Since February is the season of love, I thought I’d write a focused series of posts throughout the month. Don’t worry, they’re not the typical bullshit. I’m thinking self love, romanticizing your life, long term relationships, and “weird” relationships… everything with a bit of a “twist”. 💚 Stay with me here…
Reframing February
The concept of self-love feels lame because it became performative, sanitized, and dishonest – Insta-worthy bubble baths & all that shit. It isn’t lame on its own, but the way it’s portrayed certainly is.
February doesn’t need more aesthetic self-care “advice”.
This post is intended as a humane, grounded, and lived-in reset.
Self love about staying with yourself, not futile attempts toward fixing yourself at the spa.
What “Self-Love” Actually Is (and Isn’t)
Self-love is something I choose when my mind is consumed with perceived chaos.
Sometimes it doesn’t feel good in the moment – it shows up later as steadiness, clarity, or less self-abandonment.
It lives in the thoughts you repeat about yourself – all of yourself.
Sometimes you have to say “fuck you” to your self depreciating bullshit and choose yourself anyway.
The “Self-Love Is Cringe” Problem
The cringe associated with it is a social survival reflex.
Just as much as we’re pressured by the media to indulge in often frivolous acts of self care, we’re also pressured to “hustle, grind, rewind” – push through & ignore anything that gets in the way.
Growing up, caring openly often wasn’t “safe” for me. Especially considering all of the grief my mother’s family has dealt with (ALS, Grief, and Growing Up Too Fast) – I was raised (as I know most of us are) to ignore my feelings & push through tough situations. Which, at times, can be beneficial. But it catches up to us all eventually.
“Softness” wasn’t modeled for most of us – for better and worse.
Self-love isn’t about erasing our shadows – It’s about integrating them so that they stop running the show from the background.
I try hard to let myself work with what I usually keep hidden, through my writing, my artwork & crafts, and journaling. When something is making me feel uncomfortable, I often ask myself why, and what positive & productive things can I do with this?
Self-love is choosing presence over avoidance.
Journaling as a Nervous System Practice
Journaling can be a great way to practice presence and soothe your nervous system – It’s a place to contain & converse with your demons when needed, and stay with yourself while you figure everything out.
There’s something about handwriting such that I personally I would suggest using an analog journal over digital – it forces you to slow down & examine your thoughts completely. Whatever method you choose is up to you of course, for the sake of privacy if nothing else. It doesn’t need to be seen by anyone but you.
It isn’t about writing well, it’s about maintaining presence. A sentence or two is enough if that’s all you have the time or energy for on any given day.
The 7-Day Self-Love Journaling Experiment Overview
On the topic of journaling, I’d like to invite you to try a quick little experiment!
The purpose of this experiment is to slow your nervous system, build trust with yourself, and create a place to land your chaos.
Day one will contain the whole practice, while the following days are optional expansions – so even one day counts!
If you miss a day: Nothing is ruined. Come back when you’re ready.
And remember – Self-love isn’t about consistency, it’s about returning to who the fuck you are.
Day 1: The Self-Love Letter
Write a letter to you as though you’re an outside observer who knows your personal history. No positivity performing, no shaming, no fixing.
Start by naming your current emotional state without judgment, just as a basis to understand the tone of the letter if you were to read it months from now.
Then reflect on the challenging situations you’ve dealt with in your life, being sure to acknowledge your resilience and any lessons you’ve learned or personality strengths you’ve gained through those experiences.
Express gratitude for your growth where it feels appropriate – Gratitude is acknowledgment, not unfounded praise.
Develop some affirmations if you’d like – Affirmations are for orientation, they’re not always hype. (Some fun examples – “I am a badass”, “Be yourself, fuck all”, “Live vibrantly”, or “Alchemize the fire within”.)
Skip anything that feels forced.
Days 2–7: Optional Expansions
Day 2: Naming Without Fixing
(Presence & containment)
Today is about noticing, not solving. Naming something doesn’t make it bigger — it makes it clearer.
What emotions keep resurfacing lately, even when you try to ignore them?
If you weren’t required to “do anything” about them, what would they want you to know?
What are you already doing to survive this season of life, even if it doesn’t look impressive?
Day 3: The Parts You Keep Private
(Shadow integration, gently)
This is for the things you don’t usually say out loud. You don’t need to like these parts. Just let them exist on the page.
What part of yourself do you tend to hide because it feels inconvenient, messy, or “too much”?
When did you first learn that this part wasn’t welcome?
How might this part be trying to protect you, even imperfectly?
Day 4: Slowing the Nervous System
Write slowly today. Let your body lead. This can be a list. Or a single sentence. Or a deep breath and a word.
How does your body feel right now — not metaphorically, literally?
What helps you feel even 5% more settled?
What does “good enough” look like today?
Day 5: Identity, Mood, and Self-Trust
(Who you are when you’re not performing)
Who are you when no one is watching?
What do you do, like, or need that doesn’t make sense to anyone else?
What parts of your identity feel most stable right now?
Day 6: Boundaries as Care
(Self-love in action)
Think structure, not restriction – Boundaries aren’t punishment; they’re containment.
Where do you feel most drained lately?
What boundary (time, space, energy, emotional) would support you right now?
What’s one small way you already protect yourself — even if it’s imperfect?
Day 7: Staying With Yourself
(Integration & closure)
Let’s close the loop without pressure. You don’t have to carry this perfectly – just honestly.
What did you learn about yourself this week?
Where did you show up for yourself, even quietly?
What would it look like to continue “staying” with yourself moving forward?
Lived Authority
As much as I love my family, I protect my morning routine ruthlessly. It’s become a very firm boundary that I maintain in my daily life. Otherwise, I find myself buried under other people in my ears, demanding my attention, all day long.
My morning routine is forced space for other things that are important to me such as reading, writing, movement, & meditation.
Self-love often looks like structured self care – Not indulgence, but an intentional nervous system reset.
Ultimately, for me, it’s a boundary for my family and for me.
Utilizing self-love and practicing self-care during genuinely challenging seasons taught me something important: I can endure chaos. And I can come out prouder, steadier, and more confident on the other side.
It’s about staying with myself.
This isn’t a prescription. It’s an invitation.
You’re the only person you’ll live with your entire life, so you’re allowed to honor yourself.
Self-love doesn’t need to be cringe.
And journaling is a real, usable resource.
If this resonated, you might try one sentence in a notebook tonight. Or tomorrow. Or next week. Returning counts.
If you want more grounded practices like this, feel free to subscribe to my blog – no hype, no fixing, just honest tools for staying with yourself.
Stay tuned for more “offbeat” love related topics this February!
