Where I’m at #9

“Where I’m at” posts are just random updates about what’s going on in my life at any random time, based on the areas / roles in my life.

planner : Hm. I’m not much of a planner anymore, heh. Normally I’d be all about adventures this time of year, but we don’t have much time to work with because of homeschool & kids’ extracurricular activities. Next party we’re due for is Tie Dye, but only one of my invited guests is gonna be able to make it…I think (which is fine cuz SiL’s my fave lol) – I’m looking forward to dying some onesies for my step granddaughter hehe. Then BooBoo’s bestie’s bday party is gonna be at some bumper car thing, so that should be fun. And I’m hoping to go to a concert by myself later in the month (cuz OMFG I need some “me” time!!! And I need to see if my old friend is still around…cuz I miss him too much…)
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Hmmm… I’m hanging in there. I’ve been on a pretty strict but enjoyable diet & exercise routine, and I’ve lost about 5 lbs the past month! More importantly – I feel pretty great (except my scoliosis is pretty mad at me, but whatever heh). My mind’s been a bit chaotic though, to be honest. Lots swirling around my mind – been trying to get it to go somewhere, but it’s still fighting with me. (Shouldn’t force it, I know. Meditate & be patient, I know.)
marriage : Doing pretty well! Trying. He’s been doing pretty good, & I’ve been trying to support that. I’m just glad things are finally settling down after the chaos we’ve been navigating together the past couple years.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are…kids. LOL. Small children are terrorists, I swear (is my blog being flagged for using that word?!? LOL) Everyone has their cycles – they’re in a particularly challenging time right now lol
teacher (K & PK) : Oh boy. Among thoughts swirling & not going anywhere productive is homeschool. I’ve got so much to do, & I want to do so much more, but I have to find time to do it, and…AAAGH! Plus, I’ve gotta get all the legal stuff situated for BooBoo to go into first grade – yippie skippie hehe. They’re doing good, though. BooBoo can read like a champ at this point, & she’s been really enjoying working on math more. Bubby’s starting to identify more letters & numbers, so I guess patience is key with dyslexia (though we’re not completely sure if she’s dyslexic or just stubborn heh). Both girls are enjoying the KiwiBox Tinker Crate, where they have to assemble their toys & understand how they work before they use them (yay STEM! lol)
zB : Ugggggh. (Sorry for all the frustration LOL!) I’m sick of writing SEO optimized, audience focused, butter & sugar bullshit content. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve written, but… While algorithms & Google trends love articles like “26 ways to be more vibrant than Blippi”, I’m kinda making myself nauseous lol. I’d like to maintain the edgy self help bend, but not exclusively. Entertainment, community…and whatever’s truly on my mind at the time – that’s where I’d like zenBLITZ to head from here on.
homemaker : Fuck all that. Like, all of it. LOL. No…finances are fine, cleaning isn’t as important as other things, yardwork is my jam when it’s not fucking raining, and that’s it. I refuse to make travel plans until the skoolie is ready to go, & it’s very much not, so…

Currently

eating : Lots of fucking salads! LOL

drinking : Water, wine, & coffee

watching : Poker Face is pretty good. And Twisted Metal. Younger, of course.

reading : Still working on “Everything is Fucked” by Mark Manson, but I’m struggling to find time for it lately

playing : with the kiddos

buying : stuff to tie dye

listening to : All kinds of stuff I forgot I liked!

celebrating : Summer!!!

pinning : Green Day, homeschool, exercise

planning : Tie Dye party, baby shower

feeling : Unsure…

Real Talk: How to Function When Life Super Sucks

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Let’s Get Real : When Happiness Feels Like a Scam

It seems like everyone’s always chasing happiness, as though it’s the ultimate goal of life. Romanticizing happiness like that, however, can really just set us up for failure, especially when we feel like we’re just struggling to survive.

Here’s a little truth bomb for thought, from Mark Manson – “Comfort with your core misery is a form of happiness.” I suppose accepting, understanding, and approaching with compassion your underlying (angst, sadness, or whatever) is the key to freedom from its control.

