak I’ll never fully understand. With both, I’m reminded that while I can’t control how the story ends, I can choose what lessons I carry forward.
How to Shift Your Perspective
Acknowledge Your Feelings Start by recognizing how you truly feel. Suppressing emotions only makes them harder to process.
Ask Reflective Questions What’s another way to look at this situation? What’s the lesson here? How can I grow from this?
Focus on What You Can Control Instead of fixating on what’s out of your hands, direct your energy toward actionable steps.
Practice Gratitude Even in tough times, there’s usually something to be grateful for. Shifting your focus to these positives can help balance your perspective.
The Balance Between Honesty and Optimism
Shifting your perspective doesn’t mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine. It’s about finding a balance between honesty and optimism. You can acknowledge the challenges while still looking for ways to move forward.
For example, if you’re feeling stuck in your career, you might say, “I’m not where I want to be, but I have the skills and determination to get there.” This approach validates your current experience while keeping the door open for progress.
Final Thoughts
Life is full of ups and downs, and how we choose to view those moments can make all the difference. By shifting your perspective, you’re not undermining your feelings—you’re giving yourself the tools to navigate them more effectively.
So the next time you’re faced with a challenge, take a moment to step back and ask yourself: Is there a more useful way to look at this? You might be surprised at how much of a difference it can make.
I don’t always get this right — sometimes rumination still spirals into negativity — but reminding myself to ask, ‘Is there another way to look at this?’ has pulled me out of so many mental ruts.
Thanks for reading! If this resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might need a little perspective shift today.
👉 What perspective shift has changed YOUR life? Drop it in the comments — your story might be exactly what someone else needs today.
Why did I think I’d escape the good ol cliche “mid life crisis”? Oh yeah, because I was sure I already went through one like ten years ago. Yet here we are.
I keep coming across reminders that I need to “Reclaim a part of myself”. The random stale Camel from the pack I’ve had for 3 years because I quit smoking 6 years ago. A renewed passion for music and concerts (since I was the local ska princess 20+ years ago lol). And craving urbex, deep conversations, and fun parties.
Or at least an occasional break from homeschooling, making dinners, & attempting to clean the house (always a futile goal).
Is it a mid life crisis though? Or emotional burnout from all the bullshit I’ve been through the past few years (caregiving, stress, the world melting down)?
Here’s my rally cry to my fellow weirdos, skeptics, overthinkers, & black sheep dreamers who want more out of life but refuse to vision board it with a fake smile & a $6 latte. The word “manifesting” itself might sound like glitter & girlbossing – but fuck all that.
This isn’t about fake positivity & mood boards, or waiting on the universe like it’s Uber Eats. True manifestation is about clarity, commitment, & creation, not crystals & vibes. It’s about owning what you want, & doing the work to get it.
You don’t need rituals directed to the spirits of the universe or a woke third eye – just a decision & a direction. All manifestation really means is putting your energy toward something specific instead of letting it leak everywhere.
It’s clarity & consistent action. That’s it. You don’t even have to believe in yourself to begin, you just have to start. Confidence is the result, not the starting requirement.
Daydream With Purpose
The “misfit” version of manifestation isn’t about pretending things are already perfect, it’s about getting honest about what you want. Let yourself imagine your wild, weird, perfect life shit – that’s your target.
Ask yourself:
What do I keep fantasizing about?
What kind of day do I want to wake up to?
If no one were watching, what would I create?
The Misfit Manifestation Method
Here’s the no-frills, anti-fairy-dust game plan :
Step 1 : Choose ONE thing. Don’t try to manifest everything – start with one goal. Money? Energy? Space to create? You’ll gain momentum once you start.
Step 2 : Make a rough plan. It doesn’t need to be a 90-day strategic breakdown. Just…what can you do today? What needs to happen this week? Even a messy plan beats waiting for the planets to align in your favor.
Step 3 : Do the stuff. Show up. Make the call. Post the thing. Build the system. Learn the tool. Action builds belief, not the other way around.
Step 4 : Adjust, don’t quit. If it’s not working, then whatever. Tweak it. Pivot. Realign. Your goals are supposed to evolve. Just don’t ghost yourself when it gets uncomfortable.
Why “Believing in Yourself” is Overrated
It’s normal to lack confidence when you start anything – how else can you learn?
Action builds confidence. Every time you show up, you grow. Stronger regret comes from what you didn’t do, not from trying & shifting course as needed.
Rebel Energy & Relentless Faith
You’re not here to live a quiet, tiny life full of half-finished dreams. And you don’t need perfect clarity or inner peace to begin – you need grit, vision, & the willingness to try.
Daydream. Focus. Act. Adjust. Repeat.
Manifest like a misfit & create the weird, wild life you were made for.
You don’t need a vision board. You need a spine, a soul, & a reason.