And if you share this post, make sure to pass it to someone who hates ‘self-love’ content. 😉
“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
planner : I’m pretty excited, actually 🫠 I’m hoping to get back into planning parties this year, starting with our annual Crockpot & Retro Video Games party this month. I think it’ll be fun. Homeschool planning & meal planning are done for the month, so…yippie. And we gotta pick a day to go bowling!
self : Doing…pretty good, lol. Winter has my whole body, especially my sinuses, pretty cranky – no humidifier is powerful enough for this shit! But I’m been maintaining my mindful diet (for the most part) & my exercise routines (which I altered to allow for daily yoga, tai chi, & meditation). I’m not really losing much weight, but I’m not gaining any either! So that’s good. And despite occasional brain fog (cuz I sleep like absolute shit), I’m getting a bit more clear headed. I think. And I’ve been making more time for creative pursuits, which is pretty fulfilling.
marriage : Doing pretty good. We’re always trying to find ways to adjust & keep ourselves (& each other) entertained, hehe
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good. Again, no injuries to report, so…yay 😅 They’re both having a lot of fun with the kid’s makeup kit I got Bubby for her birthday. Oh, we went to Rainforest Cafe for Bubby’s bday, per her request. She loves that place!
I can’t believe my Bubby’s 5!!! 😭
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well. Bubby’s really enjoying the “Playing Preschool” curriculum, & she’s learning a lot, but she does miss doing computer work heh. BooBoo loves math (she even wrote up some math facts for Bubby on her birthday card, to “help her out for next year” lol!), and she also loves learning to play the “piano” (the keyboard we got for Xmas), especially the YouTube tutorials for K Pop Demon Hunters songs 🤪
zenBLITZ : Doing pretty good here. I’m ahead enough on my blog posts, and I created a “quote board” to post favorite quotes on my Facebook page. No progress on my novella, though – I haven’t had much time (or urge) to work on it lately, but that’s fine. I’ve been doing quite a bit of leather crafting & crochet, when I have time.
She’s more enthused than she looks, I swear 😂
homemaker (finance, cleaning, gardening, prepping, travel) : Yeah. Whatever. LOL. So help me god, we will being taking a trip this year!!!
witch : Daily yoga & meditation has been plenty fulfilling for me lately, hehe
Currently
eating – Soup. I love me some soup. 😋
drinking – Tea, wine, Skrewball peanut butter whiskey in my coffee sometimes
watching – The Traitors, Doom Patrol, leathercraft videos on YouTube
reading – Tao Te Ching, The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, & I just finished Show Your Work by Austin Kleon. I also finished “The Last Time They Met” by Anita Shreve, don’t know if I mentioned that – holy fuck what a slap in the face!
playing – Coin Master, Roblox
buying – Stuff I might need next month because I need a “no buy” month 😅
listening to – Saviors (album) by Green Day – Goodnight Adeline 💚
celebrating – Valentine’s Day? Candlemas! (Being halfway through this very wintery winter is definitely worth celebrating!)
I’m certainly not one to share product recommendations. And I’m definitely not cool enough to be sponsored by any of the companies I’m about to mention.
I just wanted to share some products & services I’ve used for long enough to confidently say… this shit’s pretty sweet, and maybe you’ll think so too!
No joke… I looked in the mirror one day after my youngest was born & just about screamed when I realized how much of my hair had gone white. Not grey…white. With how wildly frizzy my hair is, I said to myself, “I look like a haggard old mom! I gotta do something about this!!”
I figured that any hair dye would make my hair look unnatural, so…might as well make it look fun!!
Teal is my favey
I did some research on Amazon for hair dyes, and decided it would be most convenient for me to get conditioner with dye in it – that way, I could just dye it every other day or whatever & work with it that way. And that’s what I’ve been doing for at least a couple years now, with Keracolor Clenditioner.
I’ve tried their teal, purple, red, & merlot dyes. Every six months, I switch between teal & purple (just to keep myself entertained).
I don’t color treat my hair at all (no bleach or anything), so everything you see dyed in the picture above is otherwise white (😭😝).
I didn’t like the merlot or red very much – they didn’t “pop” enough for me.
The teal sticks in my hair like it belongs there. Which is lovely because it’s my favorite 😊.
The purple mixes with the teal & sticks to my white hair such that, during the months I use it, my hair has a bit of an ombre effect. It almost looks intentional, and I’m not mad about it. In darker lighting, you don’t really notice it at all (it looks dark brown like the rest of my hair), but in bright & natural light, it really “pops”.
When I switch colors, I just don’t use the dye conditioner for a month. As I said, the teal sticks like it’s supposed to be there, but the purple doesn’t. For me.
I’ve even dyed my daughters’ hair with it (the length of their ponytails) – the older one has teal & she gets quite a kick out of it, the younger one has purple & it hasn’t quite shown up much yet. Both of them have straight auburn hair (they didn’t get that from me, obviously.)
So, if you’re looking to dye your hair, I definitely recommend giving this product a shot. I’ve had a lot of fun with it!
Short video ads started popping up on my Facebook & Instagram for Pair Eyewear a year or so ago, and I was intrigued by the idea that I could just slap a sun shade on top of my regular glasses when I needed sunglasses.
Why does this intrigue me so? Let me tell you! 😆
Throughout the summer, I tend to wear my contacts so that I can easily wear sunglasses. However, allergy hell hits me at the very end of summer every year, leaving me unable to wear contacts with how much my eyes tend to itch. Constantly. Every day. For weeks.
Do I want to spend money on prescription sunglasses that I’ll only really need to use for a month out of the year? Hell no.
Enter Pair Eyewear.
So, what it is…
You buy a “base frame” pair of glasses for about $70 (you do need to share your prescription with them, obviously, but they’re very helpful with that) – they have all kinds of options to choose from as far as style, size, color, etc. They even have sizes & styles for men & children!
These “base frames” have small magnets in the corners so that you can buy “top frames” that match your base frame’s style, but cover the front. So, they have a constantly updated stock of top frame styles (Halloween’s my favorite), and they even have “sun shades” and “tinted lenses”.
Why did I get “silver sparkle” sun shades? I have no clue. I thought they were fun at the time, but…they’re a little much sometimes 😅 Luckily, I can just layer whatever top frames I want on top of them, & make them match whatever I’m wearing!
Why did I get “blue tint” lenses? Dude! They’re fucking awesome! They are super nerdy, but…! When it’s bright out, but not bright enough to warrant sun shades, the blue tint is perfect! Especially when I have a headache!
So if any of this resonates with you, or if you just like the idea of being able to easily switch up your glasses, definitely check out Pair Eyewear – it’s super fun, convenient, and, at times, practical as hell!
However, a ton of things you can find on Amazon (and at other retailers) can be found cheaper on Temu – They’re just cutting out “middle men” who are trying to make a profit on the resale of these products. I was a reseller & I’ve worked in enough retail to know how businesses operate.
So anyways…
I love Temu. I try not to go too crazy – I mostly buy things you can’t really find anywhere else.