Even Stoic philosopher king Marcus Aurelius was dealt a super shitty hand throughout his life, yet he showed up for it. Every. Damn. Day.

How to Deal When It All Feels Pointless

“We continue to rise because it’s the only way forward.” – Ryan Holiday

Start with the basics (especially if you’re at rock bottom) :

Eat something that didn’t come out of a crinkly wrapper. Your mind, just like your body, needs actual nutrients to feel good.
Move your ass, even if it’s just a casual stroll.
Sleep, hydrate, repeat.

2. Don’t numb out. You’ll only cause yourself more problems.

No drugs. No binges. No “maybe if I just…” decisions.
That one night stand? Definitely not the solution!
Therapy & medication are tools, not weaknesses. If your brain is sick, help it heal – no one worth a shit is judging you.

What to Do Instead of Spiraling

Journal. And get ugly about it. Be honest, even if it’s petty & especially if it’s dark. Then flip the script – What would you say to someone you love if they were feeling the way you do?
Lean on your people, even if it feels awkward or vulnerable. Any decent human will want to lift another up.
Do one tiny thing to look forward to. A creative project, a cheap vacation, plan a local hike, or learn something weird on YouTube.
Volunteer. Sometimes, giving a shit about someone else helps us give a shit about ourselves again.
Develop healthy routines to help you get through each day.

When You Feel Like Nobody Cares

Quick sad story – My mom died at home of complications from ALS four days after my 15th birthday. (Worst. Birthday. Ever.) I remember sitting on the couch in front of her while my aunt called the coroner & distant family members in the other room, and my father did shots & smoked cigarettes with my uncle outside. I asked myself, “now what do I do? How do I grieve? How do I move forward from this?” And then I realized I was left alone with the empty shell of my mom. And I screamed in agony, feeling like I didn’t matter.

This just magnified my tendency to shut down and disappear when I’m in pain. As an adult, I try hard to consciously choose not to revert to that – I try to make sure I reach out to others just to say “hi, how are ya?!?” (even though I feel like no one does that in turn).

A little reminder (for myself, & you)…

If you ever feel like no one gives a fuck – you’re not alone, or broken, or anything like that. That pain has a root. But isolation isn’t really going to make anything better. Reach out anyway – you’ll never know if some light will reach back otherwise.

Selective Apathy : A Survival Skill in a Loud World

“Let the chaos settle, & clarity will follow”

From there, we need to focus on caring deeply about things that matter to us, & not at all about things that drain us. Mindfulness is a matter of noticing where your energy goes unattended, & rerouting it with intention.

According to the Dalai Lama (& a million philosophers before him), the only constant in life is change. Suffering occurs as a natural response when we are resistant to change. When we are capable, we need to let go – accept it, so we can address it & turn it around by finding any possible meanings & lessons hidden beneath the pain.

You Don’t Have to Be Happy to Live Well

You’re not broken because you’re not blissed out. You’re still here. Still trying. And that definitely matters. You are not alone, and the world is better with you in it. Feel & live loud, even if it gets a bit ugly at times. The golden rule in life, in my opinion, is to do whatever you want so long as you don’t hurt anyone, including yourself.

If you’re in the thick of it right now — I see you. Keep doing the next right thing, even if it’s tiny. Leave a comment, message me, or just save this for later. You’re not alone in the mess.

If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe to my weekly newsletter zen BLITZ.

Rock on!

Rebel Self Care : Redefining Love and Wellness for Yourself This February

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Self care has been hijacked by overpriced candles and Insta-worthy aesthetics. It’s time to take it back and make it your own – honest, accessible, and tailored to your needs with unique methods of accepting your authentic self!

What Rebel Self Care Really Means

Rebel self care is about rejecting the cliches by only saying “yes” to whatever fuels you (even if it is cliche). It’s also about rebelling against “hustle culture” and complete selflessness. It’s about embracing boundaries and prioritizing your needs. Self love isn’t narcissistic and self care isn’t selfish, they’re necessary for self preservation.

Create a Self Care Plan That Doesn’t Suck

Step 1 : Identify what drains you

List 3 things you despise doing, and brainstorm how you can minimize, delegate, delete, or make them fun.