If this fired you up, share it with a fellow misfit who’s tired of waiting for signs and ready to make moves. Let’s manifest like we mean it — no glitter required.
🖤 Want more no-fluff self-help for rebels? Subscribe to my newsletter and never miss a hit of clarity. Next week we’ll take this to the next level!!
I remember hearing “When I Come Around” on the radio all the time when it first came out.
A friend of mine was all excited about Insomniac once it was released, so I stayed up late one night to record their performance of “86” on Letterman for her (and I was pretty horrified to be honest – All I could think was “drugs are bad”)
(Am I wrong?)
Regardless, this was my introduction to 90’s punk and ska, which shaped my golden rule of life – Do whatever makes you happy so long as you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else. This was the beginning of my journey into rebellion, introspection, and growth. In a lot of ways, this was the “dawning of the rest of my life”.
By the time Nimrod came out I was officially a fan (I think I’d even joined their “Idiot Club” LOL!) To this day, Nimrod is my favorite album because it really started to showcase the range of their musical talents, from the soothing beach tune “Last Ride In” to the hardcore “Platypus” – That was the most “punk” thing they’d ever done. Good Riddance is still played at some high school graduations! Not to mention that this tour was my first big concert; during “King for a Day”, I started pumping my fist in the air, and Billie Joe with his leopard print thong pointed right at me and got the whole crowd doing it! And I still feel special!
My friend and I accidentally wandered backstage after Warped Tour 2000 – We just wanted to hang out by Lake Erie while we waited for her mom to come take us home. Mike Dirnt walked right up and started chatting with us – I was so shocked and he was so chill, I didn’t even recognize him! A little later, we spotted Billie Joe having a beer with a couple guys – I started crying, MXPX consoled me, and I was speechless when I finally walked up to him. He said “you have really curly hair…I have curly hair too…do you want an autograph?” (Spoiler alert – I lost both Billie & Mike’s autographs, and I am devastated). Mike and Billie were absolutely the two nicest musicians I’ve ever met.
So of course I hated American Idiot. The eyeliner, the whiny emo, the perpetual black and red, and the new wimpy generation that fell in love with them just didn’t sit right with me. (Yes, I know that’s how the true OG punks felt about my fluffy 90’s punk and ska generation.) However, I respect it with every fiber of my being. Even though it’s obnoxiously emo, it’s also perfectly punk – They did what they wanted to do, and earned themselves multiple accolades as a result. They came back bigger, better, and bolder than they started.
To me, American Idiot is akin to Pink Floyd’s epic album The Wall. I can’t even imagine trying to write a story with music and lyrics. And to then see it turned into a Broadway musical?!? It makes me cringe, but it also makes me incredibly proud to have watched how far they’ve come. I adore & respect them regardless, and I’m just happy that they’re all happy, healthy, and empowering generation after generation with authenticity and resilience.
Lesson 1 : Authenticity is Everything
I liked 21st Century Breakdown, but the Foxboro Hot Tubs was just about my favorite thing ever. They wanted to lean into some “garage rock” and play some smaller shows, and so they did. And it was awesome!
Has a song ever randomly caught your attention that you wanted to take serious action in your life? One day, the song “Sally” came on my laptop super loud and slapped some sense into me :
Ok Billie, stop yelling at me!
It reminded me to push for what I want and don’t let anything get in the way. It reminded me to be who I am despite judgmental shit-talking extended family members, and to overcome the internal barriers I’d put up because of them.
Green Day plays music they want to play and they do what they want to do, reminding everyone to embrace who they are unapologetically, even when it doesn’t fit in with other peoples’ expectations.
How can you ditch one way you’re “faking it” this week?
Lesson 2 : Resilience Means Riding Out the Hard Times
Transformation is inevitable through difficulties – For better or worse depends on you.
Billie’s openness with his struggles over some of the things he’s dealt with gives hope to those who are dealing with similar circumstances. My mom passed away when I had just turned 15, and I felt completely lost. But knowing that Billie lost his dad when he was young, and seeing the beautifully inspirational man he’d grown up to become gave me hope that I’d figure it out.
Another example is how the whole band suffered a ton of stress as young punk “celebrities” – As fun as it could be at times, there was still tons of pressure from the record company, guilt for not spending more time with their growing families, and so on. With time, they learned to adapt and do what they had to do to preserve their own sanity as much as possible. A small example being that Billie occasionally shuts down his social media to clear his head (something we should all probably do!)
A big example is all the hate they got after releasing Warning, which was blown out of the water when they released American Idiot.
Suck it, haters – Just LOOK at that CROWD!
Failure or stagnation is just a part of growth, unfortunately. Write down a past failure or struggle in your own life, and how it led to something better (or could in the future).
Live Loud
What’s one way you’ve embraced authenticity or resilience in your own life? Drop a comment & let’s geek out about punk, ska, and all things rebellious!
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zen BLITZ 