Clothes? I’m not one for “fast fashion” – I like my clothes to last at least 5 years 😅 Literally every piece of clothing I’ve gotten from Temu has held up pretty well (except for the iron-on applique on one shirt). I’ve bought shirts, jackets (with a shitty zipper, but it’s warm as hell!), boots (super warm, & sufficient in the snow!), and I wear nothing but their sherpa lined pants all winter.
Warm & cozy Temu boots…& my ass kickin’ boots
I’m getting into leatherworking, & I’ve bought some cheap tools from Temu, including the “famous” $100 manual sewing machine. All this stuff has been awesome to experiment with, without my credit card bursting into flames.
And Xmas gifts galore! I’ve found so many unique gifts for people, I don’t even know where to begin!! One time I did get a metal sign that was bent to hell in transit & I couldn’t straighten it out for the life of me, but they’re really good about refunds (I’ve never had a single problem, especially with things that disappeared during delivery).
Overall, I have not been disappointed by anything I’ve bought off this app – it’s made trying fun new things extremely affordable, which is ideal before you start spending money on quality.
Walmart Spinach & Snack Peppers
Kinda random to mention, I know, but they’re a staple in my diet.
I rarely buy produce (or protein, for that matter) from Walmart. But they have beautifully priced, quality snacking peppers & bags of spinach at my local store! I buy some every time I’m in there.
My kids are even obsessed with the peppers, & they’re food snobs!
Wegmans Onion Hummus
Yummy in my tummy!!!
On the diet note, Wegmans’ Caramelized Onion Hummus is the best hummus on the planet.
I’ve tried a lot of hummus. I do not care for most hummus.
This hummus is the bees knees! 😅
I have to buy two small buckets of it every time I go in to Wegmans because my food snob children will eat it straight out of the container. (I prefer it with my snack peppers, or carrots or celery.)
Seriously, even if you don’t like hummus, try this shit – it’s amazing!
Don’t get excited – most of that cash stack is singles
Apps are great. Cash works better for me. My husband agrees.
It’s a lot easier to know how much money you have to work with when it’s staring you in the face as opposed to being numbers on a screen.
It’s also a lot easier to second guess your purchases while you’re pulling that cash out of your wallet, as opposed to swiping a card real quick.
Not preaching; that’s just my lived experience.
A couple years ago, I was watching videos on YouTube about cash budgeting systems, and trying to figure out how I could make that work for my family.
Then I saw a video with this cash budget wallet, got all excited & bought it, and I’ve been using it ever since – I can’t even imagine how much money it’s actually saved me over the years!
None of these products or services are about optimization – they’re about making life just a little easier & more enjoyable. It’s stuff I like enough to share because maybe you’d like it too!
Small comforts count – you don’t need the “best” or most expensive version of anything. You’re allowed to like whatever works for you.
If you like this kind of real-life sharing, I post more of it on Facebook — random finds, routines, and whatever’s actually working lately.
If you’ve found something that genuinely made your life a little better, I want to hear about it – share it with me in the comments below!
Your digital life is your second home – So why let it turn into a dumpster fire of random files and endless notifications? Do you really need screenshots of that recipe from 3 years ago?
The mental load of digital clutter distracts from creativity, focus, and growth. That’s not to mention the importance of securing your accounts and cutting down on unnecessary digital footprints.
It’s time to reclaim your digital life on your terms. I do this at least once a year, and I always feel like everything’s so much easier to deal with afterwards!
The Manifesto for a Digital Audit
In brief : Keep what’s relevant, and what empowers you. Delete what doesn’t. When in doubt or overwhelm, archive ruthlessly into the searchable abyss.
The PARA Method (Stop Scrolling) can be applied to almost anything that can be organized and searched.
This is about freedom, not perfection.
There is no “one size fits all” system – Do what works for you.
The Checklist
I tried to be inclusive, so not everything will apply to you. Do whatever you need to do. It may help to rearrange this list by which device it makes the most sense for you to work on each task (for example, laptop, phone, or tablet) – An analog mind map might help with organizing, or a digital file.
It might also help to review this list and select your top 3 areas : What stresses you out most? Where do you spend the most time looking for what you need? Start there.
Again, this isn’t about becoming a productivity robot — it’s about reducing friction in your real life.
In no particular order, here we go…
Email – Aim for “Inbox Zero”
Unsubscribe from any boring junk
Flag spam as such
Set up folders / labels for organizing essentials
Create filters for automation (if that would be helpful)
Create a separate “junk email” that you never bother to check
Create a spicy auto reply (”I’m busy doing awesome things, I’ll get back to you ASAP!”)
Phone stuff : voicemails, texts, contacts
Cloud and device files and stuff
Delete or archive old or unnecessary files (duplicate photos, outdated documents)
Organize other files into intuitive folders (use PARA, organize by year, or both!)
Backup important files (only important files!)
Consider backing up to an external hard drive
Delete unused apps, programs, and home screen distractions
Clean up desktop, and downloads folders
Update software and apps you do use
Utilize your computer’s built in disk cleanup, storage optimization, defrag; clear cookies & cache
List cloud files to tackle (ie Google Photos, Google Drive, etc)
Clean up browser bookmarks & history
Turn off any annoying notifications
Social Media
List the social media you use (Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, etc)
Unfollow accounts that are inactive or don’t add any value to your headspace
Audit your profiles for authenticity
Check privacy settings
Avoid oversharing!
Clean up saved posts and playlists
Security and Passwords
Consider using a password manager
Update weak or repeated passwords
Enable two factor authentication on important accounts (Google, banks, etc)
Check for and remove old accounts
Update security software
Subscriptions and Permissions
Cancel services you no longer use or need ($5 subscriptions add up!)
Audit app permissions (who really needs access to your location?!?)
List the e-commerce sites you use (Amazon, eBay, Temu, etc)
Remove saved card info (you’ll thank me later)
Audit wishlists
Make it Fun, & Reflective!
You could gamify the process by making a points system for every action completed, and treat yourself to rewards for milestones of points earned
Journal through the process :
How can streamlining your digital life help you take charge of your time and energy?
What do your digital habits reveal about your priorities?
What do you actually need to feel organized and in control of your digital life?
What habits led to clutter, and how can you avoid that next time?
Personally, my YouTube subscriptions were out of control, as was the spam in my email – It’s so much easier to deal with now that I’ve culled the clutter! And archiving has been my BFF for old files that I’m just not sure if I’ll need sometime in the future (but probably won’t, lol).
Tools to Simplify Your Digital Life
I don’t use password managers, but I’ve heard good things about LastPass and BitWarden.
Digital note apps : I use Notion, but Google Keep, Obsidian, Capacities, and Evernote are other good options.
Focus apps : I liked Forest when I used it, it’s cute. Freedom is another that I’ve heard of.
To do list apps : I’ve used Notion and Google Keep for that. Todoist is pretty popular. For household cleaning tasks, I’ve been using Sweepy for years!