Step 2 : Identify what fuels you

Ask yourself “What makes me feel like me?” Make as long a list as you can.

Step 3 : Commit to regular acts of self care

Schedule days, make it a habit, and don’t let anything get in your way.

9 Rebel Self Care Ideas

Physical Wellness Basics Done Your Way

Forget 8 hours & calorie counting – What fuels your energy and makes you feel alive? What is your body asking for more or less of?
Make exercise a celebration, not a punishment – Dance like you’re in a primitive tribe, host a personal silent disco, go for an urbex hike (carefully!), or punch a pillow
Hibernate like a boss or schedule a Do Nothing Day – Rest isn’t lazy, it’s recharging for your next move

Break the Mental and Emotional Self Care “Rules”

Twisted journaling – write angry letters that you’ll never send, list what you won’t do this week, or create a mood board with magazine clippings
Practice selective apathy – Choose where to care and let the rest go
Therapy or vent sessions – Whether a pro or a trusted friend, let it out
Mindful daydreaming – Occasionally indulge in intentional fantasies about your ideal life, overcoming challenges, etc. Positive, productive daydreaming is akin to visualization, which can improve confidence and mindset.
Rage bake a masterpiece – Embrace the inevitable mess and channel some frustration into a chaotic, experimental baking session. Disaster or not, it’ll be cathartic.

Whatever you try, be sure to practice healthy boundaries and responsible self care. Your mental health is not a trend, it’s your life.

Why Rebellious Self Care is Essential

It’s not just about you. When you take care of yourself, you show up better for your loved ones and your work. “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Choosing to protect your mental health in a world that wants you burned out is revolutionary.

Conclusion

Rebel self care is yours to define. Reject the cookie cutter version and build what feels true to you.

This February, ditch the rules and create a self care plan that’s as bold and unique as you are. Start small. Start now. Start by putting yourself first – unapologetically.

Punk Rock Guidelines for Manifesting a Life You Love

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While daydreaming & scripting may make your wishes feel more attainable, nothing is going to get you where you want to be quite like actually doing something about it. Here are some punk rock guidelines to consider when manifesting a life you love.

Define your vision of success for your life

Nevermind what society, family, friends, acquaintances, or that guy at work who’s always looking at you funny thinks. What makes you feel fulfilled?

Find radical focus & clarity

No fluffy BS – Get crystal clear about your vision of an ideal life. You could even try making a vision board with only things that truly resonate with your authentic self.

Embrace selective apathy to remain focused

Be picky with what you give a fuck about – You may find that you stress yourself out about stupid shit, when you could be focused on making progress toward your goals in life.

Manifest by doing, not waiting

Scripting & visualization are good starting points for an action plan. Just make sure you do the work by taking action on the plan. Small steps daily add up to huge changes in the long run – “It doesn’t matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop” – Confucius

Create an “I don’t care, I’m doing it anyway” list

Make a list of things you’re sick of putting off for “a more opportune time” or “more research”, & commit to trying one thing for each month of the year.

Reframe past failures into fuel

“Whatever doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger.” While that’s a load of crap half the time, you have to try to spin as much of the BS life throws at you as possible. Look for lessons to learn & ways to grow through tough times.

Edit your life’s playlist

Just like a playlist of your favorite music is unique to you, so is your life. Choose which “tracks” you’d like to “play” more or less often, such as your education, career, hobbies, & relationships, and create a lifestyle that is authentic to you.

Stay true to your vision

Whatever you set your intention to, stay stubborn in accomplishing it. Commit to the fact that any obstacle can be overcome, you just need to figure out how.

“Act as if”

Embody the ideal you’re striving for now. Today, & every day. If you want to be an artist, live as an artist would in your eyes, & create something daily. “Fake it til you make it”, if you must (that’s what most people do!)

Celebrate the little things

Be sure to acknowledge your progress with pride. Every step forward is a step in the right direction!

Conclusion

Actively create a life you love – Dream it, do it, own it, & revel in it. Every chance you get.

Which ideas resonated most with you? Let me know in the comments!