Try & use whatever resonates with you, because you obviously don’t need all of these — pick one tool per category at most.
Embrace Your Chaos Free Digital World
Digital decluttering isn’t about perfection — it’s about making your tech support your life instead of draining it.
Start small. Pick one area. Fifteen minutes counts.
If this helped you, give it a like, share it with someone drowning in notifications, and tell me in the comments: where are you starting your digital declutter?
I’ve tried sharing my blog and creative stuff on a bunch of platforms — Instagram, Pinterest, Bluesky, Tumblr, Facebook.
And honestly?
Most of them feel like work.
They reward loudness over meaning. Performance over presence. And if I’m not actively playing the game, they might as well not exist.
The funny part?
The only place that’s ever driven real traffic to my blog has been Facebook — and that was before I even had a page. (Whoever was sharing my posts back then: I see you, and I appreciate you 💚)
So… Facebook.
It turns out this is the one place where I don’t feel like I have to perform.
I can show up as I am — share a blog post, a song I love, a workout, a half-formed thought, a craft I’m working on, a quote that hit too close, or an article worth chewing on.
No niche-boxing. No pretending everything fits into one aesthetic.
Just a creative dump / hangout space.
And I actually enjoy it.
I recently set up a zen BLITZ Facebook page, and while I’m still figuring out the whole community-building thing (algorithms are… a thing), it already feels more real than anywhere else.
If you like:
eclectic, meaningful shares
a little depth mixed with humor
conversation over content
showing up without pretending you’ve got it all figured out
…this might be your vibe too.
So if you’re on Facebook, come say hi. React, comment, lurk — whatever feels right.
“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
planner : Why is this even in my prompts anymore?!? 😅 Well, right now, I’m trying to plan for Hubby’s bday, but he won’t tell me what he wants to do, so… we’ll see where I can drag his ass out to (probably shopping & Olive Garden, we’ll see). I also have to plan Bubby’s bday, which is in a couple weeks – she’s no help either 😂
self (body & mind, emotion & education) : Doing pretty good, though my diet’s been a bit of a challenge with the holidays – Life’s short, so I’ve been enjoying the hearty foods without going too overboard (nevermind the half bottle of Gerstacker spiced holiday wine I much too thoroughly enjoyed on Xmas Eve! 😜) I’ve kept up with my workouts, though I think I pulled muscle in my shoulder & my hip at some point, but they’re starting to feel better. I’ve been in a pretty good mood, despite the holiday stress. And I’ve found time to work on lots of crafts, both by myself and with the kids, so that’s been good.
marriage : We’re good. Nothing new. He’s excited that I’m excited to get into leatherworking because he’s done a bit of it in the past, mostly with upholstery though – He even got me a cheap manual leather sewing machine & spiffed it all up…now he’s just gotta show me how to use it lol! I’m hoping he gets inspired to work on some projects alongside me.
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good; they had a nice Xmas. BooBoo was obsessed with singing “Feliz Navidad” for a few days there, which was a little much 😅 She was like Nancy fuckin’ Drew with these Shelf Elves all month! (We have 5 elves at this point.) Bubby’s excited over all her new dolls. No notable injuries to report this month, so that’s good 🤣
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : We’re doing good! Before winter break, I’d just started Bubby in Playing Preschool year 2 (and she was really enjoying it!) Because we homeschool year round, and because of all the holidays & birthdays this time of year, our winter break runs from halfway through December to halfway through January; so, we’ve been enjoying the break (all of us!)
zenBLITZ : I’ve been rocking my blog posts this past month! I managed to schedule quite a few, which I’m happy about. I started a Facebook page, where I’ve enjoyed sharing all kinds of things (including some fun songs on Xmas 🤣). No progress on my novella, which is fine, I just work on it when I feel like it. I managed to finish crocheting my step granddaughter’s baby blanket & my step daughter’s matching scarf in time for Xmas, though I apparently don’t know how to double crochet properly 😬 (it’s ok, the blanket didn’t turn out to be too much of a disaster lol sigh). I’m going to be working on a scarf for myself next, which I might share in a future blog post because it has a whole story associated with it. I’m also waiting on some materials to start leatherworking, which is super exciting! Most importantly – my blog hit 100 subscribers, & I can’t even begin to say how grateful I am to all of you who have liked, commented, & subscribed to my little blog over the past year – You fill my heart with such love, and I appreciate the hell out of every one of you!!! Thank you 💚
homemaker (finance, cleaning, travel, etc) : My credit card has just about melted, the house is a mess, and I don’t have the energy to leave the house let alone travel… 😅 All good, though!
Currently
eating – Santa’s cookies 😜
drinking – Spiced wine
watching – Celebrity Game Face
reading – Just finishing “The Last Time They Met” by Anita Shreve; got a couple books in the mail, including one that ChatGPT suggested I read next
playing – Coin Master, & Roblox with the girls (we got into a “super slap” match last night, & I don’t even know what the purpose of the game was LOL)
buying – bday gifts for Bubby, leatherworking supplies, books
I felt like it was as good a time as any to share chapter 2, so here goes… Happy Holidays!! 💚🎄
Imaged created with ChatGPT
Chapter 2 : 2012 : Smell of Gasoline
Days before my 26th birthday, an interesting post popped up on my Facebook feed : “We, as people, need to be who we are, not what we have been made into. We need to open our eyes and realize where we are and where we should be. Destructive behaviors lead to self destruction and not enlightenment. Life is about the choices we make…good, bad or indifferent. We have the power to change anything”
“How strikingly articulate. And contemplative,” I thought to myself. “Looks like he made it home safe!”
I gave it a “thumbs up”.
I’d almost forgot he existed. Occasionally I’d see coverage of the war on TV at the hospital, & quietly send out some loving & protective vibes to the universe for him. But that was about it.
Then I got pissed off over changes in management at the hospital & found myself back at The Apple. My zen.
As I organized the cash in my register one afternoon, I heard a, “Hey! Long time no see!”
I looked up & did a quadruple take. “Holy shit, how are you?!?”
“Umm..I had another kid!” he laughed as he held up the toddler in his arms. “Yeah, that’s a whole story…” he trailed off with a tone of regret.
I chuckled. “I’m sure it is! Well, it’s good to see you!!”
“It’s good to see you too,” he said with a breath of relief. “I’m in a rush. 20 on pump 5. Do you think I could get your number yet?”
A surprised pause and a flattered smirk, before I wrote my number down on a piece of receipt paper.
“Cool! I’ll talk to you soon, ok?!” he said as he put it in his pocket.
“Looking forward to it. Take care sweetie.”
We texted back & forth quite a bit, just getting to know each other.
I told him my favorite band was Green Day, though American Idiot was too “emo” for me (undeniably well written & orchestrated, however).
He said his favorite band was Reverend Horton Heat; he goes to see them every time they come to town. I thought I’d never heard of them until I looked them up on YouTube & came across a performance of “Big Red Rocket of Love” that I saw on Late Night With Conan O’Brien when I was a kid. How funny. I liked them enough then to remember the performance, & I found that I liked them even more now! “Maybe we’ll go to a show together sometime,” I told him. “That’d be fun!”
I told him I used to be fairly well known among the local ska scene when I was a teenager. My first love, my high school sweetheart…he seemed to be the only trombone player in the area who liked ska, so he was in probably five different bands at any given time. And he would always pull me up on stage to help him get the crowd dancing. Everybody knew us because they had no choice.
He said he was a punk kid from Detroit who liked to skateboard and flirt with all the cute girls.
I wasn’t surprised.
His toddler was an “oopsie”, but we’ll call her a surprise. He was lonely one night, went to a bar & hooked up with a chick who probably looked halfway decent in the bar lighting after a couple shots. Nine months later, she started doing everything she could to make his life a living hell. Paternity test be damned, it was his.
He said he liked chicken Caesar salads. And baseball.
I didn’t know what a chicken Caesar salad was. And I hate baseball.
I was standing outside the store one sunny afternoon, taking a cigarette break. Along came Jack, walking toward me from his car which was parked at a gas pump. He kept wiping his face off.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked, half laughing.
“Well, I ran out of gas. So I had to siphon it out of my lawn mower so I could come here. And get gas.” He then explained how siphoning worked because I didn’t know you could do such a thing. “I can’t get the taste of gasoline out of my mouth now! Can you taste it? Just…”
I laughed out loud as I took a couple steps back from him. “I’m smoking a cigarette – I probably shouldn’t get too close to any gasoline fumes.”
“Just… Just see if you can smell it. I don’t wanna walk around smelling like gas all day!”
I leaned in, and…we kissed for a split second, I’m not gonna lie. That sneaky bastard. His lips were soft, and more kissable than I ever realized. I guess I felt like we’d both been patient for long enough, and so I didn’t really think too hard before taking him up on his offer. His very strange offer.
For the record, he did not smell or taste like gas. I almost thought he was full of shit about the whole siphoning thing, but I know he wasn’t. Cuz…that’s Jack.
“Nope, you’re good.”
With the slight smile of a kid who just surprised himself by winning a prize at a carnival & was all proud, he said “Oh good… Thanks!” And then he went in to pay for his gas.
Meanwhile, guilt set in. Hard, like a sharp stab in my chest. I was still in a relationship, after all, and I wasn’t trying to mess with anyone’s heart or mind. Why did I just do that?!?
Because I wanted to. Obviously. I’m not one to let an opportunity pass me by.
“I gotta run. I’m sorry. I’ll text you later?” he said as he rushed back to his car.
“Ok…” And I went back to work.
A couple hours later, I got a text message.
“I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have encouraged that. I know you’re in a relationship. And I’m not trying to complicate things between us, or fuck anything up for you. Honestly. Forgive me?”
“Yeah, I forgive you.” But I’ll never forget.
A couple months passed. Autumn was setting in, and the air had a slight chill.
I hadn’t seen him much since the “kiss”, so I sent him a text message – “Miss you, stranger.”
Moments later, I got a reply – “Miss you too 😦 Sorry I’m a shitty friend. I haven’t had the best couple months and really have become quite the hermit. I’m surprised I still have ANYTHING. Are you at work?”
“Unfortunately. Everyone’s an asshole today LOL”
“I’m sorry. Can I stop by & hang out for a bit?”
“Of course, anytime!”
“Ok, I’ll see you in a little bit.”
Nighttime blanketed the sky by the time he made his way to the store.
“Mind if I go take a break?” I asked my coworker. He told me to take my time. So I did.
We went out beside the store where we could chat without being interrupted by regular customers excited to see me or old people looking to complain to a shirt that matches the store.
“How’s it going??” I asked. “What have you been up to?”
“Not much,” he said with a bit of sadness in his voice. “Just ruminating a lot. A lot of shit hit the fan for me. No motivation. Sad? Depressed? I don’t fucking know anymore. Just trying to survive.”
“Why, what’s going on?”
He took a deep breath. I even think he started shaking a little. Looking down at the ground, he started venting like I’d never experienced in my life (and lots of people like venting to gas station attendants for some reason).
His ex wife was trying to turn their kids on him. Doubling down in court with the new baby’s mama, for custody and for child support; she was obsessed with turning everyone on the planet against him (no surprise she buddied up with the ex wife). There was an incident at work with an inmate falsely accusing him of something, so he was arrested in front of one of his kids and now he had to go to criminal court for that too. His kids were acting out – stealing, lying, all the stuff kids do when they’re overwhelmed. And understandably so.
“Jesus christ…” I gasped. My problems seemed petty as fuck in comparison. I couldn’t imagine all this drama – it seemed like everyone was out to get him. No wonder he felt so drained. “I’m sorry you’ve got all that weight on your soul. I wish there was something I could do… I could go to court with you if you want, for moral support? We could go out to lunch after!”
“No, that’s ok.” A slight smile of relief. “It’s early in the morning. I’m sure you’re fast asleep.”
“I can wake up early if I really want to, you know!” I laughed.
What else could I do besides be there to listen to him when it gets to be too much? Nothing, unfortunately.
With hesitation, he went on.
“I had a cold a few days ago, and I took a little too much cough medicine, and…I wondered how much I would have to take to end all this. You know?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “No amount of cold medicine is likely to end anything. You’ll just trip balls if you’re lucky. Not that I know or anything.” (My trombone wielding ex was a self proclaimed addict, & he was pretty fond of “Robo Trippin’” on cold meds right before we met – I knew quite a bit about the effects of various street & OTC drugs, though mostly not from personal experience.)
“I’m sorry to drop all this on you… really. I have no one else.”
I just wanted to wrap my arms around him & let him hide for a little while. I also didn’t want to fuck with his heart, especially when he seemed to be feeling so vulnerable. “You’ll get through this. It’s the yin & yang of life, right? Ebb & flow? This is a pretty strong ebb, but it’s not quite a tsunami. Close, yeah, but not quite. It’ll settle in time. And I’m here, no matter what, for whatever that’s worth. I wish I could fix things for you though, I really really do.”
“Thanks. You’re a good friend. I’m sorry I’m really not myself right now.”
“We all have versions of ourselves. I’m here for it all, ok?” I said.
I could see the line growing in the store, which meant my break time had to come to an end.
“I really don’t wanna go back in there right now, but I kinda have to. I’m sorry. Can I give you a hug?”
“Of course. Anytime.”
We wrapped our arms around each other. Tight. I didn’t think he’d ever let go. I kind of hoped he wouldn’t. Once I settled into it, everything melted away. I couldn’t hear any customers; I didn’t care if the line went out the door & down the block to the next gas station. It was like time stopped for a few moments, fully engulfed in his…everything – body, mind, heart, & soul. I’d loved and been loved a lot in my life, but I’d never experienced anything quite like that. I felt safe, warm, genuinely loved. More than ever before.
I could feel his breathing start to slow, and his heartbeat. I could feel his tension melting away. I think he felt the same as I did.
“I don’t want to let go, but I probably should,” I muttered.
“Just one more second,” he replied. “Y’know, they say that if a hug lasts long enough, the oxytocin will leave you bonded for life.”
“Sounds like witchcraft to me,” I laughed. I would know- I’d studied witchcraft most of my life.
“It’s psychology,” he said.
“Same thing!” I’d studied both pretty extensively.
He squeezed me tight before slowly letting go, and quietly he said, “I love you, Sally. Thanks for being a good friend. Sorry I’m such a shitty one.”
“I love you too. Just, please, try to take care of yourself. You matter too much to let anything dim those sparklers in your eyes.” I gave him a hopeful grin as I stepped back toward the store.
“Go on, before you get fired. I’ll text you later.”
As I cashed out the 436 customers that magically appeared over the past few minutes, my mind was trying to process everything that had just happened – it was a lot to take in. “Holy shit, did he just tell me he’d thought about killing himself? Or was he just saying he wanted to get fucked up enough to escape the shit on his mind?”, hit me pretty hard all of sudden. Either way, I realized I wasn’t just the cute gas station attendant anymore – I was someone he trusted with a depth of emotions that most people aren’t invited to see.
But what could I do, really?!? I can be here; I can always be here as long as he’ll let me. That’s about it.
Then some shit hit the fan for me.
I stopped by to visit my father as I did every Sunday, and he was sitting in the kitchen with a walker.
I said hi, and kept looking down at the walker, thinking he’d indulge me on why he dragged it out.
Stubborn old Marine he was, he did not clue me in until I asked.
“Oh, I think I had a stroke.”
“WHAT?!? Why aren’t you in a hospital?!?”
He chuckled and said, “yeah, I probably should, huh? Let me finish this beer, & then I’ll call for an ambulance.”
“Oh what the fuck…” I called the ambulance. While he finished his beer.
Long story short, he’d had a relatively mild stroke, and tests showed a small, cancerous tumor in his left lung. The stroke left him needing physical therapy for a couple months; the only long lasting effects were numbness in some of his left fingers and enough trouble walking to need a walker. Once that was situated well enough, he was miraculously approved for surgery to remove the tumor, and it went without a hitch!
His stroke ended up being a blessing in disguise for him because it led him to better health & self care than he’d bothered with since before my mom died. Because it led to me taking over his health care, home care, and, well, everything care. Because he just wouldn’t anymore.
It was the beginning of the biggest sacrifice of my life.
Yet I still felt my problems were minor in comparison to Jack’s.
It was a bright sunny day at the store. He stopped in, and I went out for a break with him.
“I love you,” he said sweetly.
“I love you too,” I smiled.
“No, like, I really love you. I think I’m in love with you.” He looked shyly at the ground.
“Oh!” I could feel my cheeks getting red and the vein in my forehead starting to throb. “Uh, I don’t think you’re in love with me…”
“Oh yeah? Why do you say that?” He seemed a bit perturbed.
“You’ve never lived with me,” I laughed. “There’s a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them. And, in my opinion, you can’t know until you’ve lived with someone. Whether or not you’d end up resenting them and all that crap. Y’know?”
“Hm.” He seemed even more perturbed. “Well, I still think I’m in love with you, but whatever.”
“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be mean or anything,” I said quickly. “I love you a lot, and I know you feel the same. I just don’t think you’d be able to stand me if we were actually together, y’know? I don’t know.”
“Ok.”
And that was that.
“How’s you?” I texted him a few days later.
“Hanging in there. You?”
“Just had one of my molars pulled. I don’t know why my teeth are so fucked up,” I shrugged to myself.
“Maybe you just have soft enamel,” he said. “I do. Unfortunately.”
“I’ve never heard of such a thing, though I can see how that could be possible,” I replied. “No, they’re not fucked up like that. I don’t know. What have you been up to?”
“Well, I started trying to eat better. Lots of salads. And spinach. And I started running again!”
“Running from what?” I laughed. I sent him that meme that says “if you ever see me running, please kill whatever is chasing me “.
“Ha ha. (Not amused.) I started doing tai chi, too. I know you do yoga- have you ever tried tai chi?”
“No, not yet. I’ll have to look into that!” (It’s too slow for me. I’m too used to the more grandiose movements of hatha. Though it does have its appropriate situations.)
“Oh, I got a girlfriend!”
“Oh cool! Where’d you meet her?!?” I was genuinely excited for him! He needed a positive distraction from the chaos. Besides me.
“We dated a while ago. I saw her at the grocery store with her kiddo and decided to see how she was doing. One thing led to another, and we’re back together! You’ll like her, she’s really cool. Her name’s Desiree.”
“Awesome, I can’t wait to meet her!!”
Another couple weeks passed. I didn’t hear from him much. I assumed he was busy with his new girlfriend, which is totally understandable.
A girl came into the store, smiling at me. She seemed…cute. Friendly. A little odd.
She stopped after looking at me for a moment.
“Are you Sally?!” She seemed a little hesitant.
“Yup! You must be Desiree? Nice to meet you!”
“Yup! Nice to meet you too! Jack’s sick, and I thought I’d just come pick up some comfort stuff for him, y’know?”
“Aww!” I smiled. “I’m glad he has someone so sweet in his life, he really deserves it.” I was trying to be nice, but I just had a weird feeling about her. Not because of her, or him; I just worried it wouldn’t last as long as it should, for whatever reason. I tend to have pretty good intuition.
So, while I was trying to be nice because I genuinely thought she seemed like a sweet girl, I was also trying to give the vibe that I’ll kick her ass if she doesn’t treat him right.
She bought him some snacks and drinks.
“Tell him I hope he feels better!” I mentioned as she left.
Weeks passed. And then a couple months.
I didn’t hear from him, or see him for that matter, hardly at all.
We’d text briefly, occasionally. Tell each other we missed each other. He’d stop in for a couple minutes to get gas. But that’s about it.
After a very abrupt visit to the store, I finally texted him, “I miss you. I don’t feel like we’re friends anymore…cuz I never hear from you anymore.”
“Oh. Ok.”
And then I didn’t hear from him at all…
He’d once posted about “being who we really are, not what we’ve been made into”. But now, with the silence between us, I wasn’t sure we even knew who we were in the first place.
“Life is about the choices we make…good, bad or indifferent.” Seems he chose to leave me behind.
I guess he didn’t love me as much as he said he did.
If this chapter resonated with you — especially if you’ve loved someone at the wrong time — you’re not alone.
Have you ever loved someone you couldn’t keep?
You don’t have to answer out loud — but you’re welcome to.
“New year, new you!” You know that’s bullshit, on so many levels.
For one thing, pushing the reset button on the calendar year doesn’t change anything other than a number. People change over time — often quietly, unevenly, and without clean timelines – the dates don’t matter at all.
For another thing, there’s nothing wrong with you such that you need to completely “reinvent yourself” or whatever – Goals are intended for self respect, not self shaming or punishment for not being “good enough”. Everyone could benefit from improving their lives in certain ways, at certain times.
So, while I am writing this post for the new year, I’m going to share some reflections, practical steps, and a loving nudge for all of us to get our proverbial shits together whenever we need it, throughout the year.
Let’s be intentional about how we design our lives, shall we?
Step 1: Reflect Like You Mean It
(You might want to spread these reflection prompts out over a few days. Or weeks, whatever you need to do. 😉)
A. Role Review
Make a list of all of your roles in your life – whatever applies to you.
For example, mine are : myself, wife, mom, homeschool teacher, creator, & household manager.
It might seem like some of those things overlap, and they do because they’re collectively my life, but they’re also separate responsibilities.
What roles in your life carry their own responsibilities – are you a student? A volunteer? And even if your kids are adults, they still count, now just as much as ever.
Once you have your list, go through each role individually & ask yourself the following :
How do I feel about this area, as far as the associated responsibilities & the general vibe?
Why?
What, if anything, would I like to improve here?
No self judgment, just be honest.
If a role feels heavy or resentful, that’s information — not failure.
B. Define Your Ideal Life
Perfection isn’t reality.
Without that in mind, get wild with this one!
What, ideally, would make your life feel peak vibrant, authentic, & exhilarating? Spend a few minutes writing it out.
Make this personal: values-based, vision-based, aesthetic, emotional, or messy.
Dream big!
C. Optional Reflection Prompts
A few more things to ask yourself, if you’d like :
Where in my life am I proud of myself?
Where am I drained?
What’s one thing I’d change immediately if I could?
Step 2: Choose a Word of the Year
This doesn’t need to be too drawn out, and it doesn’t need to be for a whole calendar year.
Pick an anchor word to help you focus your efforts on for now – if it changes, change is good. Just pick one at a time, a truth to lean into for a while to serve as a compass & a reminder of the direction you’re going (which is forward 😉).
Examples I’ve used in the past : simplify, intent, & embody.
Write it somewhere you’ll see it regularly. Make a Canva design & hang it on your wall. Tattoo it on your arm if that’s your thing. Just don’t forget your reminder.
Step 3: The Brain Dump
Set a timer for at least five minutes and free write a list of anything on your mind. And, while you’re at it, everything.
No filtering, no performing as though it’s intended for anyone but you. Just get it all out of your head & onto paper.
Some loose categories to consider : Life + Work + Health + Wealth + Relationships. Maybe even consider some things from your “Fuck Yeah list” or childhood hobbies.
If your brain dump feels overwhelming, that’s the point — you’re emptying the clutter.
Step 4: Prioritize Intentionally
Go back through your brain dump and sort through it :
Hell Yes (non-negotiables or deeply aligned)
Maybe (park for later)
Hell No (things you’re carrying out of guilt or habit) – cross these right out
Then sort through the “Hell Yes” again, as well as your previous reflections – what things take priority for you, right now? What’s important to your wellbeing & sense of self? You really want to minimize this list as much as possible (no more than 2 or 3 things).
Step 5 : Identify the Why
For these priorities, ask yourself why those things matter to you.
Dig deep — the root motivation, the thing that will keep you going during slumps. Does it relate to your values, your identity, your direction in life?
Ask yourself – “If I lose motivation, what truth about this goal will get my ass in gear?”
Step 6: Build the Plan (Projects + Systems)
There are two main ways to execute on most goals – systems & projects.
Projects are time bound, outcome based goals with a definitive ending point. For example, planning a vacation or launching a product.
Systems are repeated behaviors, such as habits, routines, & processes. For example, I have my morning & evening routines, and our homeschool routine – all of these things include habits that better my life (& my kids), which is always the goal.
Pick no more than 1–3 major projects to work on or systems to develop to focus on this quarter.
An Optional Perspective : Experiments
If you have a bit more of a scientific mind, it may be helpful to view these new projects & systems as experiments.
Include:
Hypothesis
Test (action)
Evaluate
Implement or Pivot
“Experiments” remove failure-shame, because they’re just experiments. Try a thing, and if it doesn’t work, try something else.
Keep Yourself Accountable (Gently)
Some people like to tell their loved ones or an online community about their goals to help keep them accountable – they can keep those people updated on their progress.
While I kind of do that here on my blog a little bit, I prefer the visuals of habit tracking in my planners and reflecting regularly in my journals.
Whatever you do, choose something that feels supportive, not punishing if you don’t (or can’t) follow through.
Reflection + Adjustment
Reflection is key, especially if that’s your main accountability protocol.
Even if it’s not, you should definitely ask yourself regularly what’s working with your progress, what’s not working, and how you can make things better or easier for yourself.
For myself, I check off my habit tracker daily. Weekly, I review & see how the week went. And then monthly, I review my weekly reflections & see what I need to adjust.
Your timeframes & means of reflection may be different, but it’s essential to do if you want to see continuous improvements in life.
Real-Life Examples From My Current Goals
For nearly a year now, I’ve been focusing on a few things – my physical health, my writing & creativity, homeschooling, & my marriage. All of these things are major priorities for me for their own reasons, and that hasn’t changed.
For my health goals, I have a daily health log on Notion where I keep myself accountable for the food I eat throughout the days (I can be a bit of an “emo eater” sometimes). I keep a separate analog journal to log my weights & what exercise I do on a daily basis. Weekly, I review these logs & reflect on how I did in my analog journal. (And it’s been pretty neat seeing how my weights have changed over the course of months!)
I track what writing I get done daily in another analog notebook, and reflect on that each week as well. I never feel like I’m getting anything done, but my notebook reminds me that I do get stuff done & encourages me to keep at it!
We follow curricula for most of the girls’ homeschooling, and I’m constantly asking myself if we’re moving along at a reasonable pace. I adjust accordingly, and I keep track of progress on Notion, which makes it super easy when it comes to writing up quarterly reports!
Closing
You certainly don’t need a perfect plan to start, you just need to know where you want to go and what first steps to take on the journey.
One honest step is more powerful than a polished vision board.
Treat the coming year as an experiment in becoming more you, & let’s see where it takes us!
If you liked this post, please give it a “like”, share it with friends, and subscribe if you’re new.
If you’re comfortable, share your word of the season or one priority in the comments — I love seeing how people design their lives differently!
And if you’d like to watch a video I enjoyed that kind of plays in to what this article was about, check this out 👇
With all the options out there, how do you know which one to choose? Do you even need a reinvented method?
You don’t need a “perfect system.” You need a system that actually fits your life.
Let’s try to figure that out…
Keep It Simple, Stupid. (KISS)
Some people tend to overbuild: too many trackers, too many spreads, too much pressure.
Why?
Sometimes it can be fun, but eventually you’ll likely burn yourself out.
The real red flag: you’re not using it OR it feels like it’s going to explode. Literally.
Focus on minimalism over aesthetic chaos, or too much “quantified self” data that you’ll realistically never give a shit about (ie: 12 mood trackers, tracking water intake by color, etc.)
Focus on what you actually need.
What You Really Need to Plan For
Grab a piece of paper or your journal – it’s list time!
What do you feel the need to plan for in the first place?
Everyone has universal categories :
Appointments & time-specific stuff
Goals / Habits
What else? For me personally, I also need to plan for :
Family adventures
Homeschool
Meal planning
Now ask yourself about each – Does this category make my life easier, or am I adding it because I feel like I should? Cross out the unnecessary & don’t worry about it!
The fewer categories you depend on, the longer the system lasts.
What To Do If Your System Feels Boring
Boring is fine. If it works, don’t fix it.
Consistency is boring. But boring is how you get results.
Overhaul cravings usually mean the current system never felt quite as effective as it needs to be. Ask yourself “why?”
Some small refresh ideas:
Simplify back to only the essentials
Switch up a layout
Add minimal decoration, color, or a theme
Reduce screens by intentionally using paper moments
Pre-Made Planner vs. Build-Your-Own
There are certainly benefits to both.
Pre-made = great for beginners, busy people, and those who hate setup.
DIY = great for people with unique schedules, neurodiverse brains, or flexible lifestyles.
Ask yourself : Do you want structure handed to you? Or do you want the freedom to build something more flexible?
Digital vs. Paper: Choosing Your Tools
Personally, I use both.
Notion strengths:
Holds everything.
Organizes long-term projects, archives, info-dumps, and complex systems.
Perfect for the behind-the-scenes life management.
Paper strengths:
Screen-free
Immediate
Great for daily/weekly overview
Helps cut down distractions
Good for grounding & simplicity
Hybrid = the best of both worlds.
Your planner doesn’t have to be one thing.
Avoiding Planning Fatigue
You don’t need January 1st to start fresh; you can start on any random Tuesday!
Consider your life as a collection of seasons, not years — winter rhythms vs. spring energy vs. summer chaos.
Adjust as life shifts.
(And don’t overdo it!)
My Personal Setup
As I said, I use a hybrid setup as my planning system.
Above is a screenshot of my main Notion dashboard. It’s an adaptation of Tiago Forte’s “PARA Method” (projects, areas, resources, archive) – planner, roles, interests, & archive.
For me, I don’t have any projects that aren’t related to my “roles”, so that section is just my planner – mostly a calendar & running to do lists.
“Roles” are ongoing areas of my life – mostly health (physical & mental), homeschooling, zen BLITZ, & home stuff (shopping lists, budgeting & bills, etc). Each role has its own page with its own databases – for example, my physical health has my workouts so I can cycle through them, & mental health includes my daily journal!
“Interests” holds things that aren’t directly related to my roles – so, information about people, books, restaurants, etc.
And the archive is where things go to die cuz I’ll probably never need them…but maybe I will. 😅
Obviously, you don’t need to use PARA — this is just what works for me.
And this is my Happy Planner Mini. (Nevermind the Fruit Loops stain from my kiddo – that’s part of the charm of analog 😂)
In here, I have monthly calendars so I have a nice overview of things going on, weekly overviews, and daily stuff so I don’t have to look at my phone a zillion times a day.
Obviously, I print my own paper & don’t know how to format it properly for my dumbass printer, but that’s irrelevant. It’s cheap & customizable.
This satiates my desire for a proper “Bullet Journal”. For the most part.
Review
Start with what matters and ignore everything else.
Don’t force yourself into a planner that looks good but doesn’t work.
You don’t need a brand-new system — you just need one that fits your actual life, right now.
Planning is supposed to support you, not stress you out.
Start small. Adjust as needed.
Start with what matters. Ignore the rest. If you like this vibe, hit ‘like,’ share it, and follow along — more rebellious simplicity coming soon.
Just about finished the biggest baby blanket ever made xD
Starting leathercrafting – Shouldn’t be too difficult, right? LOL
“Where I’m at” posts are just updates about what’s going on in my life, based on the areas / roles in my life.
planner : Gotta figure out what I’m giving everyone for Xmas, that’s for sure! 😆😵💫 I have some stuff ready, but I never feel like it’s “good enough” (I’m sure you know how that is…and it’s stupid).
self : Doing pretty good! I’ve kept up with my workouts, and I switched to a “mindful diet”, though I still use the schedule I mentioned a while ago. I haven’t been terribly cranky lately either, so that’s always good LOL! 😂 – I’ve been sticking to my routines & creating a lot of stuff, so I guess that’s keeping my mind occupied.
marriage : We’re doing well, thanks for asking 😂 We managed to get a couple date days in over the past month, which has been refreshing! 😁
mom (BooBoo & Bubby) : The girls are good, though their tempers aren’t. Heh 😑. Bubby got mad at BooBoo & threw her tablet at her, hit her smack dab in the middle of the forehead, & she’s probably gonna have a scar from it; BooBoo threw a chair for some reason the other day. So, I gotta figure out how to teach them better ways to deal with their big emotions…
BooBoo’s got a booboo 😬
homeschool teacher (1st grade & PK) : School’s going well! Now that we’re in full swing, I switched our routine up a bit & it’s been going pretty well. We’ve added some yoga & meditation into our routine, and while I work on one of them individually with the curriculum, hubby’s been working with the other on various things. Bubby’s really catching up with letter & number identification, so now I’m not sure if she’s dyslexic or not (I should just get her tested within the next year or so, I suppose).
Mini Yogis 😊
zenBLITZ : I’m really having fun! I’ve got a bunch of blog posts ready, & I’ve started chapter 4 of my novella! Also, I’m working on crocheting a blanket for my step granddaughter, and I’ve started experimenting with leatherworking! Now I just gotta figure out how to monetize something. Anything. 😅
homemaker : Yup. Still just…yep. I’ve finally started on my “dark half of the year” house cleaning projects! So that’s good 😊👍
witch : Yoga has been fulfilling enough for me lately; I don’t really want or need anything more spiritually at the moment. 🕉️
Currently
eating – Thanksgiving ham (cuz turkey is boring lol)
drinking – mint & fruity teas
watching – antenna TV cuz my Internet is down for no good reason
reading – The Last Time They Met by Anita Shreve
playing – Roblox with my kids, when our Internet is working
buying – Xmas & bday gifts!
listening to – lofi chillhop on Pandora, at the moment
zen BLITZ 